I'm going to be a daddy

[thingonaspring]

Where has the big gay bear thing gone?

Oh, he's not been around for awhile... but I saw him the other day

 

[parklane1]

With a son and daughter freshly graduated from university and now happily and gainfully employed and moved out the house, let me say this to new parents: Enjoy it all because it's amazing how quickly it all whizzes by. You have from childbirth to the age of 12 to be a formative presence. After that, it's more about being supportive and encouraging of what they think because self determination kicks in then.

Nothing marks the ever-hastening passage of time like watching kids leave home. No sooner have they grown to become more than your children - your best friends in so many ways - and they're off. I hardly got enough time to borrow my son's cool shirts before he packed them off to his new apartment. Thankfully, he drops by for dinner every week or two and we swap notes often on music and sports.

But it seems like yesterday I was dropping him or my daughter off for ice hockey or soccer or swimming practices and sitting 'round sharing coffee and stories with other parents. Man, those were good times.

What else have I learned?

- It's great not to know the gender of the first-born child. That's a wonderful surprise. But once more start to arrive, it's good to know in advance, if possible, just so as to be able to plan properly for days ahead.

- It was great to ring the bell so promptly once my wife and I decided to start a family. It was even better not to ring the bell so quickly the second time around. The first time, I was working hard to keep her happy. The second time, she worked even harder to keep me happy before I eventually chose to make her pregnant again. It can be challenging to deal with some lean spells in the sack while a young family is happening. So bank some good memories and don't let the romance cool. It does get good again and it's pretty good these days being an empty nester. My wife and I still laugh at all the lustful skullduggery we resorted to, just for an hour or two alone without kids.

- Expose your kids to as many social hierarchies as you can. Friends they make based on school and neighbourhood life are basically factors of geography. When they take up other interests in life - sports, music, dance, whatever - they encounter more like-minded types and the friendships they make are often more enduring. They won't be dependant on one group's attitudes or opinions in how they view themselves and that's very healthy.

- Don't be a helicopter parent. Self growth is an organic thing that won't happen if you're constantly hovering about. Let them experience life on their own terms. And never, ever yell at your kids when they're playing sports unless it's to cheer. They mostly won't hear you. But other parents will. And never berate a referee. My son was one.

- Money's nice, but it doesn't buy happiness. Good kids are priceless and a constant source of pride and joy. Don't be afraid to put work considerations second when important family matters compete for your attention. Find a way. A good employer will value such a person.

- Look after yourself. When the kids see you showing a little self pride, it rubs off on them.

So much truth in that post. My kids have long gone into the world ( both are now in their 30's and my daughter has her own kids now). Treasure every minute you have while they are still your babies because before you know it they have grown and flown the nest.

 

[Daisuk]

You have to be so careful with what they learn though.

When I watch football, mine now asks why the ones in red are always cheating, and why the one in black is always helping them.

Haha, he's going to learn that sooner or later anyway though.

With a son and daughter freshly graduated from university and now happily and gainfully employed and moved out the house, let me say this to new parents: Enjoy it all because it's amazing how quickly it all whizzes by. You have from childbirth to the age of 12 to be a formative presence. After that, it's more about being supportive and encouraging of what they think because self determination kicks in then.

Nothing marks the ever-hastening passage of time like watching kids leave home. No sooner have they grown to become more than your children - your best friends in so many ways - and they're off. I hardly got enough time to borrow my son's cool shirts before he packed them off to his new apartment. Thankfully, he drops by for dinner every week or two and we swap notes often on music and sports.

But it seems like yesterday I was dropping him or my daughter off for ice hockey or soccer or swimming practices and sitting 'round sharing coffee and stories with other parents. Man, those were good times.

What else have I learned?

- It's great not to know the gender of the first-born child. That's a wonderful surprise. But once more start to arrive, it's good to know in advance, if possible, just so as to be able to plan properly for days ahead.

- It was great to ring the bell so promptly once my wife and I decided to start a family. It was even better not to ring the bell so quickly the second time around. The first time, I was working hard to keep her happy. The second time, she worked even harder to keep me happy before I eventually chose to make her pregnant again. It can be challenging to deal with some lean spells in the sack while a young family is happening. So bank some good memories and don't let the romance cool. It does get good again and it's pretty good these days being an empty nester. My wife and I still laugh at all the lustful skullduggery we resorted to, just for an hour or two alone without kids.

