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F**king Spiders

DHSF

Les Ferdinand
Now whilst im not fearful of spiders and dont consider myself to have a phobia of s[iders I came head to head last night with the mother of all of them... it was ****ing ridiculous. This was easily four inches big, it looked like it was on steroids and pumped iron for the past six months in readiness for the summer.

I didnt catch it and dont want to kill it, normally id hoover the ****ers up but not in this case. I am unsure where it is in the flat now im sure its not dangerous but this freakeme out. After research im thinking its a huntsman, certainly looked it.

I also think spiders are becoming way bigger, they used to be so miniscule but now theyre the size of tarantulas. ****ers.
 
4 inches, so it was bigger then your penis then that must have been scary, you should see the spiders in Latvia fcuking massive and you know what i fart and they run off problem solved.

Man up biiitchhhhhhhhhhhh

:barnet:
 
4 inches, so it was bigger then your penis then that must have been scary, you should see the spiders in Latvia fcuking massive and you know what i fart and they run off problem solved.

Man up biiitchhhhhhhhhhhh

:barnet:

****

Im sure the guy in AVBs article 'manned up' and look at his big ****ing leg haha. I need to find it as im sure its still in this house.
 
Spiders don't fit in my Noah's ark. Nor do wasps, got stung right in the belly today! Through the haze of pain I cried out "SATAN"!! To which my 4 yr old boy replied: SATAN! Hours later he's at the piano writing a liberetto, turns to and says: this one I'm calling the song of satan.

Life goes on, Corky Thatcher style.

Sent fra min HTC One via Tapatalk
 
harryhuntsman.jpg

This is Harry Huntsman. He lived with me in Sydney and got rid of all the really venomous critters in the house...
 
****

Im sure the guy in AVBs article 'manned up' and look at his big ****ing leg haha. I need to find it as im sure its still in this house.
False Widow spiders aren't 4 inches, yours sounds more like the tarantula I put through your letterbox, James Bond Dr No style.

Spiders don't fit in my Noah's ark. Nor do wasps, got stung right in the belly today! Through the haze of pain I cried out "SATAN"!! To which my 4 yr old boy replied: SATAN! Hours later he's at the piano writing a liberetto, turns to and says: this one I'm calling the song of satan.

Life goes on, Corky Thatcher style.
:ross:
 
I got bit by something, assume its a spider. On my bicep. Looked like a pimple at first, then just went massive and red and all sensitive. Calmed down a bit now though.
 
Lifted up my outside bench for a clean, and underneath saw a redback with a couple big egg sacs attached to the bench. Gave them a quick squash, but geez I hate those buggers.

When I bought my first house, opened up the fuse box and saw about 20 different spider eggs in there. Was like something from a horror movie, gave me a fright.
 
Probably about 6 more of those living in your house without you knowing about it.

When we were living in Homebush there was all sorts happening under the house and in the garden. I have no fear of spiders but seeing a couple of large huntsmans dart out from behind the TV....

I once had a red back settle in my hoodie for about 4 hours without realising. I only noticed when I felt it come out and crawl up my neck. I miss Australia.
 
Lifted up my outside bench for a clean, and underneath saw a redback with a couple big egg sacs attached to the bench. Gave them a quick squash, but geez I hate those buggers.

When I bought my first house, opened up the fuse box and saw about 20 different spider eggs in there. Was like something from a horror movie, gave me a fright.

Have you ever seen a Funnel Web? I didn't see any in my time in Sydney.
 
Have you ever seen a Funnel Web? I didn't see any in my time in Sydney.

Superted is in Adelaide I believe? I think funnel webs are only in Sydney.

My mum once caught one planning an attack on my sister, who was sleeping on the floor. Managed to put a jam jar over the top of it, and it died in its attack position. For those not aware of that looks like...

Atrax_robustus.jpg


Edit: there are other types of funnel webs, but the Sydney one is the most venomous (I think). We used to fish lots of them out of our pool - easily confused with leaves. Also check your shoes too, especially when it has been raining!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sydney_funnel-web_spider

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_funnel-web_spider
 
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If ever there was an animal species that represented the term, 'DON'T F@&K WITH MY S&@T!' The Funnel Web has to be up there.

That could have been an incredibly painful time for your sister!
 
They are the most venomous but apparently the tree-dwelling funnel web releases more venom when biting. Even when I was living in an apartment in inner Sydders I still checked my shoes!
 
One day spiders will have evolved so much that they WILL take over the world. In fact I bet if we ever find extraterrestrial intelligent life much more developed than us they will be space fairing tarantulas hell bent on enslaving us. They may even catch us in giant jars due to a developed sense of irony.
 
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