Laziness and lack of energy

[Danishfurniturelover]

Lack of time is my problem, not energy. I could do with a few more hours in the day (to replace the time I spend procrastinating in here).

Hey this is a family website, please do that sort of thing elsewhere, jeez.

 

[Daisuk]

Have you tried getting to the root of your little ones nightmares?

You have my sympathy, as others have said diet and better sleep can help and are important for all round health.

I have noticed some of the youngsters, late teens where I work have no energy and complain about it, but I think a lot of the problem with them is they stay up late playing their computer games. We were discussing it in the staff room the other day and they said about their tiredness, I asked one young lad whether he masturbated a lot as that can make you tired.

Turns out it is not acceptable to ask young boys whether they masturbate a lot and I got a talking to by the manager, seems that as I am considered generally a nice guy if a little odd I got away with it.

Anyway do you masturbate a lot?

Haha, so many things you're not allowed to do in this world, even innocent things. I'm not sure it's nightmares exactly, but he just wakes up and whines and sobs for a bit until we calm him down. He's had real nightmares where he'll wake up and scream and is beyond himself with fear, but the twelve o clock wake ups aren't anywhere near that. Not sure what causes it.

I knock one out (love that expression) about once a day usually (sometimes I forget and other times maybe two or even three times, if I'm home alone and get into a bit of a toss-a-thon, haha, but that's very rare), so I wouldn't say a lot.

I'm pretty sure it's a mixture of winter, less exercise, had a bit of a bad diet this past week (there's sweet brick everywhere, and I just can't resist), and dipping in and out of this depression thing I have going (that one has been better for the past couple of weeks though, but the physical symptoms can sometimes stick with you for a while longer).

Anyways, lots of great replies in this thread now. Thanks for all the input, people!

 

[Daisuk]

Concur with the exercise advice, if you’re lucky enough to have a gym at work then before after or even during lunch hour has made it feel like less of a chore for me as I’ve already made the journey and it feels less like an invasion of my own time. Fail that 5 aside is the other thing that works for me, but scara’s suggestion of doing something while watching tv is something I’ve been thinking about as it makes total sense. I see there’s this Peloton thing that around now which looks like it has a screen that comes with the exercise bike and has online group spin sessions with a live trainer and stores your stats.I’ve found classes make me do more through an instructor pushing me and to avoid the embarrassment of quitting early!

Sleep is priceless too, I’m a light sleeper with a five year old. In the case of the recurring nightmare, it sounds like a habit has been built up that ends with the little one getting a comforting. It’s a hard thing to do but when they are young it is recommended that you Ferber them, letting them cry for longer and longer intervals until the dependency / reward for crying is removed. Does your son have the nightmares when he’s with his grandparents too? It will be hard to enforce but the short term pain will be worth it.

The other thing amongst all the good advice in here is diet - some foods, especially the stuff that people our age were bought up on can have a draining effect especially if you aren’t moving around enough, bread, pasta etc. And if you drink caffeine a lot maybe try and reduce / switch out especially closer to bed time.

Yeah, an exercise bike and watching a bit of decent TV is very good advice, actually. I need to find one of those. The wife never want to watch Rick and Morty for instance, could be a decent way for me to catch up on stuff I want to watch that she doesn't want to watch and getting exercise, win win. Edit - just talked to my dad, he's not using his exercise bike anymore, so I'm getting it, yeah.

It might just be a bad habit with the twelve o clock. The thing is, like last night, he'll just wake up a bit, sob for a bit (it's more like whining or complaining), and then he'll go quiet. We don't always need to comfort him, but I always wake up when he does that. So even if I can just stay in bed, he wakes me up and I need to figure out how to fall asleep again.

My diet isn't always great. Got too much of a sweet tooth, but I do eat a lot of vegetables pretty much every day (comes with the territory of being a veggie).

 

[Gutter Boy]

We’re not designed. We evolved. And for a good few hundred generations, the vast majority of us were exploited as sweated labour.

Humans are perfectly well equipped to work for most of the time when they aren’t asleep. It’s great that we’ve got that down to 35 hours or so, no need to fabulate statistics to halve it again.

