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The poo & guff thread...

This has gone a bit quiet of late.

I have just done a quiet, wet and GHod awful smelly fart that smells like I have brick myself.

I need to go to the toilet but need to get this smell around my office so I can see the shocked face of one of my colleagues.
 
I'm disappointed with myself. I'm currently sitting on the toilet curling one out in my lunch hour. Waste! Why couldn't I wait until 2pm and use office time!

Still, at least I get to post about it whilst curling one out. The stench is horrific. we have an outside unisex toilet and an internal one also but it's right next to my desk basically so everyone can see how long you've been in there.
 
I just had me very own toilet re-enactment of dambusters, hit the water like a bloody bouncing bomb and is sitting on the basin. A few more flushes and the blighter will be gone I hope
 
Dunno what's going on with my arse lately but the aftermath is like clearing up an oil spill with a flannel
 
Stopped having milk and the poo has more or less returned to normality. Lactose intolerant at 35, i assume i have been for a few years.

Using Goats milk for cereal occasionally now and that is fine.
 
GinolaGinolaGinola said:
I'm disappointed with myself. I'm currently sitting on the toilet curling one out in my lunch hour. Waste! Why couldn't I wait until 2pm and use office time!

Still, at least I get to post about it whilst curling one out. The stench is horrific. we have an outside unisex toilet and an internal one also but it's right next to my desk basically so everyone can see how long you've been in there.
Click to expand...

I walk in carrying a book with my head held high.

Own that brick GGG! :cool:
 
I can't go at the moment. It's not that I don't need to, I just can't, it's too painful. I haven't been since Saturday and i'm constantly walking around like i'm about to brick myself.
 
Just moved into The Leadenhall Building with work, I have to say the new toilets are incredible,every fart echo's brilliantly I just cannot stop laughing when I'm in there

The apoostics employed are guffmendous
 
I was out running yesterday, half way through I desperately needed a poo, but of course you can't go out when running...luckily I held on but was a massively messy poo, that I had, when I got home! Very much like poo butter, the consistency at least, and felt like I still needed to go, even after I'd been. Nasty Mr Hanky!
 
I blocked the toilet yesterday 10 minutes before leaving the house. I coudn't just leave it and see to it later as we had visitors.
My arm became some sort of U Blender as I frantically whisked whatever I could reach and 5 minutes later with the help of a touch and fresh nobody was none the wiser as to what had happened. I knew though, I knew.
 
Just had a moment of peace at the office and decided it was time to get out some pork. Out came 2 perfectly shaped twin turds! I was quite pleased. No wipe. Should have taken a picture, but I was so proud I totally forgot.
 
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