Mental Health Discussion & Check-In Thread

[Danishfurniturelover]

talking of @Danishfurniturelover hope
You’re ok? Not seen you on here for a while

Received a message on my personal email address at the start of the week that you were asking about me.

Very kind of you.

I am well thanks, not been to China recently and in future will be having it done in America. On a multitude of peptides and my Parkinson's is not so bad, still able to drive and work.

Hit the gym a lot and eat healthy. Was in London yesterday for Clarkston a play with the wife and the beer with dinner was the first in months.

I left this site because like so much of society in the UK it is infiltrated by far left extremists.

With my new Lesbian 27 year oldfemale best friend who I meet through the wife I have become a political activist. She is a member of the pink ladies and me her and her mother who is actually 2 years younger then me are members of advance. We were up in Saudi Sportswashing Machine for the meeting and even stopped in Durham afterwards to see my son and his fiancee(Irish just like his mum my wife) who are both studying at Durham University. She is a member of Restore it is so heartening to know some of the young do not believe the poisonous lies of our biased media. But she comes from a good family, same as the wife's family over in Ireland have all come round to our way of thinking.

The wife even came on the March on the 13th of September with us and could not believe how it was reported in the press afterwards. Took a while but total vindication for me and she is now one of us.

Anyways I am up for the 3 next champions League games.

But my political activism is keeping me very busy these days. I have an event in Brighton on October the 14th with new best friend and her mum but as we booked a 4 person booth the is a spare seat if you want to come down, it is with one of the reporters from bellingcat. I intend to ask him at the end whether he is a government agent as we suspect.

So thanks for the message but apart from watching games when we are on I don't have the time to be on here and it's far to far to the left though my account is being used by others from the community to report any extremist or inciting violence posts which are then reported. Hope you don't fall foul of that.

Signing off Rayners tax consultant

 

[Grays_1890]

Received a message on my personal email address at the start of the week that you were asking about me.

Very kind of you.

I am well thanks, not been to China recently and in future will be having it done in America. On a multitude of peptides and my Parkinson's is not so bad, still able to drive and work.

Hit the gym a lot and eat healthy. Was in London yesterday for Clarkston a play with the wife and the beer with dinner was the first in months.

I left this site because like so much of society in the UK it is infiltrated by far left extremists.

With my new Lesbian 27 year oldfemale best friend who I meet through the wife I have become a political activist. She is a member of the pink ladies and me her and her mother who is actually 2 years younger then me are members of advance. We were up in Saudi Sportswashing Machine for the meeting and even stopped in Durham afterwards to see my son and his fiancee(Irish just like his mum my wife) who are both studying at Durham University. She is a member of Restore it is so heartening to know some of the young do not believe the poisonous lies of our biased media. But she comes from a good family, same as the wife's family over in Ireland have all come round to our way of thinking.

The wife even came on the March on the 13th of September with us and could not believe how it was reported in the press afterwards. Took a while but total vindication for me and she is now one of us.

Anyways I am up for the 3 next champions League games.

But my political activism is keeping me very busy these days. I have an event in Brighton on October the 14th with new best friend and her mum but as we booked a 4 person booth the is a spare seat if you want to come down, it is with one of the reporters from bellingcat. I intend to ask him at the end whether he is a government agent as we suspect.

So thanks for the message but apart from watching games when we are on I don't have the time to be on here and it's far to far to the left though my account is being used by others from the community to report any extremist or inciting violence posts which are then reported. Hope you don't fall foul of that.

Signing off Rayners tax consultant

Regardless of what you think of this site and the people on it, politics aside, good to hear you are doing well

 

[Scoopage]

Received a message on my personal email address at the start of the week that you were asking about me.

Very kind of you.

I am well thanks, not been to China recently and in future will be having it done in America. On a multitude of peptides and my Parkinson's is not so bad, still able to drive and work.

