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Women!

Nigeyman

Nigeyman

Chris Armstrong
currently feeling very flat and a massive downer on the weekend......

everything was going ok today the other half wakes up to find the flowers, chocolates & card.......I go to work....I get nice messages all day....I come home she cooks me steak everything is swell.

then we attend my daughters school play.....on the way back to dropping my daughter off at my ex's. my daughter thanks me for the valentine's card I got her and flowers (I thought being a dad this was a nice thing to do)

Well now my other half is in a stinking mood with me and has gone to bed without too many words....other than she wanted to be the only one I bought flowers for and she is unhappy I didnt put her name in the valentines card to my daughter.

I am so confused??? Am I a complete Ahole???

I mean she is an awesome step-mum to my little girl its just her attitude to things like this really get to me!!!!!

I mean its not like im trying to woo another woman I just thought it was the right thing to do for the two girls in my life! you would think doing this sort of thing would show her Im a sensitive kind of guy....

now I feel like some kind of monster...lolz I have half a mind to wake her up and tell her how selfish she is...the other half of me cant be arsed....

sorry I know this isnt dear deirdre........lolz its just im marrying her in May and things like this just kill my soul.....

sorry guys this is a bit pathetic but It feels better now the words are on screen.......
 
Ah nigey I feel for you man......sh%t like this just sucks the life out of you.

If what happened is as you told it, then I cannot fathom how there is an ounce of anything to get upset, jealous, annoyed, angry, surly, moody about.

Women defy logic and in doing so end up being pathetic........now i'm older any girl that pulls this sh%t reguarly can jog on. Life is too short to waste time on pointless confrontations.
 
Given time to think about it she will realise that she overreacted I'm sure.

Take stock and in the morning just apologise if not including her name upset her as that was not your intention, it was just that you always saw it as a 'dad to his daughter' thing and there was no malice intended.

Then (calmly ;)) explain that whilst you are sorry she got mad it does upset you that she would somehow feel threatened by you having a close bond with your daughter as it means the world to you for her (your daughter) to be a part of the family the two of you are planning to be when you get married.

Failing that, you could always remind her of the fact that she's your GG avatar. That will stroke the ego a bit. :)
 
Nigeyman said:
currently feeling very flat and a massive downer on the weekend......

everything was going ok today the other half wakes up to find the flowers, chocolates & card.......I go to work....I get nice messages all day....I come home she cooks me steak everything is swell.

then we attend my daughters school play.....on the way back to dropping my daughter off at my ex's. my daughter thanks me for the valentine's card I got her and flowers (I thought being a dad this was a nice thing to do)

Well now my other half is in a stinking mood with me and has gone to bed without too many words....other than she wanted to be the only one I bought flowers for and she is unhappy I didnt put her name in the valentines card to my daughter.

I am so confused??? Am I a complete Ahole???

I mean she is an awesome step-mum to my little girl its just her attitude to things like this really get to me!!!!!

I mean its not like im trying to woo another woman I just thought it was the right thing to do for the two girls in my life! you would think doing this sort of thing would show her Im a sensitive kind of guy....

now I feel like some kind of monster...lolz I have half a mind to wake her up and tell her how selfish she is...the other half of me cant be arsed....

sorry I know this isnt dear deirdre........lolz its just im marrying her in May and things like this just kill my soul.....

sorry guys this is a bit pathetic but It feels better now the words are on screen.......
Click to expand...


I'm going to be completely honest with you mate. If my girlfriend reacted in that way, after i gave my daughter a card (hypothetically speaking as i don't have a daughter btw).....well i wouldn't be best pleased. In fact, i would call her out on it and inform her that she's acting like the most pathetic person on Earth. If i'm being honest again, the fact that she's actually comfortable enough to behave in this manor is a worry.

I was actually going to start a thread regarding women but i guess i might as well use this one. Won't throw my question out there yet, though.
 
stinkfoot said:
Given time to think about it she will realise that she overreacted I'm sure.

Take stock and in the morning just apologise if not including her name upset her as that was not your intention, it was just that you always saw it as a 'dad to his daughter' thing and there was no malice intended.

Then (calmly ;)) explain that whilst you are sorry she got mad it does upset you that she would somehow feel threatened by you having a close bond with your daughter as it means the world to you for her (your daughter) to be a part of the family the two of you are planning to be when you get married.

Failing that, you could always remind her of the fact that she's your GG avatar. That will stroke the ego a bit. :)
Click to expand...

Ah man, Nigeyman you've lost in life if you actually do that.
 
Are you sure that's what she's reacting to though? Sounds like she's ****ed off at something else, to be honest. It just doesn't make much sense, even for a pre-menstrual woman, to be ****ed off at something like that.
 
no there's nothing else......wrong were going through the motions pf putting the final pieces of our wedding day together......as i said everything was great yesterday and then she hears that and her face falls like a stone....you know that look when a woman is pi**ed.

thing is with my daughters birthday & crimbo she generally takes over so I feel I cant just buy my daughter something out of the blue for fear of her blowing her top....the other day I won £150 at the bookies from a £5 stake (my daughter said 1-0 ade) so I split the winnings three ways giving my daughter £50.....she had a go at me for that as well;)

The smorning im just off to work.....so the first thing she says to me is we are not celebrating Valentines day anymore!!!!!!!! just that....I havent said anything........

in truth I would normally follow stinkfoots advice but this has made me really mad and im more inclined to follow kd's line and call her effin pathetic! (thats how I feel inside...)
 
