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Dele interview

JerusalemMan said:
Displaying and talking about emotions is not the same as being emotionally intelligent. The self-awareness of one's emotions and their impact on you/others doesn't automatically correlate to displays of emotion and torrents of babble just about them. It can, in fact, be an indicator of a different type of emotional lack of intelligence compared to that manifested more often in previous generations.
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All of that is true up to the last part. If we didn’t see a progressive rise in emotional intelligence throughout history, then it would be a large contributor to mankind not existing anymore on a hyperbolic level. On a base level, Gen Z (of which I am not a part of) have consistently shown they are aware of and taking ownership of their own emotions and how it impacts others around them and the wider world. My generation downwards just gets inanely upset by them wanting to be referred to as ‘them’ and so on and so forth.

On point, Dele has clearly taken a big step forwards in ownership of his actions guided by trauma and addiction and had probably been fully honest with himself for the first time in his life. It’s an admirable path he’s taking to talk openly about this to help himself and others.
 
Grays_1890 said:
I'm not going to single Jose out for his downfall because as much as I dont like the bloke that would not be fair. However as i said yesterday, all these so called master manipulators and mind fame expert managers probably need to tone it down with their reverse psychology, slating in public for a reaction and all the little tricks you hear about over the years with this idea it will get the best out of people. We are in an age where it doesn't work and as I said yesterday, manager are not qualified psychologists beyond their own egos.

Along with the press and fans who should move away from making harmful assumptions about private lives and stick to just talking about the facts and performances.

For me this should be a watershed moment where people reflect and look a second harder at why something might be happening rather than making swift assumptions and think something else might be at play.
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I don't blame Jose to be honest. Like @Gazza Dazzla says, Dele's descent started long before he arrived. By the CL Final, he was a shadow of his former self. In fact, he had a little purple patch under Jose for the first month or two. It's also worth noting that Jose called him lazy, which was unnecessary, but he did later apologise for saying it. What Dele said affected him the most was being left out of the team. You can't blame Jose for that - Dele's form was terrible at the time and a manager's only thought when picking a team should be to pick the 11 lads who he thinks stand the best chance of winning. The criticism Jose is getting is misplaced for me.

There is a wider point here though. How often do you hear, and I've seen it on here as much as anywhere else, "these lads need someone to come in and give them some home truths rather than be mollycoddled. They're too soft." Poch took a lot of criticism for "not calling out" underperformers. Guess what? It's not always the best approach. In fact, it rarely is. These lads are people, not robots. People respond better to a bit of empathy and understanding rather than having someone "telling them what's what". Not that criticism isn't sometimes required but it can't just be what amounts to the gratuitous abuse that a lot of football fans seem to advocate.
 
The interview showed that Dele has obviously been carrying a huge load on his shoulders for much of his life. It's maybe a bit chicken-and-egg as to whether it was his troubles surfacing that led to his footballing drop-off, or whether it was injuries and his footballing drop-off that led to his troubles surfacing. But regardless, given that he was carrying, and hiding, this burden for so long, it's highly likely that at some point in his life things would have come to a head. Jose may (or may not) have been one catalyst of many along the way. One thing that was clear in the interview is that rehab has taught (or told) Dele that he has to accept responsibility and not blame anyone else for his actions and choices.
 
Not to conflate the seriousness of Dele issues and sleeping pills but there is alot being spoken about today about the widespread use of them because they tapper off the use of high caffeine supplements being used to maximise performance, added to that the mix of KO times especially late night fixtures where the issues is magnified
 
Grays_1890 said:
Not to conflate the seriousness of Dele issues and sleeping pills but there is alot being spoken about today about the widespread use of them because they tapper off the use of high caffeine supplements being used to maximise performance, added to that the mix of KO times especially late night fixtures where the issues is magnified
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When there were rumours a couple of years back about a PL player being addicted to sleeping tablets, the Athletic ran an article about their prevalence in the game, especially in lower leagues (due in part to more fixture congestion iirc). I don't have an Athletic sub anymore but if someone here does, the article might still be available. It was an interesting read, and certainly opened my eyes to how normal it was. Actually as I am typing I think it wasn't sleeping pills per se, but some similar kind of relaxant drug, can't remember the details but that would fit with what you say about negating the effects of the caffeine supplements.
 
Glenda's Legs said:
When there were rumours a couple of years back about a PL player being addicted to sleeping tablets, the Athletic ran an article about their prevalence in the game, especially in lower leagues (due in part to more fixture congestion iirc). I don't have an Athletic sub anymore but if someone here does, the article might still be available. It was an interesting read, and certainly opened my eyes to how normal it was. Actually as I am typing I think it wasn't sleeping pills per se, but some similar kind of relaxant drug, can't remember the details but that would fit with what you say about negating the effects of the caffeine supplements.
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You have to wonder if player safeguarding on mental and physical health goes any further than them being paid alot.