Hit the gym a lot and eat healthy. Was in London yesterday for Clarkston a play with the wife and the beer with dinner was the first in months.

I left this site because like so much of society in the UK it is infiltrated by far left extremists.

With my new Lesbian 27 year oldfemale best friend who I meet through the wife I have become a political activist. She is a member of the pink ladies and me her and her mother who is actually 2 years younger then me are members of advance. We were up in Saudi Sportswashing Machine for the meeting and even stopped in Durham afterwards to see my son and his fiancee(Irish just like his mum my wife) who are both studying at Durham University. She is a member of Restore it is so heartening to know some of the young do not believe the poisonous lies of our biased media. But she comes from a good family, same as the wife's family over in Ireland have all come round to our way of thinking.

The wife even came on the March on the 13th of September with us and could not believe how it was reported in the press afterwards. Took a while but total vindication for me and she is now one of us.

Anyways I am up for the 3 next champions League games.

But my political activism is keeping me very busy these days. I have an event in Brighton on October the 14th with new best friend and her mum but as we booked a 4 person booth the is a spare seat if you want to come down, it is with one of the reporters from bellingcat. I intend to ask him at the end whether he is a government agent as we suspect.

So thanks for the message but apart from watching games when we are on I don't have the time to be on here and it's far to far to the left though my account is being used by others from the community to report any extremist or inciting violence posts which are then reported. Hope you don't fall foul of that.

Signing off Rayners tax consultant

Good to here your well Chich, don´t ever change! The site has missed you

 

[thfcsteff]

Regardless of what you think of this site and the people on it, politics aside, good to hear you are doing well

Agreed.

 

[BrentwoodSpur]

Received a message on my personal email address at the start of the week that you were asking about me.

Very kind of you.

I am well thanks, not been to China recently and in future will be having it done in America. On a multitude of peptides and my Parkinson's is not so bad, still able to drive and work.

Hit the gym a lot and eat healthy. Was in London yesterday for Clarkston a play with the wife and the beer with dinner was the first in months.

I left this site because like so much of society in the UK it is infiltrated by far left extremists.

With my new Lesbian 27 year oldfemale best friend who I meet through the wife I have become a political activist. She is a member of the pink ladies and me her and her mother who is actually 2 years younger then me are members of advance. We were up in Saudi Sportswashing Machine for the meeting and even stopped in Durham afterwards to see my son and his fiancee(Irish just like his mum my wife) who are both studying at Durham University. She is a member of Restore it is so heartening to know some of the young do not believe the poisonous lies of our biased media. But she comes from a good family, same as the wife's family over in Ireland have all come round to our way of thinking.

The wife even came on the March on the 13th of September with us and could not believe how it was reported in the press afterwards. Took a while but total vindication for me and she is now one of us.

Anyways I am up for the 3 next champions League games.

But my political activism is keeping me very busy these days. I have an event in Brighton on October the 14th with new best friend and her mum but as we booked a 4 person booth the is a spare seat if you want to come down, it is with one of the reporters from bellingcat. I intend to ask him at the end whether he is a government agent as we suspect.

So thanks for the message but apart from watching games when we are on I don't have the time to be on here and it's far to far to the left though my account is being used by others from the community to report any extremist or inciting violence posts which are then reported. Hope you don't fall foul of that.

Signing off Rayners tax consultant

Glad you’re ok mate.

 

[SteveAWOL]

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[kb 1984]

Nothing like an early morning swim

The group of Aussie mates doing their bit to improve men's mental health

9now.nine.com.au

 

[glasgowspur]

Winter and dark nights setting in, time for a bump.

 

[SteveAWOL]

Nice to see some sunshine today after such a gloomy graey weekend… and could be worse!

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[Daisuk]

Nice to see some sunshine today after such a gloomy graey weekend… and could be worse!

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An old friend of mine lived up there for a few years (he's a biologist) and loved it. Beats me. Cold, snow, polar bears, always dark, so small, no vegetation - some people are built different.

