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The poo & guff thread...

Mine have been a real let down lately. I was a regular a dump a day person but the last two weeks i've hardly been eating and so now i've become a two dayer. My farts are non existent too. Such a waste.

Cider last night which can be a bit of a laxative, good dump this morning when I got up, bran flakes for breakfast and another dump about an hour ago, I'm standing up to type this as I have an arse like a Japanese flag.
 
Does anyone else need a brick after having a coffee in the morning? often it stirs up my bowels in the morning, resulting in an absolute clear out. Feels great
 
Does anyone else need a brick after having a coffee in the morning? often it stirs up my bowels in the morning, resulting in an absolute clear out. Feels great

Not instant, filter clears me out though. The words needle and bricking spring to mind.
 
Does anyone else need a brick after having a coffee in the morning? often it stirs up my bowels in the morning, resulting in an absolute clear out. Feels great

Oh my...when I make the right cup of fresh ground, hand-filtered morning fog lifter, I can time the excursion-for-explosion to approx 70 mins later. It's like a blender in there, and yes, the pipes get cleaned out for sure. At those moments I find myself thanking whoever that a) I don't believe in reincarnation and that b) if I did, thank christ I couldn't be reincarnated as a toilet...
 
I've got really bad liquid bricks at the moment, not diarrhoea but u know the liquid ones where when u fart u brick yourself.

I think it's because all I'm really eating is cup of soups and drinking water?
 
GG is a classy place friend, we don't do stories about bricking on trains here :-k

Sincerely hope you haven't shat yourself on a train, that is a disaster situation.
 
Went to lift a box off the floor whilst working with a female co worker today and as I crouched down I let out a short swift cheerful sounding BBRRRPP by accident. The only way I could think of covering my tracks was to say "Whoops, that wasn't meant to happen, did you see where that duck went?" I think she bought it although the laughing makes me think otherwise.
 
Went to lift a box off the floor whilst working with a female co worker today and as I crouched down I let out a short swift cheerful sounding BBRRRPP by accident. The only way I could think of covering my tracks was to say "Whoops, that wasn't meant to happen, did you see where that duck went?" I think she bought it although the laughing makes me think otherwise.
Doing squats at the gym can be a bit dodgy as well. I had someone to spot me on a heavy set yeseverytimeterday and I went down to the bottom I felt like letting out a massive ripper - managed to hold it in though.

I brick everyday now that I eat about 3000+ calories a day and a brick load of protein.
 
Cant beat pebble-dashing the pan first thing in the morning at work. Just before the cleaner gets in. She certainly earns her £6.19 per hour cleaning up that mess! :)
 
I made it, but there was a fart that turned into brick, but only minute. Made the meeting too, but need to go again soon...

Sorry to lower the class!

Liverpool street you have to pay as well, GHod help me if I happen to be there when a train is delayed and no change.
 
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