Stupid Football Quotes
Absolutely brilliant.
"I've been consistent in patches this season" - THEO WALCOTT
"I look forward to hearing from the silent majority" - ALEX McLEISH
"I haven't seen it, but it looks generous" - ARSENE WENGER
"Whoever you support, you've got that blood in your veins" - PHIL NEAL
"Paolo Di Canio is one picnic short of a hamper" - ALAN BRAZIL
"If we'd kept a clean sheet tonight, we'd have won 1-0" - STEVE COTTERILL, AFTER FOREST LOST 2-1
"They can push the bat a little bit more than others at that level" - STEVE CLARIDGE
"In the end, Rosicky initially did well" - ANDY TOWNSEND
"He's been like a fresh of breath air" - ROY KEANE
"The thing about goalscorers is that they score goals" - TONY COTTEE
"I don't want Rooney to leave these shores but if he does, I think he'll go abroad" - IAN WRIGHT
"Belgium are outside dark favourites to win the group" - IAIN DOWIE
"Six yards out and Wheater headers it over" - PAUL MERSON
"Luis Suarez is a victim of his own make-up" - MICKY QUINN
"Matt Taylor ran half the length of the field, width-wise" - IAN ABRAHAMS
"The last six games of the Invincibles season were the most pressurised, because we were under pressure" - RAY PARLOUR
"I feel sorry for Wolves at the moment but not sorry for them" - DAVID PLEAT
"Sometimes you want Obertan to open his legs and do something a bit exciting" - ALAN PARDEW
"Fernando Torres needs a new leash of life" - STAN COLLYMORE
"The game is not over until it is" - DWIGHT YORKE
"He's got a lot of self-belief in himself" - GRAHAM BEECROFT
"When Everton knock it long, they don't knock it long" - PAUL MERSON
"It's so daft it's almost stupid" - CHRIS KAMARA
"With Harry, two plus two always makes five, not three" - MILAN MANDARIC
"Alex Ferguson is speaking about Liverpool in an intimate way" - STAN COLLYMORE
"They were numerically outnumbered" - GARRY BIRTLES
"It was goalposts for jumpers" - TONY MOWBRAY
"Not to win is guttering" - MARK NOBLE
"Rolando's been given a second yellow for arguing with the life support.... er, the linesman" - CHRIS WADDLE
"One win doesn't make a swallow" - DANNY KELLY
"Reading won't have the confidence to be confident" - PAUL MERSON
"The one significant change is in fact the second significant change" - JONATHAN PEARCE
"That's put a strain on his left-hand knee" - JOHN SCALES
"However people have interpretated that is up to them" - EDDIE MITCHELL
"He's a good footballer, as in technical-wise" - TONY CASCARINO
"Jordan Henderson is a player who likes to do his business in the middle of the park" - JASON McATEER
"It's never over until somebody sings" - CLAYTON BLACKMORE
"Matty Jarvis had acres of time there" - STAN COLLYMORE
"That's exactly how you head a ball... you use your head" - RAY WILKINS
"It's an unprecedented precedent" - CLARK CARLISLE
"There's a good-feel factor about Sheffield Wednesday" - ALAN BRAZIL
"Darren Fletcher is the type of player who would walk over hot coals to play for his country, and he has done" - ANDY GRAY
"If you closed your eyes, you couldn't tell the difference between the two sides" - PHIL BROWN
"They're a little bit miss and hit" - DWIGHT YORKE
"Will Chelsea qualify with ease? I think they will, but it won't be easy" - JAMIE REDKNAPP
"Look at that roar" - NIALL QUINN
"I'll give the ref the benefit of the doubt but he's got a lot wrong" - MARK BRIGHT
"He done great to get where he got" - PAUL MERSON
"West Ham have committed 13 fouls, but they weren't fouls, they were commitment" - RAY WILKINS
"Getting picked gives you half that confidence, or 50 per cent of it" - GLENN HODDLE