This is an interesting read https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/66199285
 
Glenda's Legs said:
The interview showed that Dele has obviously been carrying a huge load on his shoulders for much of his life. It's maybe a bit chicken-and-egg as to whether it was his troubles surfacing that led to his footballing drop-off, or whether it was injuries and his footballing drop-off that led to his troubles surfacing. But regardless, given that he was carrying, and hiding, this burden for so long, it's highly likely that at some point in his life things would have come to a head. Jose may (or may not) have been one catalyst of many along the way. One thing that was clear in the interview is that rehab has taught (or told) Dele that he has to accept responsibility and not blame anyone else for his actions and choices.
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I commented above that I felt his admission of hiding his problems was perhaps the biggest revelation. And yes. Accepting responsibility is the main component. But the environment you're in is everything. And the bosses you have can tilt a balance. Worth remembering that at the age of 6 he was molested, at age 7 he was being sent to a 'dicipline camp'...think about that connotation in a kid's mind.
 
thfcsteff said:
I commented above that I felt his admission of hiding his problems was perhaps the biggest revelation. And yes. Accepting responsibility is the main component. But the environment you're in is everything. And the bosses you have can tilt a balance. Worth remembering that at the age of 6 he was molested, at age 7 he was being sent to a 'dicipline camp'...think about that connotation in a kid's mind.
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It's absolutely no different to a manager saying a player should have a pain killing injection because he is a key player rather than looking at the human long term issues and actually protecting those. Shortermism has taken a grip of the game and the more the cracks open the more it's becomes evident.

As I said yesterday these managers who have no more than barstool psychology degrees who think it's ok to discredit players in public for a "reaction" and get defended for doing so because they have won a few trophies. To hell with the trail of destruction left behind and the long term mental state of the players or the long term press impact of doing so (See Dele and the lazy tag).
 
thfcsteff said:
Thing is mate, there are people on this forum who laugh at the notion. How much 'lemon and auras insults' flimflam did Poch get? As a society we have a long long way to go in terms of really seeing mental health as a priority. It is so stupid...if there is ONE condition above all that can mess with a career, it is mental health.
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100% mate,
 
Kandi1977 said:
There needs to be a massive change from fans and especially the media, in what is written about people, and how they are portrayed. Crouch is another example of a player that was constantly abused, and for him it was because of how he looked.
https://twitter.com/x/status/1680135612903374848
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That is just horrific. People can be such bastards.

Peter Crouch scored 22 goals in 42 appearances for his country, probably more than what those numbskulls have ever achieved in their sad lives.
 
afsoc4life said:
I hear Dele and I appreciate his challenges in life. I am Nigerian and have a bit more insight so I can challenge some aspects especially his stay in Nigeria.

Dele was from a fairly wealthy family in Nigeria. Is he saying his sexual abuse, drug dealer time came when he was in Nigeria?
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You say he was from a wealthy family but none of that wealth trickled down to him. He lived with his mum on an estate in Milton Keynes. His father only started to take a serious interest In Dele after he started playing football professionally.
 
I feel the club only trains youth but don't develop them. If I were running thfc I'd be offering mandatory sports psychology and self improvement courses like how they do in the private sector.

Back to Dele interview there was a part where Neville tried to probe him about his party boy image more recently but was shut out by Dele.

I mean Dele wasn't hiding the fact on.social media that he was obsessed about fashion, spending lots at clubs and hanging around with questionable company. I was hoping for him to talk around that time of his life coincided with his inability to bounce back but will cut him some slack due to the revelations about his childhood trauma. Maybe it will all come out in a book one day.

Also kudos for Everton in supporting him recently and now through this.




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metalgear said:
I feel the club only trains youth but don't develop them. If I were running thfc I'd be offering mandatory sports psychology and self improvement courses like how they do in the private sector.

Back to Dele interview there was a part where Neville tried to probe him about his party boy image more recently but was shut out by Dele.

I mean Dele wasn't hiding the fact on.social media that he was obsessed about fashion, spending lots at clubs and hanging around with questionable company. I was hoping for him to talk around that time of his life coincided with his inability to bounce back but will cut him some slack due to the revelations about his childhood trauma. Maybe it will all come out in a book one day.

Also kudos for Everton in supporting him recently and now through this.

Sent from my SM-S918B using Fapatalk
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That may in part be due to him not being quite ready to talk, but feeling forced into it to keep ahead of the tabloids. He is probably still processing a whole load of things.

One thing that did strike me from the interview was him saying he had spent 6 weeks in rehab. That isn't actually very long. Maybe he was already over the sleeping pills and it was more therapy than breaking an addiction, but I hope it was enough, or that he is having follow-up counselling.

And as for Everton - yes, good on them. I think Dyche could be good for Dele, although it has to be a two-way thing. Trippier speaks highly of Dyche being instrumental in turning him away from his drinking lifestyle, albeit Trippier was at a much earlier stage of his career at that point and it was more overindulgence than addiction (I believe).
 
NaijaSpurs said:
You say he was from a wealthy family but none of that wealth trickled down to him. He lived with his mum on an estate in Milton Keynes. His father only started to take a serious interest In Dele after he started playing football professionally.
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I don't know enough about the family to positively or negatively affirm your points in your post. You need to note the comparative wealth levels in Nigeria and the UK. The patterns I see suggest that Dele was indeed from a well to do family. The maturity and child raising ability of the parents don't negate that.
 
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