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Im John Le Carre

Discussion in 'Randomination' started by Danishfurniturelover, 21 Sep 2019.

  1. Danishfurniturelover

    Danishfurniturelover Ian Walker

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    Up your arse
    So we lost the spare key, which was kept in the shed underneath the shoe cleaning kit. I turned the whole fcuking place upside down and inside out. So eventually found the spare key in the wifes car when i was cleaning it this week.

    So what I did was hide the key under the onion bag in the shed to test the wife.

    She went into the shed tonight to get some onions, to get to the bag she moved by bicycle. Came in the house and said she had found the spare key and that it had dropped out of the bag on my handlebars when she moved the bike.

    Now because part of my illness has been mood swings I am not now allowed to react to anything, well men in general are not allowed to react when women play there stupid fcuking games.

    Anyway just wanted to do a quick straw poll,

    should I kill the cnut?


    genuine question.
     
    LemonadeMoney and Rock Strongo like this.
  2. Seedy Ron

    Seedy Ron Vedran Corluka

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    Hiding the spare key under the onions is probably more Colin Forbes than John Le Carre tbh.
     
    Bedfordspurs likes this.
  3. Danishfurniturelover

    Danishfurniturelover Ian Walker

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    Right your on the list as well now.

    Who is Colin Forbes?
     
  4. Rock Strongo

    Rock Strongo dodgy Dave Goosegog

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    Oh the fjords, the fjords
    You should defo sign her up for sky diving classes, bungee jumping and the Cliffs of Dover free climbing challenge .

    Sent fra min SM-G960F via Tapatalk
     
  5. Jon

    Jon Edgar Davids

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    If she can lie so easily about that, it would make me wonder what else she’s been capable of lying about down the years....

    Anyway, what are you doing cleaning her car?!! She can pay people to do that sort of brick nowadays.
     
  6. Jon

    Jon Edgar Davids

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    PS - did John le Carre hide keys under bags on onions then? I’m yet to read him, but the premise isn’t the most captivating at first mention.
     
  7. galeforce

    galeforce Teddy Sheringham

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    have you not read tinker, tailor, soldier, the little drummer spy who came in from cold after hiding the keys under the onions?
     
  8. galeforce

    galeforce Teddy Sheringham

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    And in a le Carre thread, shouldn’t we all be using :);):(:confused::mad::cool::p:D:eek::rolleyes:o_O people?
     
    Robbo, glasgowspur, milo and 2 others like this.
  9. LemonadeMoney

    LemonadeMoney Pedro Mendes

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    Is this thread a real life Bandersnatch?
    I'm going to choose yes.
     
  10. Jon

    Jon Edgar Davids

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    Ah yes! Well, I caught the musical anyway.
     
    galeforce likes this.
  11. ShipOfTheseus

    ShipOfTheseus Steve Hodge

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    The key probably fell onto to the ground when she moved the onions and she assumed it had tumbled from the handlebar bag because what weirdo would conceal a key under onions? She comes out of this rather better than you do, to be honest.

    And now you will be triggered whenever a commentator says something trite about hitting the bottom of the onion bag.
     
    Bullet likes this.
  12. galeforce

    galeforce Teddy Sheringham

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    unless she hid the key in the car, knowing he would find it whilst cleaning...
     
  13. ShipOfTheseus

    ShipOfTheseus Steve Hodge

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    Shoe cleaning kits should live in the cupboard under the stairs and onions should live in the larder, so for all we know they keep keys, glasses and wallets in the car anyway, as a matter of course.
     
    Seedy Ron likes this.
  14. LemonadeMoney

    LemonadeMoney Pedro Mendes

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    Lynda La Plante?
     
  15. galeforce

    galeforce Teddy Sheringham

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    deserves more than one like
     
  16. Danishfurniturelover

    Danishfurniturelover Ian Walker

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    But the key was directly under the bag of onions. She must have known.

    I have known for many years the whole world is against me. Now I have my smoking gun.
     
  17. Danishfurniturelover

    Danishfurniturelover Ian Walker

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    The shoe cleaning kit used to live in the utility room. She moved it to the shed because and i quote, chemicals.

    The onions are in the shed with everything else she brings back from the allotment she shares with her friend. I won't have them in the house till we cook them as they pong too much.
     
  18. ShipOfTheseus

    ShipOfTheseus Steve Hodge

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    Fair enough. I used to make Mrs SoT eat epoisse in the shed.
     
  19. Danishfurniturelover

    Danishfurniturelover Ian Walker

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    Been to a few parties like that myself.
     
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  20. monkeybarry

    monkeybarry Michael Carrick

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    I'm more concerned about having a bag on onions in the shed? Why?! And how big is the bag of onions? And what was cooking? And why didn't you lock her in the shed?
     
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