"Ferdinand has been laid out by Kolarov's unfortunate followthrough" - JON CHAMPION
"I think one of these teams could win this" - ANDY TOWNSEND, BEFORE UEFA SUPER CUP FINAL
"Michael Owen will get double figures this season - or at least 10, possibly more" - GARTH CROOKS
"The Merseyside derby games are unique in the city" - BRENDAN RODGERS
"Levante have gone fourth in Serie A. If anyone can tell me what part of Italy Levante is in, please call. I've no idea" - ALAN BRAZIL
"It's like a stone rolling down a hill - it's gathering more and more moss" - GRAEME SOUNESS
"I hope to be back in management in the next future" - PAUL INCE
"I'm glad I don't have to face Coloccini, because I don't think I would touch many balls" - DEMBA BA
"John Terry wears his shirt on his sleeve" - RAY PARLOUR
"Roberto Martinez's belief is unbelievable" - DAVE WHELAN
"The butterflies will be jangling" - GABBY LOGAN
"Cahill went off, then Botswana came on" - PAUL ELLIOTT
“Shay Given is champing on the door to be involved this weekend" - ALEX McLEISH
"Bayern will have the added advantage of playing in their own stadium - that's like a home game for them" - PAUL ELLIOTT
"Robben and Ribery have what you call a fisty relationship" - ULI KOHLER
"Football's all about yesterday, it's all about now" - PAUL MERSON
"Fulham haven't had a shot on target, which is probably why they aren't in the goals" - TONY COTTEE
"Neither team has really taken the baton by the scruff of the neck and put their stamp on it" - NIGEL WORTHINGTON
"It's all hands to the decks now" - NIALL QUINN
"Ozil could find the needle in a haystack with his sense of smell" - RAY HUDSON
"Too often this season, Sunderland have left themselves with an uphill mountain" - GRAHAM COURTNEY
"The problem is nobody knows what the problem is" - DAVID CRAIG
"They're not that very good, Napoli" - PAUL MERSON
"The pass for Wright-Phillips was overweight" - ALAN SHEARER
"Mario Balotelli is like Marmite, you either love him or hate him. Me, I'm between" - JOE ROYLE
"Fernando Torres needs to be loved on a regular basis" - MARK LAWRENSON
"He went in with his shuds stowing" - GARY NEVILLE
"He could have done one of three things. He didn't do either" - GORDON STRACHAN
"Emirates Marketing Project are entering the eye of the tiger" - MARTIN KEOWN
"You've got a little spring in your step in your voice" - MICKY QUINN
“Is it still called Calcutta? I thought it was Bombay these days" - CHIS KAMARA
"The paint is hardly dry on Neil Warnock's sacking" - JIM WHITE
"In the FA Cup, you always have to expect the unexpectable" - ROBERTO DI MATTEO
"It's now much more 50-50 in favour of Everton" - IAIN DOWIE
"Sheffield Wednesday are third in the table. You couldn't be any higher" - IAN ABRAHAMS
"There was nothing wrong with his timing, he was just a bit late" - MARK BRIGHT
"That's literally opening a team up and putting them to the sword" - NIALL QUINN
"When you're there, it's one of those 'I was there' moments" - TONY GALE
"He's the player who can unlock the key" - STUART ROBSON
"John Cross is feeling very boyish about Arsenal's chances" - ALAN BRAZIL
"Southampton have always been at the top, apart from the seasons when they weren't" - RAY PARLOUR
"It was end-to-end stuff at both ends" - JACK DEARDEN
"Mistakes will be made, make no mistake" - GARTH CROOKS
"There are so many sides down there at the top" - MARK SAGGERS
"He's sort of facing the goal with his chest" - LEE DIXON
"Emirates Marketing Project feel like they've been hardly done by" - NIGEL PEARSON
"Ramires is involved in everything he does" - GRAEME LE SAUX
