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Women!

galeforce said:
don't agree with that superhudd, no one trumps your daughter, ever

a woman getting jealous of a mans children is inexcusable, she needs to grow up
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Was going to post something similar but no need as you've articulated what I was thinking of writing.

Don't want to sound harsh, but Nigeyman I think you need to let her girlfriend have it to be honest. You're not in the wrong, she is, and you need to let her know that. If my girlfriend carried out like that I'd consider it a dealbreaker to be blunt, but it's your decision mate.
 
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Kingdawson said:
Ah man, Nigeyman you've lost in life if you actually do that.
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I didn't mean it to sound like "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please forgive me" type ****.

It's not emasculating to rise above it and acknowledge that we all sometimes take stuff out on our other halves for no reason or completely fly off the handle for the most stupid of reasons. Like Daisuk said, there may be a completely unrelated issue which is underneath this.

If my wife is in a totally unreasonable mood and taking it out on me then I AM sorry that she feels that way because I care about her and respect her. It works both ways when I am like that with her.

I don't know what your relationship is like Nigey (although if you're getting wed then it must be serious) but if there is a mutual respect there then it will sort itself out and whilst you are sympathetic to the way she is feeling she should also respect you enough to realise how out of order she was in this instance.
 
Bonsaiboy said:
Borderline Personality Disorder - get out while you still can. Women like that can suck the life out of you.
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Very much agree with this post... I've been there and it is REALLY ****.

DTA said:
I'm afraid to say that this sounds familiar, my ex seemed a like a similar personality type.... All I will say is that she unlikely to change, and this is an issue that needs to be resolved.
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Again, I agree with this post. Others have suggested treading carefully with this one but I actually feel you should just explain that your daughter comes first. Just outright test the waters. If she goes nuts about it still maybe she won't actually change?

Good luck Nigeyman!
 
galeforce said:
don't agree with that superhudd, no one trumps your daughter, ever

a woman getting jealous of a mans children is inexcusable, she needs to grow up
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What I wrote is what I think is in the girlfriends head..

My viewpoint is aimed at getting along with an easier life, to do so.. you make sacrifice's. Also.. my viewpoint was on present buying... and on Valentines day too. Not on who comes first or who you love more. I guess I am in the viewpoint that its a bit weird to buy your daughter flowers on Valentines Day (Never had a daughter so wouldn't know the norm, but I don't think my brother has done it with his 12 year old). I'd get a Card maybe with it not signed to make out she has a mystery admirer. But I do not think that on Valentines you get the women in your life the same as your daughter. IMO your asking for trouble. I will ask my wife about this when she gets in and see what her reaction would be if I bought the same thing for her and a daughter.. to see whether her nose was put out of joint. Those with partners should ask too... although expect cries of 'If you don't know the answer...' or 'You got a secret daughter you not told me about'.
 
Superhudd said:
What I wrote is what I think is in the girlfriends head..

My viewpoint is aimed at getting along with an easier life, to do so.. you make sacrifice's. Also.. my viewpoint was on present buying... and on Valentines day too. Not on who comes first or who you love more. I guess I am in the viewpoint that its a bit weird to buy your daughter flowers on Valentines Day (Never had a daughter so wouldn't know the norm, but I don't think my brother has done it with his 12 year old). I'd get a Card maybe with it not signed to make out she has a mystery admirer. But I do not think that on Valentines you get the women in your life the same as your daughter. IMO your asking for trouble. I will ask my wife about this when she gets in and see what her reaction would be if I bought the same thing for her and a daughter.. to see whether her nose was put out of joint. Those with partners should ask too... although expect cries of 'If you don't know the answer...' or 'You got a secret daughter you not told me about'.
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Well no...you don't make sacrifices if the other half is acting like an unreasonable brat. The nerve of the woman to get angry at Nigey for buying his daughter a card ffs. If that's how she's gonna act for his own daughter then i dread to think how she acts if ever speaks to a female cab driver, interacts with a female waitress or GHod forbid...have a female friend.
 
There is an underlying problem and it has nothing to do with the daughter or buying a valentines day card etc. Its basically her insecurities. She wants to be the centre of attention, dislikes sharing it, and wants Nigeys undivided love and attention - unfortunately that doesnt, can not and should not happen.
 
wow back from work....had a massive barney....told her im off out to see my mate.

not proud of how I just spoke to her but I was honest.

to answer some of the above queries Ive been with her for 9 years....she has known my daughter since she was 2.....she also knows how I feel about my ex so there are no worries there.
she is now coming out with that she isnt happy that I didnt tell her id got my daughter card/flowers...so after my daughter thanked me in the car she says to my daughter isnt your daddy sweet before looking at me with that face of stone. last night it was because id got someone else flowers now im in the wrong because i didnt tell her my plans...thing is I was trying to suprise them both.

