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Does anyone suffer from mental illness on here?

I am really struggling at the moment. I can’t help but think how I have wasted my life due to my mental health that I have suffered with through my life. I have nothing but regrets about how I had it all but did nothing with it.

I am paranoid about the future. I am anxious, depressed and would be going for ADHD assessment and autism assessment if I could afford to do so.

I have an assignment due this week for my Masters but I find myself with zero motivation as how can I be motivated for a future that I don’t want?

My mum has early Alzheimer’s. She has had it ongoing for a few years but it’s progressing worse and to see her struggling with activities that used to be so simple to her breaks my heart. And to know it’s not something she will come back from is too hard to take.

My parents worked tirelessly through their lives to provide the best that they could for my brother and I. They deserved so much better than they got from me. I hate myself but wonder why life has had to be like this. I feel like my anxiety and depression always held me back. I could continue but this post is too long already.

I’ll back up what @spurspinter1 said. It’s so important to talk, or express what you’re feeling somehow, including on here if it helps. No post is too long.

Anxiety and depression are crushing - but they can and do go, and your strategies to cope if and when they do return will continue to improve.

I’m no expert, but I have got personal experience and I know that things can and do get better - even after years of finding things hard.
 
So I go in to the mental health centre to ask to help and I hear person in front of me stating their DOB and address in front of me who is asking for help but offered paperwork and procedures.

My turn next, and I'm not comfortable bellowing out my details in a hushed sterile room full of people with psychotic tenancies like myself.

Having been asked for my DOB on the phone and put it in the hatch for the lady to look at, she immediately started reading it out loud and I requested that she stopped doing so in a reasonable manner, perhaps she's not familiar with the safeguarding of data but she than laughed and I explained that my security isn't a laughing matter.

Now I'm trying to work out if it was my fault for not explaining the premise of reading sensitive data in an inside voice, or what may be an unorthodox use of technology throwing her for a loop but it seemed rational to me.

I'm investigating my relation with conflict as I am absolutely guilty of taking things out on the wrong people but normal folk seem like npcs to me at the minute and nothing makes sense. Did I go in there so I could find an issue? You don't have to look long to find how fudged our mental health services are at the minute, "they're trying their best and are understaffed" is a damning state of affairs, it's not a McDonald's.

Having said that I am not fueling the fire this time around as whilst I met some cracking characters, mental hospitals aren't really a great vibe for one's mental health what with all the screaming, patients assaulting each other and whatnot so I am not looking for another stay.

Not asking for solutions but most people appear to be a bit scared of me at the minute so wanted a place I could vent without knowing my name popping up on a phone screen has caused a pang of anxiety to someone.
 
So I go in to the mental health centre to ask to help and I hear person in front of me stating their DOB and address in front of me who is asking for help but offered paperwork and procedures.

My turn next, and I'm not comfortable bellowing out my details in a hushed sterile room full of people with psychotic tenancies like myself.

Having been asked for my DOB on the phone and put it in the hatch for the lady to look at, she immediately started reading it out loud and I requested that she stopped doing so in a reasonable manner, perhaps she's not familiar with the safeguarding of data but she than laughed and I explained that my security isn't a laughing matter.

Now I'm trying to work out if it was my fault for not explaining the premise of reading sensitive data in an inside voice, or what may be an unorthodox use of technology throwing her for a loop but it seemed rational to me.

I'm investigating my relation with conflict as I am absolutely guilty of taking things out on the wrong people but normal folk seem like npcs to me at the minute and nothing makes sense. Did I go in there so I could find an issue? You don't have to look long to find how fudged our mental health services are at the minute, "they're trying their best and are understaffed" is a damning state of affairs, it's not a McDonald's.

Having said that I am not fueling the fire this time around as whilst I met some cracking characters, mental hospitals aren't really a great vibe for one's mental health what with all the screaming, patients assaulting each other and whatnot so I am not looking for another stay.

Not asking for solutions but most people appear to be a bit scared of me at the minute so wanted a place I could vent without knowing my name popping up on a phone screen has caused a pang of anxiety to someone.


