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Canning Town Bingo Club

It's almost as if they're supported entirely by clams.
This is a very good point. Does anyone know a West Ham fan who's not a clam?
I've got a neighbour who could qualify, but I only see him outside the house to say hello, so I can't comment on what he gets up to in his spare time. Apart from that...
 
This is a very good point. Does anyone know a West Ham fan who's not a clam?
I've got a neighbour who could qualify, but I only see him outside the house to say hello, so I can't comment on what he gets up to in his spare time. Apart from that...
I used to date a girl who had a sister that supported them. She was a bit of a taco, but she at least had a job, wasn't racist, homophobic, etc.

She stood out from normal WH fans in that way.
 
This is quite literally my favourite skit of comedy ever, I listened to it the evening after my father died, I listened to it after I got my parkinsons diagnosis. I literally laugh at this no matter what my mood. It is comedy heaven, nothing has ever got close.

When I read some of your posts sometimes, I think of one of Dud's lines from that sketch: "Provocative phucker..."
 
I know lots of decent people who support Spammers and quite a few clams who support Spurs.

Living in Norfa Merica's fourf or fifth largest city and one full of fans passionate about socc - er, football - I can truthfully say I've encountered many Spurs fans as well as greater numbers of Man U or Liverpool fans. Juventus and AC Milan have big fan bases, too. Scores of roaring Ruhrsiders emerge every Weltmeistershaft. There's also scores of other ethicnicities represented in the fans here.

As Big Lebowski's pal, the immortal Walter Sobchak might say, I can get you a Benfica fan by 3 p.m.

On the other hand, Chelsea and ManCity have tiny cliques of support, mostly children who are with them as long as they are winning.

As for West Ham, well, in keeping with the 'west' theme, it's total tumbleweeds out my way. I've only met two people in my life claiming to be West Ham supporters.

The first was a really nice man, a diminutive, bald-headed Cokcney named Eric who joined us on the bus from the 1986 Mexico City World Cup media centre for the ride down to Puebla to watch Italy-South Korea. All he really adored about West Ham was the fact that they played in Upton Park, a place he considered the finest ground to watch English football. He'd have been crushed to see where they are now.

Media gasbag gooner Brian Glanville was also in our group that day and immediately began boring us about how wonderful and superior Highbury was. He was beaten and stuffed into the toilet in the back of the bus. Actually, he was immediately ignored, which was probably less preferable to the pompous boor.

The other occasion came while covering MLS Cup 2017 in Toronto and randomly encountering boyish American soccer TV presenter Max Bretos. He too is a decent guy but he used to boastfully proclaim his allegiance to West Ham while working at FOX Sports. Last time I met him, he was hanging out in a hotel lounge with rising media star and ex-player Hercules Gomez (you'd like him for his very direct, honest manner as an analyst).

When I joked with Max about his West Ham allegiance - to the shocked delight of Gomez - he immediately downplayed his affection for the club. Gomez was all in for ribbing Bretos about this and asked what I knew. I told him Max had often boasted on the dreadful FOX telecasts that he was a diehard Hammerhead, upon which Gomez folded over in his seat with laughter.

Brave, blushing Max immediately tried to downplay his allegiance to WH and said he was actually 'in limbo' while he figured out what other clubs to support.

Other than these two circumstances, not once have I actually encountered in person a live West Ham fan. Not likely to be one of my regrets in life either.
 
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Well, if West Ham's moody fans were hoping there might be changes to improve sightlines in that lunar-crater expanse of a stadium they call home, they are hoping in vain.

UK Athletics has just booked the stadium for July for each of the next six years. They'll still be watching schitty football from the worst seating arrangement in all of England for years to come.
 
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