markysimmo
Johnny nice-tits
Our ten favourite Tucker quotes
• Responding to knock at his door: "Come the fudge in or fudge the fudge off."
• Tucker's Law (out-take from the Spinners & Losers special): "If some **** can fudge something up, that **** will pick the worst possible time to fudging fudge it up cause that ****'s a ****."
• Moaning about minister on the phone: "He's about as much use as a marzipan dildo."
• To a pair of rival advisors: "Laurel and fudging Hardy! Glad you could join us. Did you manage to get that piano up the stairs OK?"
• Dressing down MP, Geoff Holhurst: "You're so back-bench, you've actually fudging fallen off. You're out by the fudging bins where I put you."
• Commenting on Ben Swain's disastrous Newsnight appearance: "All these hands all over the place! You were like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra."
• gonad*ing a communications department employee: "How much fudging brick is there on the menu and what fudging flavour is it?"
• Advising minister Hugh Abbot to keep up with the zeitgeist: "You've got 24 hours to sort out your policy on EastEnders, right? Or you're for the halal butchers."
• Note passed to assistant Jamie during meeting with blue-sky thinker Julius Nicholson: "Please could you take this note, ram it up his hairy inbox and pin it to his fudging prostate."
• Admonishing junior adviser Ollie Reeder to respect government property: "Feet off the furniture you Oxbridge taco, you're not on a punt now."