My ten year old son is struggling with panic attacks and fatigue, doesn't want to go to school - it's rough at the moment. Trying to turn every stone, but not really finding anything that works. I go into full crisis mode and start dreading how his future will be like, considering his parents have their struggles with mental illness. I can only hope we find something eventually that will help. Feels hopeless at the moment.

 

[kb 1984]

An old friend of mine lived up there for a few years (he's a biologist) and loved it. Beats me. Cold, snow, polar bears, always dark, so small, no vegetation - some people are built different.

My ten year old son is struggling with panic attacks and fatigue, doesn't want to go to school - it's rough at the moment. Trying to turn every stone, but not really finding anything that works. I go into full crisis mode and start dreading how his future will be like, considering his parents have their struggles with mental illness. I can only hope we find something eventually that will help. Feels hopeless at the moment.

Sounds perfect to me would be even better If I was the only one living there

Good luck with your son keep turning those stones eventually you will find the outcomes you are looking for. As he is so young try a child psychologist if you haven't already got one. it eventually worked for both my kids.try everything before turning to meds doctors tend to go meds first which isn't always the answer.Good luck

 

[Daisuk]

Sounds perfect to me would be even better If I was the only one living there

Good luck with your son keep turning those stones eventually you will find the outcomes you are looking for. As he is so young try a child psychologist if you haven't already got one. it eventually worked for both my kids.try everything before turning to meds doctors tend to go meds first which isn't always the answer.Good luck

Thank you. I hope we will. It's unbearable to see your little guy in pain like that without being able to properly help him other than there and then. We've been greenlit to apply to get an assessment from a specialist. The Norwegian healthcare system is overloaded, so it's hard to get a foot in the door. We'll just have to find something private if not, but that brick will ruin me. Oh well, it's worth it if it can help, of course.

 

[DeanoAustin]

Had a bit of a crazy incident over the weekend which affected me more than I'd have thought. Have gone through all sorts of nonsense with my ex over the last few years. Won't even get into the ins and outs or rights and wrongs.

Anyway, Friday I'm dropping my kids back to hers. Her and my son get in an argument and she cancels a Halloween sleepover he was having with his mates that had been planned for weeks at less than 2 hours notice. I can see my lad, who is far from blameless in the argument, getting anxious because this would be massive embarrassment for him. Anyway, we get to her house and she isn't there so I ring her from outside because my lad asked me to talk to her and I do it away from the kids. I tell her she shouldn't cancel the sleepover at that sort of notice because his mates and his mates' parents have made plans - if he's to be punished, it should be some other way. Turns into a row. I'm needing to get home for work. She pulls up and blocks me into her driveway and refuses to move. Keeps me there for 20 minutes and we had some verbals outside. Eventually, she moves the car.

I've been fortunate enough that I don't normally suffer from anxiety or any serious mental health issues (touch wood). All weekend, I've felt very anxious over the whole thing. There have been worse incidents over the years but it's like I've been hit by a bolt from the blue where I'm thinking to myself if being blocked into my ex's driveway and arguing with her in public is where I am at 46 years of age, I seriously need to do something about it.

Sorry, bit of a ramble. I've just struggling to know how to deal with it or why it's bothered me so much.

 

[ricky2tricky4city]

Had a bit of a crazy incident over the weekend which affected me more than I'd have thought. Have gone through all sorts of nonsense with my ex over the last few years. Won't even get into the ins and outs or rights and wrongs.

Anyway, Friday I'm dropping my kids back to hers. Her and my son get in an argument and she cancels a Halloween sleepover he was having with his mates that had been planned for weeks at less than 2 hours notice. I can see my lad, who is far from blameless in the argument, getting anxious because this would be massive embarrassment for him. Anyway, we get to her house and she isn't there so I ring her from outside because my lad asked me to talk to her and I do it away from the kids. I tell her she shouldn't cancel the sleepover at that sort of notice because his mates and his mates' parents have made plans - if he's to be punished, it should be some other way. Turns into a row. I'm needing to get home for work. She pulls up and blocks me into her driveway and refuses to move. Keeps me there for 20 minutes and we had some verbals outside. Eventually, she moves the car.

