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How Do You Cope With Defeat?

A

ArcspacE

Banned
Over the years, as part of any Spurs fan's timeline - we've had to deal with so many disappointments and heartbreak last-minute defeats.

I remember back in May, I felt like crying after Bayern Munich lost the final and we blew 3rd in the PL with what was arguably our best squad in nearly 2 decades. Why always us, some might say.

Again - Saturday proved to be more of the same bottle-job inevitable defeat humiliation and subsequent crowing from mindless Goons.

How does everyone cope with defeat on a personal level? I tend to feel pretty down for the rest of the day (sometimes even more, depending on the magnitude of defeat) or go out for some exercise in order to clear my mind. Used to affect me less in the past but lately I feel greater sorrow in a bad result and tend to become semi-agressive during games to the extend of throwing small objects at the wall
 
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I don't really dwell on it too much - tend to look towards the next game and try to think in a positive manner. If I'm actually at the game and we lose, then it's slightly different. Losing against Chelsea last season in The FA Cup semi-final was probably the worst I've ever taken a Spurs loss (and was worse than the Champions League final that they won). The journey back home was horrible and the rest of the week I was down. ****s.

Usually I'm quite good at dealing with a loss, the best thing about football is that there's mostly a chance for redemption further on in the season.
 
I think sometime 3 or 4 years I stopped caring as much, probably around the time Ramos got fired. Felt Redknapp was the right appointment at the time and really enjoyed the season we qualified for the CL, but there have just been too many "failures". Combined with the emergence of Chelsea and Emirates Marketing Project, it just doesn't get to me in the same way any more. You always have that feeling it's just not meant to be (see semi finals in the FA cup).
 
Its getting easier as it goes on. But I still am down for a few hours. I go through my head we should have won , and if only this. But I always know there will be defeats.

I do not come on here much, and I do not watch MOTD or many other games. I dont read newsnow much until a good 2 or 3 days after defeat.

But as the years go by I realise that football is only a game and so there are more things in life worth worrying about or enjoying. Then again, im single so have loads of time to myself and for once I have not missed a premier league game so far at WHL!
 
Just like Jordinho, I just don't dwell on it at all anymore. Afterall, theres NOTHING I could have done to change the outcome of the game. If we lose, we lose. And then I think to myself do the players REALLY care they've lost? Defeat would certainly be easy to take if I was going home to my mansion or penthouse in my Ferrari and having a nice evening with my Brazilian lingerie model fiance.
 
Depends on the opponent or the performance sometimes
Have to admit my expectations are lower if we are playing United,Chelsea,City,etc: The loss still hurts but not as much as I am already kind of expecting it
Whereas Wigan at home, Blackpool away. Games like that where I thought we should win, they hurt. If its a home game, tend not to even speak until we pass Milton Keynes on the M1...and the wife knows it!
 
When we win it's absolutely brilliant. When we lose, it's just a load of overpaid mercenaries I've never ever met in my life from all over the world running about chasing a bag of wind. :lol:
 
depends on the circumstances and what i expect going into it

the chelsea munich game was a forgone conclusion, it didn't bother me

saturday on the other hand, was heartbreaking
 
Really doesn't bother me. What used to get to me was Monday morning back at work where the gobby idiots would spend all weekend thinking up something witty to say and then either call me, email me or drop by the office just to say it. I wouldn't do it back to them when their team lost.

Now I am in an environment where people don't care, the game never even crops up in conversation and no one makes snide comments. Idiots on forums and twitter wind me up, that includes the journalists as well, but again it isn't really worth responding to. Occasionally I still bite but not that often.
 
I don't care nearly as much as i used to. Don't really get sad about it but what i tend to do is avoid all highlights/goals of the game and other games for that weekend.

Man i remember the times i felt like i was going to have a heart attack during a spurs game. If for instance we were 1-0 up i'd be absolutley bricking the last few minutes. I actually remember a specific game vs Middlesborough where we were 3-2 up with a few minutes to go (the year berbatov scored a beauty). I was at my uni halls listening and i went for a tinkle. Whilst tinkling i nearly blacked out twice because my heart kept fudging beating..it was scary brick.

My mum was convinced spurs would be what eventually kills me:lol:
 
Depends on the manner of the defeat, the nature of the performance and how much fight the team showed. For example I was furious after we lost 5-2 to Arsenal last season, but even though the scoreline was the same this year I wasn't angry at all because I felt we showed spirit and fight against adversity and the Manager made all the right judgement calls.
 
You stop caring. To an extent, the bludgeonings of fate Spurs fans have suffered over the past few years (be it the norovirus debacle, the the innumerable transfer sagas leading to no concrete action, the two points from eight games, the loss to Portmouth in the FA Cup semi, Crouch's red card at the Bernabeu, failure to finish fourth that season, and then the compendium of disasters last season) means that a lot of fans simply stop caring all that much what happens. There's only so much despair you can take, so much hope you can have shattered before you retreat into an affected disinterest in the subject at hand to prevent further disappointments.

When we were bad, every game was fun, because we were never sure-fire winners, and often losers. Hope was tempered with foreboding, and tinged with optimism.

Now, when we're actually good, we throw games away and stuff up every conceivable opportunity. It hurts.

My method's simple; rationalize it and move on. At the moment, I've accepted that we can't compete with the big boys, that AVB has a terrifyingly hard job ahead of him, and that Levy won't spend a penny beyond what is necessary to keep the side afloat.
So expectation disappears, and I approach each game with a sort of disaffected curiosity. But when we go one-nil up, when we're bossing the game, when we're full of vigour and dash...then hope comes flooding back. And then it gets crushed, a la Arsenal on Saturday.

So just rationalize it, and move on. Particularly heavy defeats require heavy rationalizing, which is best accomplished with a bottle of something or other and a smoky bar stool somewhere.

One day we'll be okay, one day. That stadium is what keeps me going, keeps me believing that our future's more promising than it's made out to be. It is the single most important thing to our future ambitions. I hope to GHod it comes soon.
 
Water of a ducks back for me but as Push n Run says it depends in reality.

Man bricky at the Etihad last year - ruined me for a week. Because we were so close to winning and we lost it. I dreamt of battling it out for the title and really did think that result was crucial.

5-2 last season hurt way more than this season I guess because this season we were down to ten men and gave it a good go. Maybe if we were 11 men and lost that may have hurt a bit more.

Basically none of the results this season has filled me with joy and optimism or hurt me. I guess just not as excited this year and have much less 'emotional' investment this season compared to the previous two or three.
 
When it's a last minute goal or a team we should be beating comfortably - not very well at all.

The rest - Meh. Too many false dawns throughout the years to really give a brick.

I was more annoyed on Saturday that I didn't get onto betvictor in time to bet on the scum winning when it was 0-1 than I actually was with the defeat as you knew it was inevitable.
 
Every defeat feels like it breaks my heart and then I kick myself cos I feel like I should be used to it by now. After that, the missus gets told to fcuk off and leave me alone to sulk for a while before I get back to normal and up for the next game.
 
Richlee81 said:
Every defeat feels like it breaks my heart and then I kick myself cos I feel like I should be used to it by now. After that, the missus gets told to fcuk off and leave me alone to sulk for a while before I get back to normal and up for the next game.
Click to expand...

Probably the most truthful answer so far! \o/
 
I always remember the wise words of a certain James Peter Greaves, who once famously said that "football is a funny old game". I still sulk mind you, but I always try to be philosophical in both defeat and victory.
 
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