Anyway. Life just gets much, much easier when children turn into bedroom-bound, surly teenagers who no longer need to be entertained.

The 17 hours is based on pre-agrarian societies. But evolutionary physiologists generally think we haven't really adapted properly beyond that. The same as we don't process carbohydrates as well as a meat and fruit diet, or still have larks and owls.

But humans definitely still function optimally doing 17 hours in intense bursts, rather than 35-40 hours of grind.

 

[Moby]

Yeah, it probably is. I normally exercise quite a lot (bike to work every day, which gives me roughly 30 mins of workout every week day, and I also play hockey once a week as well as the occasional round of squash), but winter time is always bad as there are all kinds of obstacles getting in the way of exercising regularly (biking to work becomes almost impossible with lots of snow, for instance). I have my dumbells lying around here, and tend to use them in bursts of 2-3 weeks at a time, until I get bored and forget about them. Maybe the exercise bike isn't such a bad idea - I was actually thinking about that the other day, and especially combining it with watching or listening to something I'd enjoy would be rather nice. Good tip! Thanks!

@the dza - yeah, sleep is probably also a big issue here. Ever since we got our son 3 and a half year ago, sleep has just been at a premium. It's been a little bit better this last year, but I still only get about 5 hours a night, and very often my son will wake up at least once in the middle of the night, and I'll spend some time comforting him and spend more time trying to fall asleep again (the wife is always in a coma when sleeping). We've tried going to bed at earlier hours, but my son will always, without exception, have a sort of nightmare between 2330 and 0030 every fudging day where he'll just need a bit of comforting - so going to bed at 22 for instance is just pointless. And then he always wakes up at around 6. Thankfully we have grandparents close to where we live, and they have him sleeping over usually about every other week, so we get to sleep a bit, but damn, sleep deprived - oh yes.

@Jon - how old are your kids? We've been sort of pondering getting a second, but it also feels like something we really shouldn't do considering the current situation of just constantly moping about not getting enough sleep or having energy for anything meaningful.

The toddler is 2 years 9 months, and the new one is 4 months.

Not going to lie, it’s bloody hard. All worth it for the obvious reasons of why you want offspring of course. But extremely bloody hard.
At 45 though, I couldn’t really leave it a lot longer. (Caveat - unless you are a billionaire and Mick Jagger)

 

[Moby]

Works everytime.

Seriously though like others have said a fitness routine is a good thing.

I do wonder if the copious amounts of class As I used to enjoy at the weekend, are somehow responsible for the health issues I now suffer in later life.
Guess they can’t be, otherwise there would surely be some warnings or something about taking them!...

 

[MKSpur]

@Daisuk One other thing as a fellow light sleeper - have you ever tried ear plugs? The silicone ones are pretty effective and might stop you being the one to wake when the little one murmurs and enjoy the ignorant bliss heavier sleepers enjoy?! There might be other minor noises that wake you up that this might help you with.

 

[Moby]

My diet has gone to brick in recent months, since I had my gallbladder removed in april I’ve kind of taken the handbreak off and am back into the sugar in a big way.

It’s shame, as when I was suffering before, I had my diet nailed - totally healthy, and lost 3 stone effortlessly.

I’ve retained some of the good habits since (no caffeine & stayed veggie). But beer and sugar are back, and two stone has crept back on.

Going to try ditching the beers now, and also try to reign back in the chocolate, cakes and biscuits. Just so hard when the kids are grinding you down though - the body and mind craves quick energy release sugary satisfaction! I know fruit is an option, but somehow I just prefer the fix of 3 chocolate bars and a packet of Viennese fingers.

 

[Spursman]

Good thread, i also have a nearly 2 year old and ill have a new born come March. I expect things to get much, much harder. The little one sleeps quite well. Took about 16 months before he slept through the night, so i know the feeling. Luckily my Mrs sorts him out but he still wakes me up. Some days 5am, on average its 6am. This morning he woke up at 6:45 which was lovely.

my advise like most have said

Get a blood test
Exercise
Eat better
sleep longer (not always possible)
Try tell yourself you have energy. If you keep telling yourself you're tired, you'll always be tired.

