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How do you wash your tush?

NewYorkSpurs

NewYorkSpurs

Steven Caulker
Simple question. A bit gay, maybe. But how do you do it in the shower? I have dingleberries, a bit problematic for me. I need advice.
 
If you washed it on the toilet properly, you probably wouldn't have the problem in the shower.
 
Bidets are great - not sure why we don't have them in the UK??

And if it's a sloppy brick it can stick to you hairy asshole......it's a legitimate problem!
 
NewYorkSpurs said:
Simple question. A bit gay, maybe. But how do you do it in the shower? I have dingleberries, a bit problematic for me. I need advice.
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Good and hard in the shower, no soap as it irritates, Germolene as required to finish after gently patting dry. After pooing wipe your bum gently in the first place rather than go at it like a mad man, Aloe Vera impregnated loo roll as opposed to the regular stuff is like the difference between Nat King Cole or Bonnie Tyler singing a lullaby to your arse.

EDIT: My answer was based on the assumption he means Adrian Chiles rather than whinnets.
 
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Stand over a mirror with a pair of scissors. Best done sober and perhaps a harness to hold your balls up would help.
 
Pussy not asshole, and a hairy CLEAN asshole is fine, caked in brick? No thanks.

Mmmmmm....hairy pussy.

See what you've done!!!!? :)
 
unknown said:
I thought you lap that up in a women. :evil:
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images

yummy!
 
WookieD said:
As a hairy man that never suffers with arsetronaughts, I concur. Wipe properly, wipe once.
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And don't use that cheap TP that shreds as soon as you rip it from the roll. You gotta use the stuff that's basically one step down from using angel's wings.
 
Get a bidet.

Failing that, moist toilet tissue - wipe wet stuff with dry paper and dry stuff with wet.
 
My brother carries a pack of wet wipes wherever he goes. Kinda started doin the same especially at work where the toilet paper resembles tracin paper. If I'm on a date n a woman has taken a brick I will have made my mind up not to fudge her up the butt n certainly no fudgein tongue action.
 
When I travelled, in India/Pakistan/Sri Lanka they always had a small bucket by the toilet, so you washed and dried, thought that was good but a bit messy (you'd need a water tight bathroom to do this), in Thailand alot of places had small focused mini-showerheads instead, that was the shizzle, you could still be at on the toilet give it a good blast and quick wipe, all good.

toiletbottompg-1.jpg
 
DHSF said:
My brother carries a pack of wet wipes wherever he goes. Kinda started doin the same especially at work where the toilet paper resembles tracin paper. If I'm on a date n a woman has taken a brick I will have made my mind up not to fudge her up the butt n certainly no fudgein tongue action.
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How the flipping flip do you manage to work "Have you taken a dump since we met tonight?" into conversation?

Sir, I take my hat off to you, if you're still getting your end away after dropping that bomb into a conversation then you're a far better man than me. :lol:
 
Gordinho said:
How the flipping flip do you manage to work "Have you taken a dump since we met tonight?" into conversation?

Sir, I take my hat off to you, if you're still getting your end away after dropping that bomb into a conversation then you're a far better man than me. :lol:
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I judge it based on time. Longer than 7 minutes - she is flipping bricking. I have it in my head she is bricking and thats that - once it is in my mind I wont get it out of my mind so therefore she has taken a brick (whether she actually did or did not I dont know and irrespective) She wont be getting any.

Also you judge it on how much she eats and what she eats - if she has a curry with me fudge it I am jumping in a taxi.

Anyways as for cleaning your tush I suggest stand in the shower bend over hold the shower head between your crack turn it on in full power. simples.
 
It is an absolute imperative to have moistened arsewipes alongside your standard 2-ply, luxurious bog roll. I absolutely cannot stand having any clinkerage around my ring-piece, and consider myself fastidious when it comes to anal cleanliness. If that's considered gay, then so be it, far FAR better than have a gummy, poo-jammed crack!
 
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