The poo & guff thread...

[markysimmo]

Read more: https://t.co/1pC1eJxKoH

— LADbible (@ladbible) April 6, 2022

 

[markysimmo]

I think my Mrs and eldest stand up to take a dump
The skids they leave in the pan are just baffling in terms of how many and how spread out they are

 

[markysimmo]

The little things crack me up

Mrs was sitting on the patio
I dropped an enormous fart and some of our neighbours all looked up hahaha they thought it was her

 

[markysimmo]

https://metro.co.uk/2015/09/04/man-...DEKk_mAvenP7yyJEIKYt5XxVXn6xzjmyHMvWOLpcxPC9k

 

[markysimmo]

Read more: https://t.co/cEEk93PIs8

— LADbible (@ladbible) September 5, 2022

 

[markysimmo]

As a mark of respect I will not be farting whilst the National period of mourning is taking place

 

[Danishfurniturelover]

I can literally smell the onions I had for dinner last night in my farms this morning.

Would think I had a cold or something the way I am farming this morning.

 

[ricky2tricky4city]

I can literally smell the onions I had for dinner last night in my farms this morning.

Would think I had a cold or something the way I am farming this morning.

I know life is tough for farmers, but your own faeces for muck spreading....whatever next.

 

[thfcsteff]

Read more: https://t.co/cEEk93PIs8

— LADbible (@ladbible) September 5, 2022

My word!

 

[markysimmo]

I hardly fart anymore
I think I'm seriously ill hahaha

 

[markysimmo]

One Christmas many years ago I placed one of my turds in an empty shoe box. I then proceeded to wrap the show box in wrapping paper and jumped on a bus where I left the gift on an empty seat. I've imagined the horror on the face of the person that took it home for years and years

— Fesshole🧻 (@fesshole) December 5, 2022

 

[markysimmo]

 

[markysimmo]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/aomwC2jrbe

— Tha Fackin Daddy (@ThaFackinDaddy) December 17, 2022

 

[markysimmo]

I was once rimmed whilst desperately trying to hold in a big fart. His tongue 'broke the seal' causing me to fart directly into his mouth. I'm not sure what was worse: my embarrassment, or my revulsion at the fact he appeared to enjoy it.

— Fesshole🧻 (@fesshole) December 22, 2022

 

[Kandi1977]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Ck2b7rzqjJY/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

 

[Denmark Spur]

 

[markysimmo]

My eldest smells like she has been eating dead rats, absolutely horrendous

 

[markysimmo]

Sorry, its the sprouts pic.twitter.com/cK4TYtPFL5

— 🤬Swearing Kids 𝕏 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♂️ (@SwearingKids) December 26, 2022

 

[markysimmo]

On one of my first lads trips to Spain I bought loads of oranges and ate way too many in one day; long story short I thought I was farting but shat myself; I hoped the new nickname "tango-rhea" I was given as a result wouldn't still be used but 20 years later, here we are.

— Fesshole🧻 (@fesshole) December 26, 2022

 

[markysimmo]

Like most men my white boxer shorts seldom enter the washing without the odd skid mark.The wife is fine with this however anything above that she'll refuse to wash them,when this does happen I stuff the boxers down the trouser leg and they seamlessly enter the washing machine.

— Fesshole🧻 (@fesshole) January 27, 2023