Nigey - its obviously an insecurity issue than anything else. Why? I dont know. Its all about attention and your attention is split somewhat which makes her feel inadequate. Like I say not sure why as I think you have done nothing wrong and its your other half making a big deal about something that is not even there. I wont say she is pathetic but I think that she is ;) apologies if im out of turn by saying that.
 
Nigeyman said:
no there's nothing else......wrong were going through the motions pf putting the final pieces of our wedding day together......as i said everything was great yesterday and then she hears that and her face falls like a stone....you know that look when a woman is pi**ed.

thing is with my daughters birthday & crimbo she generally takes over so I feel I cant just buy my daughter something out of the blue for fear of her blowing her top....the other day I won £150 at the bookies from a £5 stake (my daughter said 1-0 ade) so I split the winnings three ways giving my daughter £50.....she had a go at me for that as well;)

The smorning im just off to work.....so the first thing she says to me is we are not celebrating Valentines day anymore!!!!!!!! just that....I havent said anything........

in truth I would normally follow stinkfoots advice but this has made me really mad and im more inclined to follow kd's line and call her effin pathetic! (thats how I feel inside...)
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Mate, I'd sort this out quickly. She's obviously jealous of the bond you have with your daughter. Unchecked and once married this will multiply to the point where you have a massive problem, as she will then consider you to ber "hers".
Sit her down and talk it through calmly and rationally. And expect fireworks from her.
Good luck!
 
yeah, that doesn't sound right, it's your daughter for christs sake

I know women can be irrational but this is above and beyond, you need to get to the bottom of this, but tread carefully
 
Nigeyman said:
no there's nothing else......wrong were going through the motions pf putting the final pieces of our wedding day together......as i said everything was great yesterday and then she hears that and her face falls like a stone....you know that look when a woman is pi**ed.

thing is with my daughters birthday & crimbo she generally takes over so I feel I cant just buy my daughter something out of the blue for fear of her blowing her top....the other day I won £150 at the bookies from a £5 stake (my daughter said 1-0 ade) so I split the winnings three ways giving my daughter £50.....she had a go at me for that as well;)

The smorning im just off to work.....so the first thing she says to me is we are not celebrating Valentines day anymore!!!!!!!! just that....I havent said anything........

in truth I would normally follow stinkfoots advice but this has made me really mad and im more inclined to follow kd's line and call her effin pathetic! (thats how I feel inside...)
Click to expand...

This doesn't worry you? being that you're about to marry her?

I'd have it out with her and let her know exactly how much your daughter means to you, and TELL HER to not behave in such a pathetic manor again.
 
It's not right.

How long have you been together?
I an understand if she is still trying to adapt to being a step mum and feels threatened. Doesn't excuse her action and she needs to solve it, but it would add a level of understanding for the action.

Otherwise, I think you need to tell her it is not acceptable to you. Maybe she feels cut out in some way?
Must be a tricky balance at times for all involved.

The valentines thing I could put down to feeling marginalized (although I don't agree).
But the bet just seems odd. Three ways seems very sensible in that regard. (But if she is starting to feel left out, use it to fund something for the three of you together next time?)
 
Borderline Personality Disorder - get out while you still can. Women like that can suck the life out of you.
 
Not sure about the £50 thing but I suspect that to her - your daughter is still a tie to your ex-wife and thus gifts like the flowers will in her mind mean that you are giving them to your ex (if that makes sense). Perhaps in her head you treating your daughter with gifts makes your ex still think fondly of you - perhaps this makes her feel insecure as she may feel that a positive bond existing could mean you could still get back together (afterall, you also have a daughter linking you).

If your ex hates you, maybe your gf/fiance would feel more comfortable and less insecure (I'm assuming she doesn't hate you!).

It will seem irrational to you and no doubt will feel irrational to your gf/fiance too but she may not be able shake off the feeling.

If the above is the reasoning then how do you solve the problem? Have a child with your gf/fiance? Will that mean your daughter is alienated by her in the future?

It is tricky but I think the best way is to sit down and talk to her. In no way - change what type of dad you are to your daughter!
 
Been single for almost five years now and this thread reminded me why I will never enter into a relationship with a woman again! I'm prepared to admit that they scare me. This sounds like the typical mind games they play. She will probably have the temerity to accuse you of ruining 'her special day.' There is nothing about living with a woman that I miss...nothing!
 
I'm afraid to say that this sounds familiar, my ex seemed a like a similar personality type.... All I will say is that she unlikely to change, and this is an issue that needs to be resolved.
 
She thought she was special.

But you gave someone else the same which made it less special.

Next time.. make sure the women in your life trumps the daughter from a previous relationship. Just send a card next time to the daughter.

People talk about alpha males and alpha females, she feels she should be the alpha female. Which to be honest she should be, but you have placed her on the same level, which in your head there is no level as you love each the same, but to her there is levels.

Simples. :lol:

Regarding the bet.. next time set the criterias before game action
 
don't agree with that superhudd, no one trumps your daughter, ever

a woman getting jealous of a mans children is inexcusable, she needs to grow up
 
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