I've been fortunate enough that I don't normally suffer from anxiety or any serious mental health issues (touch wood). All weekend, I've felt very anxious over the whole thing. There have been worse incidents over the years but it's like I've been hit by a bolt from the blue where I'm thinking to myself if being blocked into my ex's driveway and arguing with her in public is where I am at 46 years of age, I seriously need to do something about it.

Sorry, bit of a ramble. I've just struggling to know how to deal with it or why it's bothered me so much.

Have you picked it apart in your head?
There might be one element of the whole episode that is driving that anxiety and you've just not realised what part yet. These things can be very unconscious though .

Did you have the feeling that you couldn't shake off the incident and it was, for want of a better word, bugging you?

 

[DeanoAustin]

Have you picked it apart in your head?
There might be one element of the whole episode that is driving that anxiety and you've just not realised what part yet. These things can be very unconscious though .

Did you have the feeling that you couldn't shake off the incident and it was, for want of a better word, bugging you?

Thanks for the reply.

It's just an anxious feeling. Usually go use the treadmill in the evening. On Friday, I just got to a point where I couldn't keep going. Nothing physical, just felt anxious. The only thing I can liken it to is if you're under pressure in sport and your bottle goes and you shut down.

The whole relationship with her, in terms of co-parenting, just feels like an endless cycle or chaos and drama that I really don't want anymore.

 

[parklane1]

Had a bit of a crazy incident over the weekend which affected me more than I'd have thought. Have gone through all sorts of nonsense with my ex over the last few years. Won't even get into the ins and outs or rights and wrongs.

Anyway, Friday I'm dropping my kids back to hers. Her and my son get in an argument and she cancels a Halloween sleepover he was having with his mates that had been planned for weeks at less than 2 hours notice. I can see my lad, who is far from blameless in the argument, getting anxious because this would be massive embarrassment for him. Anyway, we get to her house and she isn't there so I ring her from outside because my lad asked me to talk to her and I do it away from the kids. I tell her she shouldn't cancel the sleepover at that sort of notice because his mates and his mates' parents have made plans - if he's to be punished, it should be some other way. Turns into a row. I'm needing to get home for work. She pulls up and blocks me into her driveway and refuses to move. Keeps me there for 20 minutes and we had some verbals outside. Eventually, she moves the car.

I've been fortunate enough that I don't normally suffer from anxiety or any serious mental health issues (touch wood). All weekend, I've felt very anxious over the whole thing. There have been worse incidents over the years but it's like I've been hit by a bolt from the blue where I'm thinking to myself if being blocked into my ex's driveway and arguing with her in public is where I am at 46 years of age, I seriously need to do something about it.

Sorry, bit of a ramble. I've just struggling to know how to deal with it or why it's bothered me so much.

Sorry to hear that pal it must have been awful, i have been married a couple of times and thankfully nothing like that has happened. Stay strong pal.

 

[Daisuk]

Had a bit of a crazy incident over the weekend which affected me more than I'd have thought. Have gone through all sorts of nonsense with my ex over the last few years. Won't even get into the ins and outs or rights and wrongs.

Anyway, Friday I'm dropping my kids back to hers. Her and my son get in an argument and she cancels a Halloween sleepover he was having with his mates that had been planned for weeks at less than 2 hours notice. I can see my lad, who is far from blameless in the argument, getting anxious because this would be massive embarrassment for him. Anyway, we get to her house and she isn't there so I ring her from outside because my lad asked me to talk to her and I do it away from the kids. I tell her she shouldn't cancel the sleepover at that sort of notice because his mates and his mates' parents have made plans - if he's to be punished, it should be some other way. Turns into a row. I'm needing to get home for work. She pulls up and blocks me into her driveway and refuses to move. Keeps me there for 20 minutes and we had some verbals outside. Eventually, she moves the car.