 

[parklane1]

I do wonder if the copious amounts of class As I used to enjoy at the weekend, are somehow responsible for the health issues I now suffer in later life.
Guess they can’t be, otherwise there would surely be some warnings or something about taking them!...

Sex and drugs and rock and roll as Ian said are the way to go.

 

[Daisuk]

The 17 hours is based on pre-agrarian societies. But evolutionary physiologists generally think we haven't really adapted properly beyond that. The same as we don't process carbohydrates as well as a meat and fruit diet, or still have larks and owls.

But humans definitely still function optimally doing 17 hours in intense bursts, rather than 35-40 hours of grind.

Oh, I'm feeling this! I generally like doing work, whatever it is, be it simple carry this from here to there, or sit in meetings, talk to and deal with clients (patients in my instance), do research etc. But in intense bursts! I love working intensely on something for say 3 or 4 hours, but after that, I'm done, and find it hard to be particularly efficient. Working 8 hours a day, I can see its needed in a lot of instances, but I think most people would get their jobs done with seriously less time. I spend a lot of my time chit chatting flimflam with my Co workers, for instance, because its expected, and it often interferes with work. I can sit down with a report trying to write it up, and be constantly interrupted by Co workers who are just yapping on about whatever. Not very efficient. I could easily do my job in half the time I'm at work, if it weren't for all the flimflam in between brick you're expected to do (like entertain Co workers). And for me, you just simply have to be there for the 8 hours, to take the phone, be available to patients etc. So even though I'm probably efficiently working around 4 of the 8 hours I'm at work, more or less, I just have to physically be at that place.

I would love love love a job where you simply get a goal on which objectives to get done during a week, and when it's done, you're done for the week. At my job, if you're done with your brick, you either have to come up with new brick to do, help other people who are slow with their brick or fudging clean or read some flimflam reports or whatever. So inefficient and frustrating!

 

[Daisuk]

@Daisuk One other thing as a fellow light sleeper - have you ever tried ear plugs? The silicone ones are pretty effective and might stop you being the one to wake when the little one murmurs and enjoy the ignorant bliss heavier sleepers enjoy?! There might be other minor noises that wake you up that this might help you with.

I've tried all kinds of earplugs, but find it hard to relax with them in. It's too quiet, and I can hear my own heart too well (which I just don't like). I actually need to have the window open and have that slightly low buzz/hum from outside to be able to sleep. Might seem ironic, since I'm a light sleeper, but that's how it is.

 

[Moby]

I've tried all kinds of earplugs, but find it hard to relax with them in. It's too quiet, and I can hear my own heart too well (which I just don't like). I actually need to have the window open and have that slightly low buzz/hum from outside to be able to sleep. Might seem ironic, since I'm a light sleeper, but that's how it is.

Have you tried white noise off your phone? Loads of tracks on streaming services nowadays.

 

[Daisuk]

Have you tried white noise off your phone? Loads of tracks on streaming services nowadays.

I've tried pink noise, actually! It's not really for me, just having stuff in my ears when trying to sleep is a no no. I reckon figuring out how to get my son not to wake up at around midnight is key to getting just that little extra sleep needed. Not entirely sure what to do about it, but maybe we can try not responding to him (although I fully expect him to just up the noise and get what he wants eventually, hehe).

 

[Spursman]

I've tried all kinds of earplugs, but find it hard to relax with them in. It's too quiet, and I can hear my own heart too well (which I just don't like). I actually need to have the window open and have that slightly low buzz/hum from outside to be able to sleep. Might seem ironic, since I'm a light sleeper, but that's how it is.

if you sleep on your side, wear them in one ear and you wont hear your heart. The pillow will block out some noise.

