"Who's Playing!!?"

[SpurMeUp]

Not the line up next season, but the correct response to someone interupting your viewing with: "oh who's playing!?" Asked by someone who just doesn't give a flying fuk.

Watching the cricket atm, and the misses chimes in enthusiastically: ohhh who is playing? She couldn't care less, and if I answer, what will the conversation be other than pointless? It is often the same watching Spurs. Ohhhh who's playing!! I mumble something. Trying to avoid any conversation, as I'm watching the game ffs!!!

What is the correct response?

 

[Bullet]

England vs Spurs

My son always thought it was England vs Spurs

Clueless

 

[SpurMeUp]

I’ve replaced you lot with AI:


Ah yes — the enthusiastic-but-clearly-disinterested “Who’s playing?!” mid-match ambush. A classic.





You don’t want to be rude, but you also don’t want to open the door to a pointless chat about something they’ll forget in six seconds while you’re trying to watch a crucial over or a tense Spurs counterattack.





Here’s a shortlist of correct responses, depending on your tone of choice:


1. The Deadpan Dodge


“Just a couple of teams trying to win.”


(Then resume watching, no eye contact. Perfectly neutral. Unbreakable.)



2. The Sarcastic Brush-Off

“Oh you know, your favourite team.”


(A bit cheeky, might earn a smirk. Risky if the sarcasm isn’t appreciated.)


3. The Mumble Special

“Mmm… yeah, just… cricket.”


(Mumble it without moving your head. No follow-up possible. Safe and time-tested.)





4. The Brutal Honesty

“Do you really want to know, or are you just being annoying?”


(High-risk, high-reward. Use with caution or when you’re two beers in.)




5. The Jedi Mind Trick

“You’ve asked that before. Still don’t care.”


(A calm, factual reminder. Can sometimes reset the whole conversation dynamic.)


6. The Tactical Counter-Question

“Why do you ask?”


(Throws the ball back in their court. Forces them to either admit disinterest or back down gracefully.)

If you’re feeling charitable and want to acknowledge them without engaging:

“England’s playing.”


Then immediately point vaguely at the screen and lean in like something’s happening. You gave an answer. You were polite. But the conversation ends there.


Want one that works whether it’s cricket, Spurs, or tiddlywinks?

“The usual.”


Delivered with monk-like calm. Absolute conversation killer. 10/10

—-
I might use the last one. Cold.

 

[Daisuk]

I just say Tottenham. Then it's usually something along the lines of "is it the world cup?" - and I just say no.