I've been fortunate enough that I don't normally suffer from anxiety or any serious mental health issues (touch wood). All weekend, I've felt very anxious over the whole thing. There have been worse incidents over the years but it's like I've been hit by a bolt from the blue where I'm thinking to myself if being blocked into my ex's driveway and arguing with her in public is where I am at 46 years of age, I seriously need to do something about it.

Sorry, bit of a ramble. I've just struggling to know how to deal with it or why it's bothered me so much.

The sounds horrible, mate. Hope you're doing better now. It sounds to me like you're maybe feeling a bit of shame? Your line there "if this is where I'm at" sounds like self blame, as if this was your fault. It clearly wasn't! Also, mentioning "arguing in public" - afraid that other people might be watching and judging you - also very typical of shame. I'm no therapist and definitely not trying to judge you, but maybe trying to viewing it from the point of view of shame will help you unpack the anxiety a bit. You're blaming yourself for something that wasn't/isn't your fault while also feeling shameful that other people might see. I know the feeling.

What has helped me a bit is realizing that all humans have brick they want to keep from the public eye, everyone of us. Every single one. We just keep tricking ourselves into thinking it isn't so, because everyone on the surface looks so perfect - we tell ourselves we know this isn't true, but somehow believes it anyway. Walk into the shame and accept that its part of you. Everyone has their bit. You carry your's. It makes you human. And you're not an outcast. We all have our brick. Just own it and say "I'm human, I'm not perfect, I have a brick ex, and we fight, but thats ok" - I have a brick ex too that I have to co-parent with. There are lots of people like us! fudge the normal duds, we're dealing with the real brick, and that's human and authentic!

Sorry for the rant. Just know you're not alone.

 

[DeanoAustin]

The sounds horrible, mate. Hope you're doing better now. It sounds to me like you're maybe feeling a bit of shame? Your line there "if this is where I'm at" sounds like self blame, as if this was your fault. It clearly wasn't! Also, mentioning "arguing in public" - afraid that other people might be watching and judging you - also very typical of shame. I'm no therapist and definitely not trying to judge you, but maybe trying to viewing it from the point of view of shame will help you unpack the anxiety a bit. You're blaming yourself for something that wasn't/isn't your fault while also feeling shameful that other people might see. I know the feeling.

What has helped me a bit is realizing that all humans have brick they want to keep from the public eye, everyone of us. Every single one. We just keep tricking ourselves into thinking it isn't so, because everyone on the surface looks so perfect - we tell ourselves we know this isn't true, but somehow believes it anyway. Walk into the shame and accept that its part of you. Everyone has their bit. You carry your's. It makes you human. And you're not an outcast. We all have our brick. Just own it and say "I'm human, I'm not perfect, I have a brick ex, and we fight, but thats ok" - I have a brick ex too that I have to co-parent with. There are lots of people like us! fudge the normal duds, we're dealing with the real brick, and that's human and authentic!

Sorry for the rant. Just know you're not alone.

Thanks mate.

Think shame/embarrassment is a part of it. I'm usually pretty private. I don't do social media or any of that stuff and keep myself to myself mostly so arguing in her driveway just feels a bit classless. Especially when the kids could hear. So yeah, that bit bothers me.

But I think it's more the being blocked in that's gotten to me. Like how dare anyone try that especially when I need to get back to work. Also, my initial reaction was to want to go and grab her and make her move the car or go a kick f**k out of her car or something. Now, in a million years, I'm never laying a hand on a woman but I felt anger/frustration to the point where I wanted to do something and didn't have any options that weren't destructive. Had to have a word with myself and say "she'll have to move at some point, don't do a f**king thing".

Just mad way for us to be carrying on in our 40s.