- Expose your kids to as many social hierarchies as you can. Friends they make based on school and neighbourhood life are basically factors of geography. When they take up other interests in life - sports, music, dance, whatever - they encounter more like-minded types and the friendships they make are often more enduring. They won't be dependant on one group's attitudes or opinions in how they view themselves and that's very healthy.

- Don't be a helicopter parent. Self growth is an organic thing that won't happen if you're constantly hovering about. Let them experience life on their own terms. And never, ever yell at your kids when they're playing sports unless it's to cheer. They mostly won't hear you. But other parents will. And never berate a referee. My son was one.

- Money's nice, but it doesn't buy happiness. Good kids are priceless and a constant source of pride and joy. Don't be afraid to put work considerations second when important family matters compete for your attention. Find a way. A good employer will value such a person.

- Look after yourself. When the kids see you showing a little self pride, it rubs off on them.

Man, thanks for this! Very sound advice. Thanks a lot for taking the time to share and write that.

 

[Baleforce]

You have to be so careful with what they learn though.

When I watch football, mine now asks why the ones in red are always cheating, and why the one in black is always helping them.

answer: because it's true

 

[Glenda's Legs]

You have to be so careful with what they learn though.

When I watch football, mine now asks why the ones in red are always cheating, and why the one in black is always helping them.

I don't see that as a problem. More like responsible parenting imo. Don't hide the truths or shy from the difficult issues. Give them the hard facts early on. It can only help them as they navigate life as a Spurs supporter.

 

[milo]

We had the 20 week scan this week. All is well and we're having a boy.

 

[PochettinoPochettinoPochettino]

We had the 20 week scan this week. All is well and we're having a boy.

Yes Milo! Join the club. Obviously we just wanted a healthy baby like all but happy it's a boy so I can start my football team! Congrats fella. We are 3 weeks or a month ahead I think..

 

[milo]

How's it going @GinolaGinolaGinola @Libero?

 

[PochettinoPochettinoPochettino]

5 weeks away mate. Due August 7th. She's massive.

I start my new job on 10th July and won't get paternity leave! Probably end up taking a weeks holiday and working from home though. Stupidly didn't tell them when interviewing so couldn't negotiate it into my contract!

How's yours going?

 

[milo]

5 weeks away mate. Due August 7th. She's massive.

I start my new job on 10th July and won't get paternity leave! Probably end up taking a weeks holiday and working from home though. Stupidly didn't tell them when interviewing so couldn't negotiate it into my contract!

How's yours going?

That paternity leave situation sucks but at least you're not stuck in a job you hate. You're new job is closer to home, isn't it? That'll make a difference.

We've got nine weeks to go and the baby is massive. My missus is a bit worried about getting it out. I'm hoping to have a month off afterwards but it's not all agreed at work yet.

 

[PochettinoPochettinoPochettino]

That paternity leave situation sucks but at least you're not stuck in a job you hate. You're new job is closer to home, isn't it? That'll make a difference.

We've got nine weeks to go and the baby is massive. My missus is a bit worried about getting it out. I'm hoping to have a month off afterwards but it's not all agreed at work yet.

Yeh it's Chelmsford Essex so I don't have to commute to London anymore which I'm over the moon about. Plus the company I worked for was one of the worst I've ever worked at so I'm glad to be out of there. Less stress, less travel and closer to the family.

A month? Nice! I'll have two I think, they mentioned on the phone that working from home could be an option so we will just see.

 

[milo]

Yeh it's Chelmsford Essex so I don't have to commute to London anymore which I'm over the moon about. Plus the company I worked for was one of the worst I've ever worked at so I'm glad to be out of there. Less stress, less travel and closer to the family.

A month? Nice! I'll have two I think, they mentioned on the phone that working from home could be an option so we will just see.

I'll probably end up working from home a bit during my time off but hopefully I'll be cut a little slack when I go back.

What are you most looking forward to GGG?

 

[PochettinoPochettinoPochettino]

I'll probably end up working from home a bit during my time off but hopefully I'll be cut a little slack when I go back.

What are you most looking forward to GGG?

