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Does anyone suffer from mental illness on here?

Discussion in 'Randomination' started by Danishfurniturelover, 24 Oct 2016.

  1. Danishfurniturelover

    Danishfurniturelover Jack Jull

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    Kelly catlin 23 year old Olympic silver medallist killed herself yesterday.


    Makes me really sad, can't believe it. All that future ahead of her.
     
  2. Jordinho

    Jordinho John White Staff Member

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  3. thfcsteff

    thfcsteff Barry Daines Staff Member

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    What a load to bear mate.
    Yes, I think we can all relate to parts of your post for sure.
    The thing I found helps in such moments is to allow it to happen but make sure you recognize there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It will end. Something will change and life will move to another phase. Cancer's fudging horrible. The stuff with your missus sounds fudged too. Probably worth putting energy into the two things which bring you respite whilst knowing the other things will conclude at some point. Keep the waters as clear as possible; mum and kids. Rights and wrongs become arbitrary, and if someone is repeatedly wrong but screaming that they're right and you're not, in the end the truth will become clear. Don't let those things stop you from being you. Make sure you find a mate or two to have a mona/unload with as well.
    Good luck.
     
    Last edited: 11 Mar 2019
  4. thfcsteff

    thfcsteff Barry Daines Staff Member

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    I think this is bang on the money. One other thing I would say...whatever the temptation, don't speak ill of her to your kids. Keep it open. They will see for themselves in due course. Even if she twists things against you when speaking to them about you, continue to take the high ground and show them love and they will see it all for what it is when old enough. It is tough because you will want to tell them, but try and withhold/withdraw from that. Good luck.
     
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  5. markysimmo

    markysimmo Johnny nice-tits

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    Just reading Muggy Mike (Love Island 2017) has been found dead from suicide

    Its really sad that people have to do this to themselves
     
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  6. Daisuk

    Daisuk Steffen Iversen

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    Just wanted to share with you guys in here. About 6 weeks ago, after a very long period of trying out all kinds of therapy, exercise, meditation, diets, lifestyle changes, altering sleep patterns etc - I decided to go down the medicinal route again, and read a research paper, a meta-analysis of the most effective SSRI's out there, where Cipralex was cited as one of the three most effective ones - as the two others aren't available in Norway I went to my doctor (a new one I had gotten last summer as we moved back then) and told him of my situation and the little research I had done, and he agreed that we should give it a go.

    All kinds of brick are written about these medicines, and it seems like a lot of people have a bias towards them. Some for good reason, others not so much. Sure, they can make you feel flat in the long term (the last one I took, Zoloft, made me kind of careless, in a bad way), some experience erectile dysfunction, some can get even worse symptoms for taking them - but the most effective of these medicines do help a lot of people with their symptoms. Read more about the study here:

    https://www.theguardian.com/science...ork-antidepressants-are-effective-study-shows

    Anyway - back to my story. Two weeks after starting taking 10mg of Cipralex I started feeling better. Now, 6 weeks in, I can honestly say I'm feeling better than I have done in probably 15 years. I don't wake up every morning with a feeling of dread, and the same self defeating thoughts spinning in my head. I feel authentic when I greet people I don't know well (I used to feel like a phony), and I also feel like I have a much more genuine interest in other people. My depressive thoughts are down by probably 90% - I very rarely sit and ruminate over pointless little details (before I could sit and ruminate over something I had said to someone two weeks back, and evaluate back and forth what that person might think of me, and how this might affect my this and that later on etc). I don't dread the future anymore. I feel more involved with the things I enjoy and with people around me than I have done these past 15 years. It's like a black veil that has been hanging over me for so many years have just lifted. I've gone on like this for so many years because I've sort of accepted that it's been part of me and who I am, and not really thought it realistic that I could do something about it.

