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Business spiel

Discussion in 'Randomination' started by Jurgen the German, 11 Aug 2015.

  1. Jurgen the German

    Jurgen the German Chris Jones

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    Location:
    Mexico..All's I'm saying
    Anyone else get tired of hearing the same words over and over at work? Some examples:

    Bespoke
    Leave it/that with me
    By close of play today (Didn't know we were at Wimbledon)
    Synergy
    Core values
    KPIs
    Take ownership
     
  2. jabbathehut

    jabbathehut Luke Young

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    i'll take care of it is another one. 5 hrs later still not taken care of.
     
  3. Superted

    Superted Jonathan Woodgate

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    Where everybody knows your name
    I find myself using "complete the circle" a lot and want to slap myself.
     
  4. Spur of the moment

    Spur of the moment Pat van den Hauwe

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    Going forward ...
     
  5. Mr_B

    Mr_B Jose Dominguez

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    "we're going to have a conversation"
    reach out
    use of resources
    structures in place
    integral asset


    to name but a hundred.

    your grandchildren won't have to work as we know it and will look back at this crazy employment situation that exists today and will wonder why we bothered
     
  6. THFC

    THFC Scott Parker

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    'Let's park that for a second' - translation - 'I don't have a fudging clue so will need to find out'
     
    monkeybarry likes this.
  7. spitshine

    spitshine Ramon Vega

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    Get all your ducks lined up
    Throw that idea into the long grass
    Let's discuss cob
    Do we have enough bandwidth
    let's get a few easy wins " low hanging fruit"
    Someone came to my desk the other day and in a discussion said he was agnostic about a decision
     
  8. Danishfurniturelover

    Danishfurniturelover the prettiest spice girl

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    6 months ago I did not know what a KPI was, now I do and I wish I had not.
     
  9. jabbathehut

    jabbathehut Luke Young

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    he has just stepped out, to be honest,and please action this e-mail get on my nerves on a daily basis.
     
  10. Jurgen the German

    Jurgen the German Chris Jones

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    People getting copied in to emails annoys me, most of the time it's just arse covering. I myself even do it sometimes as you have to play the game, but I've never done it to get others into trouble.
     
  11. Superted

    Superted Jonathan Woodgate

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    Location:
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    Strategic mindset
    Capability statement
    Sexual harassment policy

    All a load of garbage.
     
  12. Thebarbarian

    Thebarbarian Reto Ziegler

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    I wasn't aware that was part of my job description
    Are you sure that's in the Dress Policy
    Do you have to stand so close to me
    Did you install that webcam under my desk

    If I've heard them once I've heard them a thousand times!! too bloody pc nowadays
     
  13. NickTB

    NickTB Steve Hodge

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    Sunny, Sunny Essex
    This. Plus SLA reports. Bane of my life
     
  14. Papercut

    Papercut Jermaine Jenas

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    'Make the time'... Okay, then you run faster than Bolt... MAKE THE SPEED!!!
     
  15. markysimmo

    markysimmo Johnny nice-tits

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    I have a monthly meeting with a senior manager, he literally talks management jargon/flimflam for the whole of the two hours each time, i think it's mildly amusing
     
  16. AVB

    AVB Erik Edman

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    Your fired
     
  17. glasgowspur

    glasgowspur Frederic Kanoute

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    This is all gold, I've a meeting tomorrow with the new head honcho at our biggest customer. I'll work as of these in that I can and this time next year we'll be millionaires!!
     
  18. parklane1

    parklane1 Gary Stevens

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    Try and find a window.
     
  19. spurspinter1

    spurspinter1 Mauricio Taricco

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    Presuming you're not working in the business of English grammar guides then? ;)
     
  20. Papercut

    Papercut Jermaine Jenas

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    Lady colleague wearing barely anything on a warm day: "Please shut the windows, it's freezing in here" And there you're sitting (naturally in business attire) sweating your nuts off.
     

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