I dunno....i didnt want to come home today from work and I told her that....

jeez what a shi**er......ruddy valentines day eh.....this is me all over...try and do something nice.......please everyone....only for everything to backfire spectaculary in my face.

happy days off for a beer after a long week.

viva la spurs!

oh and my ex is not my x wife......have never been married ........maybe never will at this rate!
 
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DHSF said:
There is an underlying problem and it has nothing to do with the daughter or buying a valentines day card etc. Its basically her insecurities. She wants to be the centre of attention, dislikes sharing it, and wants Nigeys undivided love and attention - unfortunately that doesnt, can not and should not happen.
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That's how I see it too. Although to make a partnership or marriage work sometimes.. you have to sacrifice what is right or wrong. Backing down for the greater good. Next time I would say to Nigel is to maybe forget the flowers to the daughter.
 
Nigeyman said:
last night it was because id got someone else flowers now im in the wrong because i didnt tell her my plans...thing is I was trying to suprise them both.
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Sounds to me that she realises she was stupid but now trying to save face. Forget it, move on.. buy her some flowers in a couple of weeks.. out of the blue for no reason. Makeup sex to look forward too.
 
Superhudd said:
That's how I see it too. Although to make a partnership or marriage work sometimes.. you have to sacrifice what is right or wrong. Backing down for the greater good. Next time I would say to Nigel is to maybe forget the flowers to the daughter.
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Your advice is very weird.
 
Nigeyman said:
wow back from work....had a massive barney....told her im off out to see my mate.

not proud of how I just spoke to her but I was honest.

to answer some of the above queries Ive been with her for 9 years....she has known my daughter since she was 2.....she also knows how I feel about my ex so there are no worries there.
she is now coming out with that she isnt happy that I didnt tell her id got my daughter card/flowers...so after my daughter thanked me in the car she says to my daughter isnt your daddy sweet before looking at me with that face of stone. last night it was because id got someone else flowers now im in the wrong because i didnt tell her my plans...thing is I was trying to suprise them both.

I dunno....i didnt want to come home today from work and I told her that....

jeez what a shi**er......ruddy valentines day eh.....this is me all over...try and do something nice.......please everyone....only for everything to backfire spectaculary in my face.

happy days off for a beer after a long week.

viva la spurs!

oh and my ex is not my x wife......have never been married ........maybe never will at this rate!
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All the best mate.

Sometimes it's tough, and it's as simple or as complicated as that.
 
Nigeyman said:
wow back from work....had a massive barney....told her im off out to see my mate.

not proud of how I just spoke to her but I was honest.

to answer some of the above queries Ive been with her for 9 years....she has known my daughter since she was 2.....she also knows how I feel about my ex so there are no worries there.
she is now coming out with that she isnt happy that I didnt tell her id got my daughter card/flowers...so after my daughter thanked me in the car she says to my daughter isnt your daddy sweet before looking at me with that face of stone. last night it was because id got someone else flowers now im in the wrong because i didnt tell her my plans...thing is I was trying to suprise them both.

I dunno....i didnt want to come home today from work and I told her that....

jeez what a shi**er......ruddy valentines day eh.....this is me all over...try and do something nice.......please everyone....only for everything to backfire spectaculary in my face.

happy days off for a beer after a long week.

viva la spurs!

oh and my ex is not my x wife......have never been married ........maybe never will at this rate!
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woah, someone else, it's your daughter FFS, dude, alarm bells are ringing

you don't have to justify doing nice things for your kids
 
Kingdawson said:
Oh trust me, i won't. I just hope Nigey doesn't.

"you have to sacrifice what is right"? if that's the case i'd happily avoid marriage my whole life.
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lol You learn that sometimes its easier to take **** on the chin than 2 weeks of earache and bull****.

When valentines day is involved, I will always take the hit on the chin if the wife isn't happy. It's her special day, although some would believe its a special day for couples. lol

BTW please quote the whole thing.
 
Sounds like plain and simple jealousy to me. You need to foster the relationship between your soon to be missus and your daughter so that they are the absolute best of buddies. Then this sort of thing will not aggravate your missus in the slightest.
 
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