Vent away my good man, vent away.
As someone with anxiety, stress and an epic ability to bottle it all up until it impacts my physical self i know how good it is to have a good old vent.
Its especially helpful when the vent is to someone that understands some of what you are going through and that's it's almost a therapy.
 
I am really struggling at the moment. I can’t help but think how I have wasted my life due to my mental health that I have suffered with through my life. I have nothing but regrets about how I had it all but did nothing with it.

I am paranoid about the future. I am anxious, depressed and would be going for ADHD assessment and autism assessment if I could afford to do so.

I have an assignment due this week for my Masters but I find myself with zero motivation as how can I be motivated for a future that I don’t want?

My mum has early Alzheimer’s. She has had it ongoing for a few years but it’s progressing worse and to see her struggling with activities that used to be so simple to her breaks my heart. And to know it’s not something she will come back from is too hard to take.

My parents worked tirelessly through their lives to provide the best that they could for my brother and I. They deserved so much better than they got from me. I hate myself but wonder why life has had to be like this. I feel like my anxiety and depression always held me back. I could continue but this post is too long already.

Mate have a watch of the new Jonah Hill movie on Netflix. Might help you, I found it surprisingly good.
 
Is called Stutz

The therapist having parkinson's is a bit close to the bone for me.

But his stuff about working with your shadow is so good. Literally a lot of the stuff which has come up in the show comes up in my support group.

Really worth watching all the way through.
Awesome, thanks! Will add it to the list.
 
How's everyone doing at the moment? I'm going through a slightly tricky spell - I was left with tinnitus after recurrent panic attacks almost two years ago, and for whatever reason the tinnitus has been causing a resurgence of anxiety/panic these last few days (even though the tinnitus itself hasn't got any worse, I don't think!) Only slept about an hour last night, and am now sat at my work desk trying to fight through the brain fog and occasional squirts of anxiety. Can feel hard to find a way out of the negative spiral at times like these. But I'm sure I'll get there somehow. I've gone more than a year without this level of anxiety/panic, so it should be possible to get back to that place (at least that's what I'm telling myself!)

How's everyone else?
 
How's everyone doing at the moment? I'm going through a slightly tricky spell - I was left with tinnitus after recurrent panic attacks almost two years ago, and for whatever reason the tinnitus has been causing a resurgence of anxiety/panic these last few days (even though the tinnitus itself hasn't got any worse, I don't think!) Only slept about an hour last night, and am now sat at my work desk trying to fight through the brain fog and occasional squirts of anxiety. Can feel hard to find a way out of the negative spiral at times like these. But I'm sure I'll get there somehow. I've gone more than a year without this level of anxiety/panic, so it should be possible to get back to that place (at least that's what I'm telling myself!)

How's everyone else?

Hope you have a better night. Even if you don’t tonight, it will pass.

Have you ever read anything by Dr Claire Weekes? Her work was mostly done in the 60s and 70s, but it forms the basis for many recognised modern treatments for panic and anxiety. She writes in a very down-to-earth and reassuring way. I’d recommend it.
 
Hope you have a better night. Even if you don’t tonight, it will pass.

Have you ever read anything by Dr Claire Weekes? Her work was mostly done in the 60s and 70s, but it forms the basis for many recognised modern treatments for panic and anxiety. She writes in a very down-to-earth and reassuring way. I’d recommend it.

I did, thank you!

I hadn’t heard of Claire Weekes - will have a look into her, thanks for the recommendation.
 
Big shout out to everyone who "likes" a post on someone's struggles without actually replying (Elltrev's honest account of where they're at). What an odd part of social media, yes glory glory is social media sorry about that, liking Elltrev's post without commenting is akin to someone telling you their Mum/ Dad has just died and you just smiling and walking away.

Hope you can find a way out of your negative spiral @elltrev - I've heard sleep is pretty key so if you have a safe and secure space to rest up, that's a blessing. I don't want to get to personal but am intrigued as to whether you've tried any meds in terms of your anxiety, or properly explored what may be causing it ie if there is anything beyond tinnitus which I appreciate must be unsettling.
 
