Here's what's worth considering in trying to guess who, from amongst the Fortune 50, might be the naming rights sponsor for MegaLane.
If the NFL is to be part of the new stadium's agenda, then the naming rights value rises to a whole new level and brings in all sorts of unlikely partners. You'd be getting plugs throughout the NFL and Premier League season, wherever both brands of football are followed. And that's a damn big footprint. Let's speculate, shall we? Firms with names bolded are my pick as candidates.
Fortune 50 - - - - - - Likelihood of sponsoring MegaLane
1. Walmart - Extremely unlikely. Partly owned by Arsenalist and St. Louis Lambs owner Stan Kronic.
2. Exxon Mobil - I see dead sea birds. I hear Gordon Lightfoot singing of maritime disaster. I can't see them in this deal.
3. Chevron - Another US petro-giant. Would be confused constantly with ManU's shirt sponsor.
4. Berkshire Hathaway -A Warren Buffet plaything. Amongst the holdings a stadium could be named for - Fruit of the Loom, Heinz, American Express, Dairy Queen and Coca-Cola. Pick yer poison, pardner.
5. Apple - Right sort of company, great bang for the bucks. Could you stand to see a ****erel standing atop a shiny green Granny Smith?
6. Phillips 66 - Another Yankee petro-giant.
7. General Motors - They've already parked their bus up at Old Trafford.
8. Ford Motor Co. - Or as Americans pronounce it - Fo-wurrd. No. They've already got Ford Field in Detroit. Major plant closings and job cuts in Europe. Not popular.
9. General Electric - All sorts of possibilities. Olympic and golf sponsorships. Cool blue logo.
10. Valero - US petro and gas giant. Adios, vaquero.
11. AT&T - US communications giant, already in big-time with Dallas Cowboys. Line's busy on this one.
12. CVS Caremark - US pharmacists(chemists). Ethical. Stopping sales of tobacco. Doesn't fill the prescription for Spurs.
13. Fannie Mae - Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round. And maybe do up a mortgage for Daniel Levy. Erm, no.
14. UnitedHealth Group - Name's a killer, for starters. Mind you, health insurer might appeal to stressed Spurs fans.
15. McKesson - Drugs, man. Good drugs. Hard to see how they get a buzz out of this sort of sponsorship.
16. Verizon - America's largest wireless carrier. Dread red logo. They'd call the place The VeriZone. Already sponsor Washington NBA barn. No signal on this one.
17. Hewlett-Packard - Hello! That computes. Deleted the shirt deal, a stadium deal's unlikely. Still, Hewlett-Packard Park has a nice ring to it, wot?
18. JP Morgan Chase - Banker's name far too reminiscent of that a r se-lovin' wannker Piers Morgan.
19. Costco - Volume, volume, turn up the volume. Wholesale giant expanding into Europe. Could work except for RED logo.
20. Express Scripts - Hard to see how a drug plan management firm gets value for this. Well, without actually taking the drugs.
21. Bank of America - North Carolinians sobbed when BoA snatched the name away from historic Ericsson Stadium in Charlotte, home of the Panthers.
22. Cardinal Healf - Better dead than red. Nuf said.
23. IBM - Numbers add up. Right sort of company, worldwide presence, blue colour scheme. Gittin' snugly with Apple, too.
24. Kroger - Ohio-based grocery giant. Fresh fruit and veg in Spurs food concessions? Not buying it.
25. Marathon Petroleum - Ohio-based petrol giant. Outta gas in London.
26. Citigroup - NYC banking giant earned $13.2 billion in profit for 2013. Baseball stadium sponsor for the New Yawk Metropolitans. A strike against.
27. ArcherDanielsMidland - US food processing giant. A tough one to swallow.
28. AmerisourceBergen - Drug dealers. Legit drug dealers. Not high enough to sponsor Spurs.
29. Wells Fargo - Fast money. Two-timin' US arena sponsor - In Philadelphia, home of the stinkin' NHL Flyers, the other in Des Moines, Iowa. Haven't told one about the other.
30. Boeing - Plane Janes. Already sponsor Boeing Field. OK, so it's an airport. Still, the NFL teams would have to fly to London. Could work.
31. Proctor&Gamble - Could be a player. Vast array of consumer products to link with. Major sponsor at recent World Cup. We'd all have clean shiny hair and bright white teeth.
32. Freddie Mac - From hangin' out on the corner of a Tom Waits song to major financial wheel. Not bloody likely.
33. Home Depot - US home reno giant. Owner Arthur Blank owns NFL's Atlanta Falcons, MLS new franchise, long time MLS and NASCAR sponsor. Definite could be.
34. Microsoft - The Microsoft MegaLane. Lovely ring to it. Ownership in MLS monsters Seattle. Great selling job by Clint Dempsey on our behalf. Would be lovely. Possible.
35. Amazon.com - Welcome to the jungle. Ambitious kings of on-line entrepreneurship. We'd sure shift shirts in a hurry. No chance.
36. Target - US retail giant. Tripped over the border trying to flog it's cheap - in every way - merchandise into Canada. Not wanted with that red-white bullseye logo.
37. Walgreen - American drug store (chemists) chain. No.
38. WellPoint - US health insurer. No.
39. Johnson&Johnson - Big dingdongs in baby oil. And shampoo. And pain relief tablets. Doubtful a stadium in Nor Flondon will make them bigger.
40. Amer. Ins. Grp - We'd have AIG on the stadium and fellow insurers AIA on our shirts. Someone might suspect vowel play.
41. State Farm Ins. - 'Like a good neighbour, State Farm is there' sing the ads. Yeah, they're there. Way over there doing US college sports. Just not in Haringey.
42. Met Life - Metropolitan Life fund the largest stadium sponsorship deal in the world, just outside NYC. They don't need another.
43. Pepsi - Active in major US sports sponsorships. NASCAR, Denver arena deal. Could see them being involved.
44. Comcast - Big players in US TV and cable distribution. Very involved in US sports. Hard to see how London stadium deal works for them.
45. United Technologies - We're not big on anything named United. Not a good fit.
46. Google - Stinking rich because we're too damned lazy to pick up a book. No track record in sports.
47. ConocoPhillips - Petroleum giant would view Haringey regeneration as housing for the oil rig crews that will commence drilling in Hackney Marshes. Nope.
48. Dow Chemical - We'd wind up with Magnus Pyke as our manager. Autosport sponsors, but hard to see how this would fit.
49. Caterpillar - Makers of mighty machines, sponsors a NASCAR racer. Can't see this working with Spurs.
50. UPS - Another United name. Money out the ying-yang. Good fit given Spurs UPS and downs.
Other potential sponsors beyond the top 50.
115. Nike - Great fit, no pun. If there's two teams housed in the stadium, a great promo vehicle for Nike. Just look how they outfit their hometown teams at Univ. of Oregon.
85. 21st Century Fox - Rupert Murdoch's communications and entertainment giant. Various components could benefit from a promotional boost.
106. McDonalds - Big time US sports sponsor. Despite media criticism of its products, still throws big money at sports.
you just know it