"There's only one person gets you sacked and that's the fans" - PAUL MERSON
"Scotland v Wales will be like a Cup tie" - ALAN BRAZIL
"Most goals are scored between the posts" - JAMIE REDKNAPP
"Where do you sit on young players, Martin Keown?" - JONATHAN PEARCE
"The proverbial is hitting the flan at the moment" - ALVIN MARTIN
"I've only played for Watford, so I'm called a one-man club" - LLOYD DOYLEY
"There's always been a fierce rivalry between Spurs and Tottenham" - DAVID PLEAT
"Martin Kelly has been booked for a foul on everything" - GRAHAM BEECROFT
"Didier Drogba's just a big loveable lump. Graham Norton seemed to get inside him last night" - CLIVE TYLDESLEY
"England are dangerous black horses" - GARETH SOUTHGATE
"He's 23 years of old" - MICKY QUINN
"Ji-Sung Park is probably not as young as he was when he arrived at Old Trafford all those years ago" - RAY HOUGHTON
"Sheikh Mansour is putting his money and his mouth where his mouth is" - STAN COLLYMORE
"Arsene Wenger has got to unlock the purse strings" - JOHN MOTSON
"Suarez's hunger for the game seems unquenchable" - ALAN SMITH
"It's pouring down and the ref is enjoying his moment in the sun" - ADRIAN CHILES
"We have this mentality of going into every game just thinking about the next game" - SHANE LONG
"To concede so late is a bit of a pill to swallow" - LEAM RICHARDSON
"Defoe was level and anyone who says otherwise is picking hairs" - JOHN MOTSON
"The sun is squinting into the keepers' eyes" - JOHN TEMPLE
"Martin O'Neill has literally lifted Sunderland out of the mire" - PHIL THOMPSON
"We are talking negativitively about them" - RAY WILKINS
"Hopefully Andy Carroll has only tweeted his hamstring" - SAM ALLARDYCE
"Bobby Robson is Bobby Robson and will always be Bobby Robson" - FREDDY SHEPHERD
"Three minutes to go - this is where Arsenal normally get a last-minute goal" - SIR ALAN SUGAR
“Saudi Sportswashing Machine are absolutely besotted by injuries" - MARK LAWRENSON
"That kind of natural understanding doesn't develop naturally" - KENNY CUNNINGHAM
"The directors of the club are in dialect with the protesters" - STEVE KEAN
"Frank Lampard is engaged to Christine Brinkley" - MICKY QUINN
"Martin Jol has put his hands on his heads" - RAY PARLOUR
"When David Beckham leaves the game, it will take a very special player to come in and carry the mantelpiece" - SOPHIE NICOLAU
"Arsenal's defence will be a worry going forward" - KENNY CUNNINGHAM
"The half-time whistle blows and I have one word for you: Absolutely brilliant" - SAM MATTERFACE
"And now over to Barnet for another flash from Jacqui Oatley" - IAN ROBERTSON
"Bolton have won just three of their last two games" - IAN ABRAHAMS
"As the saying goes, 'you don't fix something if it isn't broken'" - PAUL MERSON
"They gave the Serbian FA a poultry fine" - ALAN BRAZIL
“There was nothing wrong with his timing - he was just a bit late" - MARK BRIGHT
"Most of Michael Owen's goals have come in the past" - DAN WALKER
"I'd love to get to the final of Masterchef. I'd feel almost as if I've failed if I didn't" - DANNY MILLS
"They played Arsenal and got their backsides felt" - CRAIG BURLEY
"Steven Fletcher cost a very lot of money" - CHRIS WADDLE
"They're being asked to play three games a week... mentally, they can't ascertain to do that" - BOBBY GOULD
"The more you lose, the more you don't win" - ALEX McLEISH
"They should slowly integrate them out of the club" - MICK QUINN
"That's certainly lit the litmus paper" - BRADLEY ALLEN
"Arsenal owe a great deal of debtitude to the keeper" - MATT LE TISSIER