    Now, I'm not saying this is all some miracle drug and I'll be living happily ever after. It's not like I'm walking on air here, but I'm feeling much more robust now than I have before. Stuff that used to upset me still upsets me, but not to the same extent that it used to. I got into a discussion with a colleague the other day, but instead of going straight into black mode (where I usually just become quiet and go "well, that's just your opinion" and go black with rage inside), I stated my point of view clearly and not over exaggerated or with anger, and got the support from lots of people around me (this with a loudmouth of a know-it-all colleague who is basically clueless), and for the first time in ages, it felt like I could say what I really think and feel about something, and I said it with conviction for a change, and people took notice! fudging A! That hasn't happened in a long while. And it's all these other things similar to this, situations where I stand more up for myself, or where I give that little bit extra because I have that little bit extra energy - and it's given life this little extra - I feel like I'm worth something for the first time in ages, like I'm making a tiny bit of difference to other people, and the people that don't like what I say - well, fudge them, I'm not gonna spend time ruminating over it.

    Again, I know it's not some sort of miracle that will make me feel good forever, but it seems to have given me that slight extra barrier of defense, it's like I'm actually standing up for myself instead of beating myself down. And for the first time in probably 15 years I'm actually saying to myself, "I feel well", and I mean it. I look forward to things other than getting drunk watching Spurs (I look forward to that too, of course). That feeling of having that extra barrier of defense is really the key thing to me with this. It's like my brain is trying to help me instead of defeat me. I've been working with all kinds of cognitive therapy approaches, and they do help really well, but I've always had to fight real hard to keep it up, like I'm continously trying to convince myself that I'm not a bad person, even though deep down I've felt like a bad person, or something inside me has said, "sure, you're not bad ... but you know you are". This time that just feels different. There's a robustness added. I still feel quite anxious in social situations I don't like, but in a different way, I don't go on feeling bad about them after they're over, and I don't blame myself for feeling bad, and also, kind of just accept that I'm an introverted guy, and that I don't have to keep a conversation going for the sake of it. It's like I've switched out Gary Doc and Stuart Nethercott for Jan and Toby in my mental back four. :p

    And yeah - not saying you should all go out getting doped up, but maybe not dismiss the medicinal route, if you haven't tried it. I had tried 3 other SSRI's before Cipralex, and none of them were good to me, but this one works. And it's made a world of difference. :) Thanks for making it this far!
     
    Last edited: 23 Mar 2019
  7. monkeybarry

    monkeybarry Terry Venables

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    Might be a bit of a weird question. Just wondering if anyone has a perspective.
    Dating with depression (especially depression fatigue - I'm constantly tired and get energy crashes every four or five weeks. Other than that I mostly have it under control, just a constant slight anxiety. But that's ok, I know it's there.):
    Dating is exhausting. There seems to be a need for constant intense contact. I have to use my energy wisely.

    I don't like the need and exprcexpection of daily contact (seriously, there is no one I want to talk to everyday - not even myself! I don't have time for small talk).

    Anyone got any tips from their experience for dating with depression and anxiety? (I'm not nervous to meet people. But very scared to open myself up.)
     
  8. Robbo

    Robbo Pat van den Hauwe

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    Glad to hear you’re doing better! :)

    Cipralex was my drug too, when I suffered from depression about 10-15 years ago. I had the same experience; it stabilised my mood and made me feel like myself again. Was on it twice, for about 6-7 months each time, with probably 4-5 years i between. The great thing about it in my experience was that the effect didn't wear out when I quit the drug. It stabilised my mood beyond the actual period I was on it, and it was only after a rough period with the death of a close relative and the end of a long relationship that I fell into depression again, and needed help from drugs.

    Since the last time, cirka 2010, I haven't needed Cipralex to cope with my occational down periods and depression (who has never been as bad as it was back then either, knock on wood). I honestly think the drug helped produce some sort of permanent/semi permanent stabilisation to my mind, and I hope you will experience the same. Good luck! :)

    (It had one annoying side effect, though, during sex it was much harder to get an orgasm. But on the plus side it meant I could last much longer. :p)
     
  9. Daisuk

    Daisuk Steffen Iversen

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    Thanks! That's great to hear. :) My doctor said this too, "at least now you know that this is one thing that works". I'll be on it for 6 months and evaluate after that. I think what you're saying is basically what the professionals behind the drugs want these drugs to do, that by using them over a period of time your brain can create some new connections and new pathways that will be lasting beyond taking the meds. Sounds like science fiction, but that's how it's supposed to (and supposedly it does!) work. :) I haven't noticed any effects on the sex life so far, but I've heard this from other people too. I had something similar to what you're describing on Zoloft, it was quite weird. :p
     
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  10. SteveAWOL

    SteveAWOL Jimmy Neighbour

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    Sounds like I might need to pay my GP a visit... as I was prescribed Amitriptyline for migraines and depression a couple of years ago but whilst it does leave me feeling comfortably numb it has done little to elevate my mood.

