The poo & guff thread...

[Park Lane James]

I think my record is 5/6 flushes - so bricking out an 8 flusher is mighty fine work! That feeling when you know you've done a big one and it feels like half your lower intestine is coming with it. You are proud of that turd sitting in the basin, you stare at it like a new born baby before letting it go.

Anyway been eating a lot more protein recently and been drinking three pints of whole milk a day to help gain some weight. Started off bricking twice a day which is never used to do. Always relaxing sitting on the bog with your laptop and listening to some tunes. Simple pleasures.

 

[markysimmo]

After drinking from 12 till 3am lastnight the tan brick ive just done was like tarmac, it was very sticky haha

 

[edgey-the-yid]

This ain't any old poo thread! We need to set up some standards!

Next time, please post:
-pics from various angles
-weight (in Courics, of course)
-total length of the coil (if several pieces, add the lengths up)
-interesting tidbits about the turd ("I don't remember eating that...")
-any resemblances or likenesses found in the creases and folds (i.e., "these particular crease patterns bear a remarkable resemblance to Jack Wilbrick's face")
-distinct smells
-the diet that resulted in said poop
-time to completion





p.s. please tell me you've seen the south park episode where Randy breaks the record

Probably one of the best episodes! Even just for the digs at Bono hahaha!

Does anyone else have to lay down a "firemans blanket" before pinching off a gorillas finger!? because I do, not for fear of splashback, but because otherwise I spend ages afterwards scrubbing the skiddies from the bowl!

 

[Park Lane James]

Yea I always lay down a thin layer of bog roll to avoid splash-back and the inevitable 30cm skid marks in the basin!

 

[Dayo]

I've always called it the poo hammock.

 

[Jordinho]

The more sensitive among us will always lay in a thick layer of paper to avoid any splashing noises when using a public toilet. Followed by a quick courtesy flush.

 

[markysimmo]

After drinking from 12 till 3am lastnight the tan brick ive just done was like tarmac, it was very sticky haha

just had hot brick number 5, thank GHod for kandoo's

 

[GlennGoddle]

Has one of your own farts ever made you heave?

Mine have today. That's BBQ ribs/mexican rice/Vindaloo + all the trimmings & about 20 pints over the past 2 days all coming out at once. This mornings dump was painful

 

[tommysvr]

Anyone else suffer from PTN (Public Toilet Nerves)? I can't do it with someone else in there. Makes it an issue if there's someone else in the other stall.

 

[DHSF]

Anyone else suffer from PTN (Public Toilet Nerves)? I can't do it with someone else in there. Makes it an issue if there's someone else in the other stall.

I cant go in for a dump if someone is in the bathroom and sees me walking into a cubicle for a brick. I also cannot walk out till everyone in the bathroom has left as I hate people knowing that I just took a dump. This is specifically when I am at work.

A bit childish etc but fudge it.

I also cannot go for a dump when out on a date etc as I hate the thought that she is thinking im taking a dump. I also have a habit of timing girls when they go to the bathroom (if im on a date or its a girlfriend etc) as im thinkin, any longer than a few minutes and, she is taking a dump which means that if we are gonna have sex i aint gonna get any anal action and she is NOT gonna get any tongue action.

 

[markysimmo]

Number 6 done, my anus is like a Jap flag !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[papaspur]

Number 6 done, my anus is like a Jap flag !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Land of the Rising Bum

 

[markysimmo]

Terrible farts tonight

 

[monkeybarry]

Anyone else suffer from PTN (Public Toilet Nerves)? I can't do it with someone else in there. Makes it an issue if there's someone else in the other stall.

im the opposite - if someone else comes in i try hard to make a good splash
add some extra breathing/straining noises some time too, see if i can freak them out :lol:

 

[El Guepardo]

im the opposite - if someone else comes in i try hard to make a good splash
add some extra breathing/straining noises some time too, see if i can freak them out :lol:

Is that when you are out and about? Instead of being at work. I couldn't care less if people are in the toilets when I go out in public but I am more anxious when going to toilet when I'm at work. I don't want to have anyone that I work with hear me strain one out. Likewise, if I've left a big unflushable one, I don't want people to see me leave lest they know that I'm the one that left it behind. Then again, you can still run in to trouble, as you leave the toilet and see someone coming in. That person will always assume you are the one that left the mess, irrespective of whether true or not.

 

[Jordinho]

The worst about public toilets is when someone's been in there and done a real stinker. Sitting in the stench of someone else's crap is not enjoyable. And of course you'll get the blame by the next person to enter.

 

[tommysvr]

im the opposite - if someone else comes in i try hard to make a good splash
add some extra breathing/straining noises some time too, see if i can freak them out :lol:

I wish I could be like that. When to the bog twice yesterday, only to find someone in one of the two stalls on both occasions. Couldn't do it...held on til I got home.

Maybe I'll give that a shot though...sounds like it would be very satisfying!

 

[monkeybarry]

I wish I could be like that. When to the bog twice yesterday, only to find someone in one of the two stalls on both occasions. Couldn't do it...held on til I got home.

Maybe I'll give that a shot though...sounds like it would be very satisfying!

its great fun! you know youll never see them again (or maybe never see them at all!).

its more fun if the person comes into the toilet (hhhmmmmmm, maybe thats why people like you dont like to me!! sorry!!)
but on the flip side, if someone is already in there (maybe even someone who has taken the chance to pop it out when no one is in the toilet), you can terrorise them!

fun at work too (in large enough companies)

 

[monkeybarry]

The worst about public toilets is when someone's been in there and done a real stinker. Sitting in the stench of someone else's crap is not enjoyable. And of course you'll get the blame by the next person to enter.

that is bad
as is when the seat is still warm (or they have left a pube or a little bit of tinkle on the seat)

 

[Park Lane James]

Anyone else suffer from PTN (Public Toilet Nerves)? I can't do it with someone else in there. Makes it an issue if there's someone else in the other stall.

I'm fine when doing a dump but struggle sometimes with tinkling in a urinal (stage fright) unless I'm bursting for a tinkle. Having a slash at football can take a while sometimes!