 

[Gutter Boy]

Oh, I'm feeling this! I generally like doing work, whatever it is, be it simple carry this from here to there, or sit in meetings, talk to and deal with clients (patients in my instance), do research etc. But in intense bursts! I love working intensely on something for say 3 or 4 hours, but after that, I'm done, and find it hard to be particularly efficient. Working 8 hours a day, I can see its needed in a lot of instances, but I think most people would get their jobs done with seriously less time. I spend a lot of my time chit chatting flimflam with my Co workers, for instance, because its expected, and it often interferes with work. I can sit down with a report trying to write it up, and be constantly interrupted by Co workers who are just yapping on about whatever. Not very efficient. I could easily do my job in half the time I'm at work, if it weren't for all the flimflam in between brick you're expected to do (like entertain Co workers). And for me, you just simply have to be there for the 8 hours, to take the phone, be available to patients etc. So even though I'm probably efficiently working around 4 of the 8 hours I'm at work, more or less, I just have to physically be at that place.

I would love love love a job where you simply get a goal on which objectives to get done during a week, and when it's done, you're done for the week. At my job, if you're done with your brick, you either have to come up with new brick to do, help other people who are slow with their brick or fudging clean or read some flimflam reports or whatever. So inefficient and frustrating!

I think everyone basically does it. Blitz a report at work for 90 minutes, hour downtime on GG. And repeat. No one actually works 7/8 hours a day, unless you are literally in some kind of gulag camp being beaten if you start to slack off. Your brain and body isn't setup for it.

It comes from 95% of human history (until the last few hundred generations) of being hunters. Few hours chasing and killing prey, then sit around for a day or two eating it and chilling.

It needs wider recognition that quantity at work doesn't equal quality/productivity, and that the outcomes of 17 hours can be greater than 35.

 

[Bullet]

I think everyone basically does it. Blitz a report at work for 90 minutes, hour downtime on GG. And repeat. No one actually works 7/8 hours a day, unless you are literally in some kind of gulag camp being beaten if you start to slack off. Your brain and body isn't setup for it.

It comes from 95% of human history (until the last few hundred generations) of being hunters. Few hours chasing and killing prey, then sit around for a day or two eating it and chilling.

It needs wider recognition that quantity at work doesn't equal quality/productivity, and that the outcomes of 17 hours can be greater than 35.

Utter bullsh1t

Your posts are so aggravating, almost every single one is full of bullsh1t stats and sweeping generalisations

Plenty of people work very hard every day for >8 hours

Full concentration, doing 2 things at once, things piling up while you're steaming through the current pile of work, skip lunch, skip meetings to fit in more work, stay late.

Jeez

 

[Gutter Boy]

Utter bullsh1t

Your posts are so aggravating, almost every single one is full of bullsh1t stats and sweeping generalisations

Plenty of people work very hard every day for >8 hours

Full concentration, doing 2 things at once, things piling up while you're steaming through the current pile of work, skip lunch, skip meetings to fit in more work, stay late.

Jeez

But then you perform like Kane after a 70 game season slog, rather than Kane fresh back from an injury-enforced absence. It's about optimum performance

The science is form the evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar - I've read quite a bit of his stuff/been to his seminars

 

[r-u-s-x]

But then you perform like Kane after a 70 game season slog, rather than Kane fresh back from an injury-enforced absence. It's about optimum performance

The science is form the evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar - I've read quite a bit of his stuff/been to his seminars

you cant make a hypothesis fact just because its something you want to believe. I like Dunbar and he has some very good ideas, they are not proven.

 

[ShipOfTheseus]

I won a contract a couple of weeks ago which is a significant pivot for my business, meaning that I have to work on a customer site full time after three years of working in a very relaxed way from the spare bedroom. That means getting up at least an hour earlier. I’ve had to close down and finish existing contracts and commitments which has meant a lot of weekend and evening work, and I’ve needed to get up to speed with the new gig very quickly and deliver a fair bit before Xmas.

Whatever Gutter Boy says, this level of work would be fine. It means that all my internet procrastination is axed, but that’s okay. It’s nice getting money.

The problem is that I’m suddenly not sleeping. Don’t understand it at all. I had all sorts of business worries before but slept like a baby. Now I’m busier, but with a much more secure opportunity, and I’m up three or four times in the night for a tinkle, not dropping off, and only managing four or five hours altogether. Certainly don’t have time to check whether it’s a prostate thing, and am just hoping everything goes back to normal in the new year. There will definitely be a lack of energy penalty if things carry on like this, though.