    I used to be an avid gamer but can’t even recall the last time I felt the enthusiasm to get stuck into anything other than an occasional pickup-and-play title plus I haven’t read a novel cover to cover in yonks and I used to be a right swot in my youth.

    Discovered that several relatives on my mother’s side of the family were diagnosed with clinical depression / BPD decades ago but they quickly gave up on treatment and never spoke of it until a recent episode bought things to light. So I would like to try and deal with my mental health better than they did.
     
  11. Jordinho

    Jordinho John White Staff Member

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    That pretty much describes my experiences of using Cipralex for a few years, so it's not one pill fits all unfortunately. Been off for quite a while now and generally feel good, but there's not much that gets me excited like it used to in the past.
     
  12. SpurMeUp

    SpurMeUp Rafael Van Der Vaart

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    @SteveAWOL and @Jordinho how much do you think it is to do with a condition and how much is just a natural process of maturing; and maybe the effects the internet has on us? You grow out of computer games, and personally I only read books cover to cover when on holiday now. I probably read more than ever, but its more or less all online (bollecks most of it!). I wouldn't invest too much into family histories, as it can be self-fulfilling. Lifestyle and making postive, more active, change is probably what I need! In the last decade the net has revolutionised human behaviours. I think we're still getting to terms with all of its effects.
     
  13. SteveAWOL

    SteveAWOL Jimmy Neighbour

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    Cheers for sharing your experience with Cipralex.

    Guess I’ll just have to try an SSRI for a couple of months and switch to a different one if the benefit doesn’t outweigh side effects, as the melancholy has been particularly bad this winter.

    GP prescribed Fluoxetine back when I struggling at university in late 1990s and Prozac was being hailed as a miracle drug but that gave me such bad gut rot it put me off antidepressants, until I started suffering with migraines a couple of years ago.

    I had to quit playing football due to exercise induced anaphylaxis and the strip lighting at local sports hall would set off migraines, so definitely need to find something new to help get those endorphins going during winter months! The family allotment usually proves to be a decent outlet during the spring & summer at least.
     
  14. 90291Spur

    90291Spur Jimmy Neighbour

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  15. LemonadeMoney

    LemonadeMoney Steffen Iversen

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  16. Jon

    Jon Paul Stalteri

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    Maybe pop a couple of tunes on though....

    #SpecialK
     
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  17. LemonadeMoney

    LemonadeMoney Steffen Iversen

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  18. Danishfurniturelover

    Danishfurniturelover Jack Jull

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    One of our friends 14 year old daughter has just been diagnosed cancer, looks bad.

    Part of my condition is I seem to get things stuck on a loop and get it stuck in my head.

    Keep thinking how lucky I have been compared to her. Then I feel guilty because I have turned something bad about someone else into something about me.

    Not a good night. Done a couple of hours on an exercise bike, exhausted but still can't sleep.

    Hate nights like tonight. It is going to stretch and stretch.
     
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  19. Gilzeantoscore

    Gilzeantoscore Jonathan Woodgate

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    Best thing you could have done given the circumstances. Don''t sweat it mate as I'm sure you will have ample opportunities to provide them with support.
     
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  20. El Guepardo

    El Guepardo Johnny Morrison

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    You and me both do the same. I was told it’s OCD. Once something gets in my head, it’s impossible to shift. It just ruminates until quite often I do something stupid or crack emotionally.

    Sorry about your mate’s daughter. Cancer is one evil clam. Hope she can make a recovery no matter how bad the outlook looks now.

    As for thinking about feeling lucky, I think it’s you appreciate you have a better situation and feel grateful for your health. Sometimes it takes events like this for us to appreciate what we have. Don’t feel guilty but do what you can to support your friends, they will need it now. Be there if needed.
     

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