The only way kids football will ever be civilised is to ban all parents from at least a 100 yards from the pitches, they are killing the games kids should be enjoying, it's about having fun with your mates not fulfilling sad parents shattered dreams. My son quit at 10 as he hated the bile of the parents and 30 years on it's worse at my grandsons games, I cant watch them as I know there would be trouble.
When I was coaching U-15s (up to 2020) my first ‘pre-season training session’ I’d ask all the parents to come along. Before starting anything, I’d introduce myself, learn their names, tell them that myself and my asst were proud to be coaching the team and that we needed them to know the following
1) please don’t ‘coach’ from the sideline. We are doing specific things based on a season and also years down the road for their kids. I then said if parents insisted on ‘coaching’ from the sidelines, I’d happily hand off to them and leave it.
2) please encourage the team
3) please refrain from direct communication with your kid as they’re playing
4) please do not say a word about the refereeing
5) please do not get into it with any parents from the other team
I then told the team that I had explained what I needed from their parents and that they did not need to worry about being shouted at/hearing their parents tell them what to do. I would then tell my side that ANY complaints about a decision should be relayed to us at HT or in extreme cases, their captain, who would then go and politely ask the ref to clarify. No arguing. Anyone arguing got subbed. I also did all my coaching/big voice, etc, at training twice a week. On matchdays we’d be prepped and I’d only offer encouragement from the side or a couple of different ‘shape’ gestures. No yelling. Again, anything major, I’d call the skipper close and quickly tell them to pass on the info.
After every game, I’d send a report to the parents so as they understood what we were doing shape-wise and what we were trying to do overall. Convincing the sides (over several years) to play the ball from the back was the greatest challenge. I remember when we ‘high-pressed’ from the front one season; we played most of our games (literally!) ion the half-way line in their half. We had a smart and very fast central CB who could cover if the oppo managed a ball over the top of any decency. It was quite a season. Unbeaten and only two goals conceded all the way to the final, where we hit woodwork 4 times, camped in their half and got done by a deflected breakaway goal. Sound a little familiar?!!!!
They were fun times, we had some great players and not so great, but everyone improved their game and everyone enjoyed their seasons.
I could not agree more on the issue of parents vicariously living through their kids, utterly toxic.
