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The poo & guff thread...

Is it normal to play solitaire whilst having a dump? And is it normal to get so used to playing solitaire while having a dump that you cannot unless you're playing solitaire? And is it acceptable to leave a fold up card table and a square metre of green baize in the loo between dumps?
 
Gordinho said:
Is it normal to play solitaire whilst having a dump? And is it normal to get so used to playing solitaire while having a dump that you cannot unless you're playing solitaire? And is it acceptable to leave a fold up card table and a square metre of green baize in the loo between dumps?
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I think it's utterly, utterly admirable?
 
If we are questioning what's normal, is it normal to sit with the bottom of your shirt pulled over the top of your head to create a morph suit type effect and to then sit there like it until you've finished your poo? I think I might be alone on this one.
 
Dayo said:
If we are questioning what's normal, is it normal to sit with the bottom of your shirt pulled over the top of your head to create a morph suit type effect and to then sit there like it until you've finished your poo? I think I might be alone on this one.
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:ross::ross::ross:

Oh christ, a NEW HERO arrives. Mate, i f ucking love you!!!!!
 
Ok ive just done a perfect dump, it flew out of my arse like a bullet from a snipers rifle..

Hardly any splash or wiping needed, only things is now I cant stop farting lliterally 2 or 3 a minute hahaha, obviously the poo tubes are now more spacious
 
markysimmo said:
ok ive just done a perfect dump, it flew out of my arse like a bullet from a snipers rifle..

Hardly any splash or wiping needed, only things is now i cant stop farting lliterally 2 or 3 a minute hahaha, obviously the poo tubes are now more spacious
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ttiuwp
 
Twice in the last week i've been on the throne that long that it's given me pins and needles in my legs. Trying to wipe your arse an not fall over is quite the challenge.
 
Since that ginormous brick the other week I am yet to slide one out that has required more than 2 wipes. Very pleasing.
 
Was doing Jiu Jitsu earlier and was so tempted to fart the whole way through. Had to let off little ones when I wasn't with my training partner to relieve the pressure
 
A nice Christmas Candy Cane

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Dayo said:
Twice in the last week i've been on the throne that long that it's given me pins and needles in my legs. Trying to wipe your arse an not fall over is quite the challenge.
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I swear i almost broke my ankle coz of this! My pins and needles set in big time and when I stood up to pull my pants up my legs gave way!! Now i have to sit there even longer just till the numbness dies off and I can walk again
 
Dayo said:
Twice in the last week i've been on the throne that long that it's given me pins and needles in my legs. Trying to wipe your arse an not fall over is quite the challenge.
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Ahh so you're a stander uperer
 
Dayo said:
Twice in the last week i've been on the throne that long that it's given me pins and needles in my legs. Trying to wipe your arse an not fall over is quite the challenge.
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I used to do that as a kid, lock myself in with a good book and spend hours there. Myself, Julian, dingdong, Anne, Georgina and not forgetting Timmy are no stranger to a two hour lock in which used to culminate with me hitting the deck as I tried to stand up.
 
Charliedup said:
I can never understand anyone who still sits there whilst wiping.. How uncomfortable is that??
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This. Who wants to sit there & wipe brick all over their gonad*s. Unless they lean forward so they can get in behind at which point you may aswell stand up & get in there properly
 
Mumorn said:
Ahh so you're a stander uperer
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More of a lean forward squat but when one leg doesn't want to work it feels like you're trying to wipe your arse with one foot in a lift.

Going down Sir? Yes, I think I am.
 
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