"Abbiati sticks out a lanky arm to save that" - ALAN SMITH
"Reading have got the good factor" - RAY PARLOUR
"Andy Carroll will cause anyone problems and I don't see a problem in that" - ALAN SHEARER
"Arsenal need crispier passing" - SAM MATTERFACE
"I'd go back to Leeds at any time, but not right now" - GUS POYET
"Luiz nearly missed an open header" - ALAN SMITH
"Dzeko scored against QPR to set up that climax at the finish" - NIALL QUINN
"Fernando Torres is playing out of his face at the moment" - TOMMY LANGLEY
"Swansea's right back, Rangel Angel, will be putting the crosses in" - PAUL MERSON
"If Arsenal don't finish third, they might not finish in third place" - ALVIN MARTIN
"Bogdan should be playing for whatever country he comes from" - PHIL THOMPSON
“It's the old adage - what stays on tour, happens on tour" - IAN ABRAHAMS
"It's not always plain sailing , especially when you're flying" - BRENDAN RODGERS
"Chelsea have to play Sunday night - the FA won't bulge" – ALAN BRAZIL
"That was a great finish, but you could say it wasn't a great finish because it didn't go in" - CHRIS WADDLE
"The Carling Cup ought to get a little more credit than it deserves" - MARK CHAPMAN
"It's six of one, half a dozen of the other at least" - STAN COLLYMORE
"When you play for England you're all representing that curry... er, your country" - JAMIE REDKNAPP
"The Bolton back four didn't have a cat on earth's chance" - STAN COLLYMORE
"If you don't question the officials' role then you've got to ask what they are doing" - ARSENE WENGER
"Scottish football needs a kick in the arm" - CHARLIE NICHOLAS
"I watched the United v Reading game with my jaw literally hitting the floor" - IAN WRIGHT
"Robin van Persie is 29 years of old" - SAM MATTERFACE
"It was a damp squid for Liverpool" - PAUL MERSON
"In the first half, I didn't see the second half coming, that's for sure" - MICK McCARTHY
"And here goes Aguero, looking to relieve himself" - MIKE INGHAM
"Ronnie Moran had us as young boys, religiously" - PHIL THOMPSON
"Chelsea are all in blue, with their white socks" - SAM MATTERFACE
"It's looking more and more less likely" - ROBBIE FOWLER
"The FA inquiry has been my favourite buttplug from start to finish and it's not even finished" - DIETMAR HAMANN
"Santi Cazorla is two-footed" - GRAEME LE SAUX
"Samuel Eto'o is reputedly the highest-paid player in the world at £350,000 per week - that's £5,000 a day" - CLIVE TYLDESLEY
"Emirates Marketing Project have got a run of genteel games coming up" - CRAIG BURLEY
"Arsenal are in tough competition for fourth with the likes of Spurs, Everton and Arsenal" – PAUL MERSON
"With all their guns flying, Tottenham would be a threat" - GLENN HODDLE
"He's not as young as he used to be, Bobby Zamora" - GARY COTTERILL
"If we'd have scored, it would have been a different result" - TONY PULIS
"Spurs have been here before at White Hart Lane" - CLIVE TYLDESLEY
"There's a lot of work been put in that hasn't been put in" - GLENN HODDLE
"If you're not frustrated that you're not playing football then you shouldn't be playing football" - THEO WALCOTT
"They've had their moments, City, but nothing too consecrated" - CLIVE TYLDESLEY
"Are Spurs title contenders for the league? - MICKY QUINN
"If Oscar carries on like this then the world, literally, is at his oyster" - IAN ABRAHAMS
"As long as you hit the target, they're going to go in... if the keeper don't make a save" - IAN HOLLOWAY
"Football these days isn't going forwards. It's going sidewards" - BOBBY GOULD
http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/stupid-football-quotes-2012s-best-1511680