I think looking forward to holding him and seeing him open his eyes, and the early days weeks and months growing up to laugh and recognise us. Little things like that as I've held mates and families babies but you don't have any kind of attachment. It will be weird and cool to see something that we have literally both created and I think I'm just looking forward to those times holding him really.

You Milo?

 

[milo]

I think looking forward to holding him and seeing him open his eyes, and the early days weeks and months growing up to laugh and recognise us. Little things like that as I've held mates and families babies but you don't have any kind of attachment. It will be weird and cool to see something that we have literally both created and I think I'm just looking forward to those times holding him really.

You Milo?

Obviously, I'm really looking forward to seeing him. After that, early recognition, smiles etc. I'm really looking forward to taking him to see my wife's family in Czech at Christmas too.

 

[Libero]

How's it going @GinolaGinolaGinola @Libero?

Nearly 29 weeks, Due on Sept 21st and everything was cool with the 20 week scan although we had to go back 2 weeks later because the baby wouldn't play ball with the in-depth scanning of the heart.......blatantly related to me!

Don't know what we are having and I am quite pleased that is going to be a surprise. I am slightly leaning towards wanting a girl as I come from a family mainly of boys and my missus is vice versa but as the cliché goes, as long as they are healthy then it matters not what they are.

Quite fortunate with my situation Paternity leave wise as I work shifts and have a week off before I do Nights as it is a 74 hour week so with some leave combined with that and the paternity leave I will have around 5 weeks off once baby initially arrives which is going to be handy the missus has elected for a C section which will take some recovery........she, like your missus Milo, is worried about the sheer size and possible damage of vaginal birth!

Really looking forward to it all tbh, just put the cot together and the baby changer which was painful to say the least (flatpack gonad*s) and got some clothes, bottles, sterliser, wipes etc to just get ahead of the game really......any prep for this must be helpful?!

 

[milo]

Nearly 29 weeks, Due on Sept 21st and everything was cool with the 20 week scan although we had to go back 2 weeks later because the baby wouldn't play ball with the in-depth scanning of the heart.......blatantly related to me!

Ours wouldn't play ball with the scan too and we had to go back. I found the scan really stressful, I was really nervous until they told me that everything was ok.

 

[Libero]

Ours wouldn't play ball with the scan too and we had to go back. I found the scan really stressful, I was really nervous until they told me that everything was ok.

Its funny, I never found any of the scans stressful although I found the waiting for the Downs/Patau/Edwards results a bit nervy......every time the phone went in the first 4-5 days after I was concerned it would be the Hospital but once I got past the first week it was cool and then a few days later the low risk letter arrived.

What's your due date? Must be the first week in Sept?

 

[milo]

Its funny, I never found any of the scans stressful although I found the waiting for the Downs/Patau/Edwards results a bit nervy......every time the phone went in the first 4-5 days after I was concerned it would be the Hospital but once I got past the first week it was cool and then a few days later the low risk letter arrived.

What's your due date? Must be the first week in Sept?

30th August

 

[markysimmo]

My little one is 17 months now, am absolutely loving the little character she has become, every moment with her is amazing, I treasure every moment I can spend with her

 

[Spursman]

Im also a new dad with a 16 week old boy. I wasn't one for kids and wasn't bothered having one. My Mrs wanted kids so i thought id give the green light.

Early days with scans etc are a bit nervy, we had to go back a couple of times due to lack of movement. The actual giving birth was terrible. Mrs was induced. Went home for a kip and got a phone call to come back. Drove to the hospital like a maniac as i had visions prior that all wouldn't be well.

Got to the hospital and the midwife was there and her face didnt look right, i thought something terrible happened. She said that my wife had to have emergency c section as the cord got stuck round the babies neck! Both we ok though and she asked if id like to see my son. They wheeled him out to me and i was met with a wide awake alert boy! it was mixed emotions as i was upset my Mrs wasn't there as she was still under, i was also worried for her. So the first hour and a bit it was just me and my son. Mrs Mrs was in and out of sleep and wasn't really with it.

Thankfully all is great with the little fella and i have never felt love like it. I still look at him with amazement and what a little character he is becoming. I am so thankful that everything turned out ok. He is in the other room now sleeping, just thinking about him makes me smile