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It's Only The Work's Christmas Party Thread!

Discussion in 'Randomination' started by Dayo, 2 Dec 2012.

  1. Dayo

    Dayo Chris Armstrong

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    Good stories? Bad stories? Spread the joy here.

    Mine is on the 7th in the UK's No.1 city that is Worcester. I've never been drunk but i've promised a work colleague that I will get rat arsed as they are leaving the following week. I do odd things sober so it's a bit of a mystery as to what I will be capable of.

    Anyway, it will probably be a few days before anyone has a new story to share so lets hear some of your old stories to get things rolling.
     
  2. markysimmo

    markysimmo Johnny nice-tits

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    I just posted this in vice

    My pal stayed at mine lastnight, we both went out got smashed, he brought a girl back..

    They are getting hold of each other in the front room, so I go to bed, next thing I know, this girl has got in bed with me, started kissing me, then she tossed me off and gave me a bj, putting my hands down her knickers, proper old finger blast..

    This goes on for about 10 mins, then she was like I want you to fudge me but you said you dont have any condoms, I was lke yeh ive got loads in the draw, she was like no you said you dont have any, I was like nooo its my flat I know ive got loads of condoms haha, then bang she turned the light on and to her horror she thought I was my mate hahahah

    OMG how funny, she got mocked to bits...
     
  3. Gordinho

    Gordinho Banned

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    There's two options here;

    Your mate got a nosh last mate by proxy or you owe your mate a blowjob.
     
  4. DHSF

    DHSF Les Ferdinand

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    Mines on the 20th at the Oxo Tower - not a black tie event or sit down dinner like the last few years. The last few years everyone looked like a fudgein penguin and no one ever sat down at the table - so what was the point huh.

    Its a dress to party type atmosphere with finger buffet. I hope the buffet will not be the only thing I finger by the end of it [-o<
     
  5. DHSF

    DHSF Les Ferdinand

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    Thats funny

    what a slut lovely
     
  6. Dayo

    Dayo Chris Armstrong

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    Last year's christmas party was held in January of this year on a Tuesday night, again in Worcester. We were having a meal at a part restaurant part pub type place and I decided half way through I needed a wee. Went into the toilet and the urinal was full so headed into the cubicle. Now bearing in mind I was only having a wee I have no idea what made me do the following...

    Opened the cubicle door to see the Managing Director bloke washing his hands at the sink, it's worth noting that he has little to no sense of humour and i've very rarely spoken to him other than the occasional "morning" in the morning at work. So, he says to me "Oh Hi Dayo, everything going ok?" to which I replied "Yeah great thanks, just making more room for the chicken WOOOOHH!" while waving my hand to motion a smelly arse. He looked slightly startled and looked at me as if I had just kicked his dog.

    Sat back down at table and continued to eat the meal with him sat opposite, and about 8 or so people sat either side. Feeling very sheepish as he looked at me all I could think of to say was "Good chicken". I don't think I said anything for the rest of the evening.
     
  7. Roy1983

    Roy1983 Edward Sheringham

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    Mines at the abbey taverna. £5 we have to pay but it's a three course meal and a drink thrown in so can't complain too much. Once again we all said stick the food put all the money in the kitty and give us a free bar at a Wetherspoon central to everyone but they haven't. There's 40-50 going at a cost of £30 per head I'd imagine so that's be a decent wedge behind the bar. Certainly pennies to William Hill.
     
  8. El Guepardo

    El Guepardo Paul Robinson

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    I have no Christmas party set up this year and I couldn't be happier! More money to spend on nights out with the people that I actually WANT to socialise with.
     
  9. Greg

    Greg Gus Poyet

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    We've got two, one this Friday where we are taking the afternoon off and going for a meal followed by drinks and then another the Friday after which is drink only.

    Only going to the first one, which is my function only, rather than second which is the whole of the organisation (well those based at HQ).
     
  10. paxtonwolf

    paxtonwolf Vic Buckingham

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    Mine is on Thursday night. Not impressed, but not turning up for it isnt really an option. The boss knows I'm a big Spurs fan, (he's an ST at Eastlands), so it would be pretty obvious if I didnt turn up.

    Gutted. Not the first time I've missed Spurs games thanks to work. We always seem to have our meetings on Thursdays. I'll have to get the wife on 15min text updates
     
  11. El Guepardo

    El Guepardo Paul Robinson

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    Surely Christmas parties can't be compulsory? Just say that you had prior arrangements and as your boss knows you are a Spurs fan, he will know what those are. Unless they are paying for you to be at the Christmas party, highly unlikely, what right does the boss have to control your out of work life?
     
  12. Gordinho

    Gordinho Banned

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    I blanked mine for exactly the reason you mentioned above.

    Our depot is so inbred, every fudger's related because at Christmas/Wedding/Leaving do's everybody gets tinkled and fudges their colleagues. Every **** plays the banjo.
     
  13. southstand1882

    southstand1882 Mitchell Thomas

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    My Chrimbo party is at The Belfry this year

    Should be a good one with about 200 or so people

    Mine is with partners, so won't be markysimmo quality, but you never know
     
  14. southstand1882

    southstand1882 Mitchell Thomas

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    This is up there with the south west trains story

    Absolute quality
     
  15. Danishfurniturelover

    Danishfurniturelover the prettiest spice girl

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    what is it with people who work for or on the railways? i see them at the stations or on the trains and there is always something off about them



    I am self employed well i do regular contract work for a guy but he has not mentioned anything about drinks or a meal to me. I quite like not having a christmas meal to be honest.

    do any of you lot go on your other halfs christmas do? i sort of have to because the wifes work have the habit of taking their partners along. Bad enough putting up with a boring bunch of bastards you work with well it is worse putting up with a boring bunch of bastards you don't work with.

    The wife works in drug rehab and the people she works with are all do gooding pricks and their wifes/husbands fudging idiots.
     
  16. Gordinho

    Gordinho Banned

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    You'll be a form of case study for them.:lol:
     
  17. paxtonwolf

    paxtonwolf Vic Buckingham

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    They cant, but they can make it difficult for you. I've seen it happen before.
    We get meeting dates at the start of the year which you must avoid booking anything on, so,in their words, there are no excuses for non-attendance.
    At the end of the day I can quite easily record the game. Make my appearance, slope off after the meal and a few drinks, and watch the game 'as live' when I get in. Bummer not being able to watch it live,but hey, there are a lot things in life worse than missing a game on the TV. Persepctive and all that I suppose
     
  18. DHSF

    DHSF Les Ferdinand

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    Why dont you wanna go?

    I love work events because its an opportunity to make new friends, it is an opportunity for people to let their hair down and ultimately it is free wooohooo.
     
  19. paxtonwolf

    paxtonwolf Vic Buckingham

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    I dont have to, wife works at a school so they have a little do on the last Friday of term. Partners dont come on our works so, which I dont mind too much.
    Last time the wife attended one of mine. It was a Cossack theme night in a tent at Old Trafford, strangely enough.
    My old boss got absolutley smashed, totally off his face. His was slumped in a corner, I was embarassed for him he was that bad. The wife spotted him and said 'Who's the drunk in the corner?"
    I said "That's my boss, get your coat we're off"
    Sorry if that sounds prudish, but I thought he was out of order (as well as off his face!)
     
  20. thfcsteff

    thfcsteff Gary Stevens Staff Member

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    Are you sure this isn't actually a lost episode of The League of Gentlemen???!!!!
     

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