 

[glasgowspur]

Had a bit of a crazy incident over the weekend which affected me more than I'd have thought. Have gone through all sorts of nonsense with my ex over the last few years. Won't even get into the ins and outs or rights and wrongs.

Anyway, Friday I'm dropping my kids back to hers. Her and my son get in an argument and she cancels a Halloween sleepover he was having with his mates that had been planned for weeks at less than 2 hours notice. I can see my lad, who is far from blameless in the argument, getting anxious because this would be massive embarrassment for him. Anyway, we get to her house and she isn't there so I ring her from outside because my lad asked me to talk to her and I do it away from the kids. I tell her she shouldn't cancel the sleepover at that sort of notice because his mates and his mates' parents have made plans - if he's to be punished, it should be some other way. Turns into a row. I'm needing to get home for work. She pulls up and blocks me into her driveway and refuses to move. Keeps me there for 20 minutes and we had some verbals outside. Eventually, she moves the car.

I've been fortunate enough that I don't normally suffer from anxiety or any serious mental health issues (touch wood). All weekend, I've felt very anxious over the whole thing. There have been worse incidents over the years but it's like I've been hit by a bolt from the blue where I'm thinking to myself if being blocked into my ex's driveway and arguing with her in public is where I am at 46 years of age, I seriously need to do something about it.

Sorry, bit of a ramble. I've just struggling to know how to deal with it or why it's bothered me so much.

As someone with anxiety issues I can relate, and it's very common to repeatedly go over the incident and ramp up the anxiety levels.
You become anxious about how you got into that state and can actually begin to doubt yourself or your recall of the situation.
It doesn't sound to me as if you did anything wrong, your reasoning on the punishment is sound, you haven't inconvenience your ex.
Obviously that's from only hearing your side.
I would reach out to her, maybe she is feeling the same, we seldom know what is going on in people's life's and perhaps if she's having a tough time, that little bit of contact will help her and make your relationship a little easier in the future.
You're going to have contact with her because of your kid, a support here could make life easier in the future.

 

[ricky2tricky4city]

Thanks mate.

Think shame/embarrassment is a part of it. I'm usually pretty private. I don't do social media or any of that stuff and keep myself to myself mostly so arguing in her driveway just feels a bit classless. Especially when the kids could hear. So yeah, that bit bothers me.

But I think it's more the being blocked in that's gotten to me. Like how dare anyone try that especially when I need to get back to work. Also, my initial reaction was to want to go and grab her and make her move the car or go a kick f**k out of her car or something. Now, in a million years, I'm never laying a hand on a woman but I felt anger/frustration to the point where I wanted to do something and didn't have any options that weren't destructive. Had to have a word with myself and say "she'll have to move at some point, don't do a f**king thing".

Just mad way for us to be carrying on in our 40s.

Without sounding a clever clogs, it was the being 'blocked in' that stood out to me.

Not because the other things don't carry as much weight, @Daisuk makes some good points about shame, and equally your thoughts of 'how the fudge has it come to this', and I don't want this to be an example to the kids are all irritations for sure.

But without going all psychology 101 on you...the being 'blocked in' should have rattled you for a number of reasons...some deeper than others.
1. It was a different tactic from her, a fresh way to fudge you up.
2. You had other commitments that were time sensitive and important to you, and she was fudging with them.
3. It brought up deep stuff from the past (kid age) where you were trapped, block in, forcibly prevented etc. Situations that left emotional wounds
4. Finally, the way it unfolded in the moment, had you fuming and internally angry, although you controlled it (bravo mate), afterwards you still felt things you didn't like, and you are questioning yourself and your potential behaviour and limits.

From what you've said..definitely think about 3 (and possibly 4) as something that rises from deep in us can be so confusing as its unresolved trauma but coming from when you was a totally different person to what you are now. It will trigger unease and anxiety, and it will linger as you don't know what it is and why it is.

Stay strong mate.