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The Kids Are Alright AKA The Parents’ Thread
- Thread starter DaveT316
- Start date
Muttley
Dean Austin
Thanks. You won't go far wrong with a load of natural love and providing a trusted and safe environment. When my nieces visit, I always have off-limits rooms in the house available for them to hang out in. If the pressure builds on them, they can just debunk to their safe place. It's the same at their grandads. They visit, but you may not necessarily see much of them. I never raise my voice in their company and I don't expect (but sometimes get) cuddles.
You soon get used to the routine as uncles and aunties. It's the parents that have the tough gig. I've had many long heart to hearts with my little sis especially as the pressure built on her over the years. It's actually driven us closer than we ever were to be fair.
Junior19
Nicola Berti
Uncles and aunties, grannies and grandpas can be the most important persons to a family with a neurodivergent child, if they get the knowledge and confidence to handle the situation. They are family and often close, so the transition can be less challenging for the child from being with one or the other, and any chance one have to give the parents a proper opportunity to unwind and recharge is worth more than gold.
Having a child on the spectrum can also mean that you're in a constant state of alert, even when away from the child. Unless you have confidence in the persons being with the child while you're away. Knowing that Uncle Bob or Auntie Alice -gets it-, and are capable to deal with the child is a huge relief and allows for proper wind-down of your own limbic system. As I said, we need our own strength to be able to provide calm and protection, so proper rest and recouperation becomes all so much more important.
So a big, massive heartfelt thank you to all family members out there who actually takes onboard such information and who does go the extra step to help! Know that what you do matter, and although we may be to exhausted to say a proper "thank you" when we leave our most valuable persons in your care for a few hours or a day, it is of massive importance and hopefully we remember to show the gratitude when we've recharged!
Also, it is easy to burrow down in such posts as these we've written here, and others, and get the impression that "oh my GHod, this is doom and gloom, we're never going to have a good day again in our life!" but rest assured, there are plenty of good days ahead.
Depending on where on the spectrum one are, the challenges and the upsides are different. But some things are more universal. For example, many on the spectrum see rules and justice as black or white. And many of them think highly logical (think Spock!). So if you set proper rules, that make sense, and follow them yourself, you'll probably have much less of challenges with rule breaking and testing of limits. But they must make sense, and they must be fair. And if the child has been caught fibbing, a spectrum child will most likely own up right away, because that's what the rule is! If you get caught, you're done.
And they are -not- their diagnosis. They are whole and full persons, with the same complex emotions, thoughts, feelings, interests, quirks, issues and devotions as any neurotypical person you'll ever meet. Their brains are just wired after a slightly different schematic.
And when a child on the spectrum finds his/hers true interest, trust me, it becomes your interest as well, because you won't hear the end of it! And you will be amazed by how much a child can absorb of knowlegde about a particular subject, and also, how much they manage to pass on to you whether you want to or not!
Having a child on the spectrum can also mean that you're in a constant state of alert, even when away from the child. Unless you have confidence in the persons being with the child while you're away. Knowing that Uncle Bob or Auntie Alice -gets it-, and are capable to deal with the child is a huge relief and allows for proper wind-down of your own limbic system. As I said, we need our own strength to be able to provide calm and protection, so proper rest and recouperation becomes all so much more important.
So a big, massive heartfelt thank you to all family members out there who actually takes onboard such information and who does go the extra step to help! Know that what you do matter, and although we may be to exhausted to say a proper "thank you" when we leave our most valuable persons in your care for a few hours or a day, it is of massive importance and hopefully we remember to show the gratitude when we've recharged!
Also, it is easy to burrow down in such posts as these we've written here, and others, and get the impression that "oh my GHod, this is doom and gloom, we're never going to have a good day again in our life!" but rest assured, there are plenty of good days ahead.
Depending on where on the spectrum one are, the challenges and the upsides are different. But some things are more universal. For example, many on the spectrum see rules and justice as black or white. And many of them think highly logical (think Spock!). So if you set proper rules, that make sense, and follow them yourself, you'll probably have much less of challenges with rule breaking and testing of limits. But they must make sense, and they must be fair. And if the child has been caught fibbing, a spectrum child will most likely own up right away, because that's what the rule is!
If you get caught, you're done. And they are -not- their diagnosis. They are whole and full persons, with the same complex emotions, thoughts, feelings, interests, quirks, issues and devotions as any neurotypical person you'll ever meet. Their brains are just wired after a slightly different schematic.
And when a child on the spectrum finds his/hers true interest, trust me, it becomes your interest as well, because you won't hear the end of it! And you will be amazed by how much a child can absorb of knowlegde about a particular subject, and also, how much they manage to pass on to you whether you want to or not!
Diamond Lights
Kasey Keller
have a 10 year old and 5 year old, my Apple Watch said i got a sleep score of 69 last night. WTF. Shouldn't be happening at this age!