1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Dear Guest, Please note that adult content is not permitted on this forum. We have had our Google ads disabled due to some posts that were found from some time ago. Please do not post adult content and if you see any already on the forum, please report the post so that we can deal with it. Thanks, scara
    Dismiss Notice

F**king Spiders

Discussion in 'Randomination' started by DHSF, 3 Aug 2014.

  1. DHSF

    DHSF Les Ferdinand

    Joined:
    14 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    11,669
    Likes Received:
    30
    Now whilst im not fearful of spiders and dont consider myself to have a phobia of s[iders I came head to head last night with the mother of all of them... it was ****ing ridiculous. This was easily four inches big, it looked like it was on steroids and pumped iron for the past six months in readiness for the summer.

    I didnt catch it and dont want to kill it, normally id hoover the ****ers up but not in this case. I am unsure where it is in the flat now im sure its not dangerous but this freakeme out. After research im thinking its a huntsman, certainly looked it.

    I also think spiders are becoming way bigger, they used to be so miniscule but now theyre the size of tarantulas. ****ers.
     
  2. Danishfurniturelover

    Danishfurniturelover Cecil Poynton

    Joined:
    15 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    12,561
    Likes Received:
    5,101
    Location:
    Up your arse
    4 inches, so it was bigger then your penis then that must have been scary, you should see the spiders in Latvia fcuking massive and you know what i fart and they run off problem solved.

    Man up biiitchhhhhhhhhhhh

    :barnet:
     
  3. AVB

    AVB Erik Edman

    Joined:
    18 Sep 2012
    Messages:
    717
    Likes Received:
    92
  4. DHSF

    DHSF Les Ferdinand

    Joined:
    14 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    11,669
    Likes Received:
    30
    ****

    Im sure the guy in AVBs article 'manned up' and look at his big ****ing leg haha. I need to find it as im sure its still in this house.
     
  5. Rock Strongo

    Rock Strongo dodgy Dave Goosegog

    Joined:
    14 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    1,874
    Likes Received:
    867
    Location:
    Oh the fjords, the fjords
    Spiders don't fit in my Noah's ark. Nor do wasps, got stung right in the belly today! Through the haze of pain I cried out "SATAN"!! To which my 4 yr old boy replied: SATAN! Hours later he's at the piano writing a liberetto, turns to and says: this one I'm calling the song of satan.

    Life goes on, Corky Thatcher style.

    Sent fra min HTC One via Tapatalk
     
  6. AuroRaman

    AuroRaman Young-Pyo Lee

    Joined:
    27 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    3,928
    Likes Received:
    1,455
    harryhuntsman.jpg

    This is Harry Huntsman. He lived with me in Sydney and got rid of all the really venomous critters in the house...
     
  7. Seedy Ron

    Seedy Ron Simon Davies

    Joined:
    14 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    5,593
    Likes Received:
    3,199
    False Widow spiders aren't 4 inches, yours sounds more like the tarantula I put through your letterbox, James Bond Dr No style.

    :ross:
     
  8. tommysvr

    tommysvr Niko Kranjcar

    Joined:
    15 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    2,284
    Likes Received:
    304
    Location:
    Osaka via Sydney
    Probably about 6 more of those living in your house without you knowing about it.
     
  9. Mulletperm

    Mulletperm Tim Sherwood

    Joined:
    14 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    3,228
    Likes Received:
    685
    Location:
    Perth...most isolated city in the world.
    [video=youtube_share;bRV4d9LCawU]http://youtu.be/bRV4d9LCawU[/video]
     
  10. Notmegov

    Notmegov Mido

    Joined:
    14 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    3,014
    Likes Received:
    935
    Location:
    Nappy Land
    Is there not some thing about eating spiders in your sleep? or is that a urban myth?
     
  11. Superted

    Superted Jonathan Woodgate

    Joined:
    16 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    4,075
    Likes Received:
    197
    Location:
    Where everybody knows your name
    I got bit by something, assume its a spider. On my bicep. Looked like a pimple at first, then just went massive and red and all sensitive. Calmed down a bit now though.
     
  12. Superted

    Superted Jonathan Woodgate

    Joined:
    16 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    4,075
    Likes Received:
    197
    Location:
    Where everybody knows your name
    Lifted up my outside bench for a clean, and underneath saw a redback with a couple big egg sacs attached to the bench. Gave them a quick squash, but geez I hate those buggers.

    When I bought my first house, opened up the fuse box and saw about 20 different spider eggs in there. Was like something from a horror movie, gave me a fright.
     
  13. AuroRaman

    AuroRaman Young-Pyo Lee

    Joined:
    27 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    3,928
    Likes Received:
    1,455
    When we were living in Homebush there was all sorts happening under the house and in the garden. I have no fear of spiders but seeing a couple of large huntsmans dart out from behind the TV....

    I once had a red back settle in my hoodie for about 4 hours without realising. I only noticed when I felt it come out and crawl up my neck. I miss Australia.
     
  14. AuroRaman

    AuroRaman Young-Pyo Lee

    Joined:
    27 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    3,928
    Likes Received:
    1,455
    Sounds like a White Tail? Or a Black House Spider?
     
  15. AuroRaman

    AuroRaman Young-Pyo Lee

    Joined:
    27 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    3,928
    Likes Received:
    1,455
    Have you ever seen a Funnel Web? I didn't see any in my time in Sydney.
     
  16. Yossarian

    Yossarian Steve Hodge

    Joined:
    14 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    2,105
    Likes Received:
    5
  17. tommysvr

    tommysvr Niko Kranjcar

    Joined:
    15 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    2,284
    Likes Received:
    304
    Location:
    Osaka via Sydney
    Superted is in Adelaide I believe? I think funnel webs are only in Sydney.

    My mum once caught one planning an attack on my sister, who was sleeping on the floor. Managed to put a jam jar over the top of it, and it died in its attack position. For those not aware of that looks like...

    [​IMG]

    Edit: there are other types of funnel webs, but the Sydney one is the most venomous (I think). We used to fish lots of them out of our pool - easily confused with leaves. Also check your shoes too, especially when it has been raining!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sydney_funnel-web_spider

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_funnel-web_spider
     
    Last edited: 7 Aug 2014
  18. AuroRaman

    AuroRaman Young-Pyo Lee

    Joined:
    27 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    3,928
    Likes Received:
    1,455
    If ever there was an animal species that represented the term, 'DON'T F@&K WITH MY S&@T!' The Funnel Web has to be up there.

    That could have been an incredibly painful time for your sister!
     
  19. AuroRaman

    AuroRaman Young-Pyo Lee

    Joined:
    27 Jan 2012
    Messages:
    3,928
    Likes Received:
    1,455
    They are the most venomous but apparently the tree-dwelling funnel web releases more venom when biting. Even when I was living in an apartment in inner Sydders I still checked my shoes!
     
  20. Craig_J

    Craig_J Terry Fenwick

    Joined:
    19 Feb 2012
    Messages:
    2,360
    Likes Received:
    753
    One day spiders will have evolved so much that they WILL take over the world. In fact I bet if we ever find extraterrestrial intelligent life much more developed than us they will be space fairing tarantulas hell bent on enslaving us. They may even catch us in giant jars due to a developed sense of irony.
     

Share This Page