Big shout out to everyone who "likes" a post on someone's struggles without actually replying (Elltrev's honest account of where they're at). What an odd part of social media, yes glory glory is social media sorry about that, liking Elltrev's post without commenting is akin to someone telling you their Mum/ Dad has just died and you just smiling and walking away.

Hope you can find a way out of your negative spiral @elltrev - I've heard sleep is pretty key so if you have a safe and secure space to rest up, that's a blessing. I don't want to get to personal but am intrigued as to whether you've tried any meds in terms of your anxiety, or properly explored what may be causing it ie if there is anything beyond tinnitus which I appreciate must be unsettling.


I think that's a bit harsh, we all have our problems and can appreciate some of the trials and tribulations that others are going through but not have the capacity to articulate them, feel comfortable telling them or think that anyone would be that interested.

Its two years tomorrow since my mum passed away, it still hurts like fudge. Like many i was denied the proper process of grieving due to covid restrictions. That's taken a real toll.
In that two years I've been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and put on meds, meds that can lead to mood swings and bouts of depression, something I've always been prone to.
According to my consultant the trigger for the UC is stress and anxiety, something again I've struggled with all my life.
Friends that I've made in the last 20 years or so don't recognise me, they say I'm a different person, not the confident, social, outgoing person who would take the lead that they know.
Old school mates tell me that I've regressed back to the shy and surly kid who was afraid of their own shadow i was as a young teenager.
I fight the fight and I'm trying to rebuild, but sometimes it all comes crashing down on me, its tough and tbh sometimes if it wasn't for my wife i don't think I'd get through it.
We all cling to someone or something, that reason to swim up from depths to the light, maybe sometimes it feels like you've been down there so long your lungs are going to burst but keep swimming people, the light is there, and it can bloody beautiful.
 
I think that's a bit harsh, we all have our problems and can appreciate some of the trials and tribulations that others are going through but not have the capacity to articulate them, feel comfortable telling them or think that anyone would be that interested.

Its two years tomorrow since my mum passed away, it still hurts like fudge. Like many i was denied the proper process of grieving due to covid restrictions. That's taken a real toll.
In that two years I've been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and put on meds, meds that can lead to mood swings and bouts of depression, something I've always been prone to.
According to my consultant the trigger for the UC is stress and anxiety, something again I've struggled with all my life.
Friends that I've made in the last 20 years or so don't recognise me, they say I'm a different person, not the confident, social, outgoing person who would take the lead that they know.
Old school mates tell me that I've regressed back to the shy and surly kid who was afraid of their own shadow i was as a young teenager.
I fight the fight and I'm trying to rebuild, but sometimes it all comes crashing down on me, its tough and tbh sometimes if it wasn't for my wife i don't think I'd get through it.
We all cling to someone or something, that reason to swim up from depths to the light, maybe sometimes it feels like you've been down there so long your lungs are going to burst but keep swimming people, the light is there, and it can bloody beautiful.

So perhaps we should go down Facebook's route of different emoji responses rather than just a like? It seems odd to like a post of someone in potential distress. Does that make me the bad guy for feeling that way? Sorry, let's all grin like a Cheshire cat at difficult times, not like that's a horror film in itself.

It wouldn't be appropriate if I "liked" your response would it? (and I am truly sorry to hear of the circumstances but have nothing positive to offer as I'm lacking experience on that front but wish you all the best!). Be lucky you've got any friends nevermind ones from twenty years ago and appreciate them I guess? I know that might sound a bit arsy but you could have nobody concerned about you, consider that.

Edit - I'm already a little bit wary that I've cone across a bit cold and not properly considered the depth of your post, I was mainly responding to your first paragraph and apologies if the rest seems a bit ill-thought out.

We should have a "sad" response alongside a "happy response, I think that would help @scaramanga or whoever does this stuff..No doubt we want to show support to each other but brick, "liking" honestly sad or troubling posts seems way off to me.
 
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