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Does anyone suffer from mental illness on here?

Not sure why but am having a bad patch, had a wobble the other day and had a few drinks. But on the whole i am doing it right. But I can feel the anger rising in me and nothing seems to be getting me calm. I have that whole cloudy feeling in my head and the sort of out of breath anxiety thing that has me second guessing everything.

Hope everyone else is all right though. Ben,
 
Not sure why but am having a bad patch, had a wobble the other day and had a few drinks. But on the whole i am doing it right. But I can feel the anger rising in me and nothing seems to be getting me calm. I have that whole cloudy feeling in my head and the sort of out of breath anxiety thing that has me second guessing everything.

Hope everyone else is all right though. Ben,
Stay strong mate.
It has passed before.
Stay aware. You seem good like that.
 
Stay strong, Danish. Go for a run or something similar, get your heart pumping and get sweating, can often help for more of an "immediate" release of the anger and anxiety.
 
Not sure why but am having a bad patch, had a wobble the other day and had a few drinks. But on the whole i am doing it right. But I can feel the anger rising in me and nothing seems to be getting me calm. I have that whole cloudy feeling in my head and the sort of out of breath anxiety thing that has me second guessing everything.

Hope everyone else is all right though. Ben,

Have you tried a punchbag? You like to exercise, combine it with anger and beat phuck out of a punchbag for 30 minutes (just get some wraps for your wrists and hands, and preferably some gloves too.) Be a bit careful not to do your hands and wrists in and it's a good release.
 
Not sure why but am having a bad patch, had a wobble the other day and had a few drinks. But on the whole i am doing it right. But I can feel the anger rising in me and nothing seems to be getting me calm. I have that whole cloudy feeling in my head and the sort of out of breath anxiety thing that has me second guessing everything.

Hope everyone else is all right though. Ben,

Sorry to hear that pal, stay strong its never easy but as the years pass it does get easier. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life so make sure its a good one.
 
Thanks guys, everyone that ive told has said its the right decision. Those that would have said its not, I would have told to go fcuk themselves but would have had that doubt. I don't need recognition but at the same time I do I guess.

DanishFl you are so right. I know it will come back and it does and I know this isn't a quick fix but its along the lines of the fix. I wont be entirely happy but I do know I will be happier and I have to give it a go.

I may miss my old life and London as I do literally have so much freedom (but both my bosses knew it wasn't going to last) so I think I have got out at the right time.

I can also reinvent myself at this new place and be a more maturer me (who maybe fudges up and is a kid sometimes) but a more diluted me.

Lets see how this goes.

Thanks again guys.

GGG
I started this week.

Edit: always good when you go out and get tinkled and reply to yourself.
 
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I don't understand how killers can blame depression. I've had depressive spells and the only person that I thought about killing was myself.

I know everyone's mental health is different, but, I can't help but think that whenever a criminal is found guilty, if they have a medical condition then the crime is attributed to the medical health.
 
I don't understand how killers can blame depression. I've had depressive spells and the only person that I thought about killing was myself.

I know everyone's mental health is different, but, I can't help but think that whenever a criminal is found guilty, if they have a medical condition then the crime is attributed to the medical health.

I am a lot nicer when the black dog takes over. Well I would not say nice, I sort of draw into myself, but I am a lot less opinionated and kinder to other people, but when I get depression I dont want to deal with the world, I also have a lot more empathy for others when the black dog is around, maybe because I over think things. When I am normal me I could not give a fcuk about most people except family and think the rest of the world can go fcuking do one.

Of course meds effect us all differently and far to much is unknown.

In a book I read on willpower called willpower the two writers made a startling and excellent observation about how people had more willpower when their glucose levels were highest, thus being able to fight addiction and urges better. In a trial in America they actually used low glucose levels as a defence for a criminal and it became known as the glucose defence.

My point being we can not know all the effects different things have on people.
 
A young girl I work with committed suicide a few weeks back

She was getting help from work and therapy etc, told them one day I'm fine I don't need it anymore and killed herself the next day

Really sad, she was a quiet girl, kept herself to herself ultra bright, what a waste of a young life
 
A young girl I work with committed suicide a few weeks back

She was getting help from work and therapy etc, told them one day I'm fine I don't need it anymore and killed herself the next day

Really sad, she was a quiet girl, kept herself to herself ultra bright, what a waste of a young life

Bloody hell..........thats is depressing to be around.
Im only reading it and I can feel the sadness.
Chin up mate.
 
I'm good thanks

No matter how bad a time I'm having which luckily isn't very often I could never take my own life

I have too many things in my life worth living for with the main one being my little girl
The thing is, I feel the same too especially with my little boy due iminently but you never know what is going through these people's minds when it happens. I guess it is a moment of madness that is in sanity? I have no idea and hope I never do it, but all I can say is that I have been very close, once and I will never do it again. Contradiction I know, but I stopped myself. I dont think I've ever told someone outside of my close friends before.
 
The thing is, I feel the same too especially with my little boy due iminently but you never know what is going through these people's minds when it happens. I guess it is a moment of madness that is in sanity? I have no idea and hope I never do it, but all I can say is that I have been very close, once and I will never do it again. Contradiction I know, but I stopped myself. I dont think I've ever told someone outside of my close friends before.

I can relate to that myself, i had just turned 21 and had gone through a few rough years and my life had turned upside down. I was taking anti depression tablets but ( although i did not relise it at the time) they were making me feel a lot worse. i cut myself off from all my friends ( never had much of a family) and threw away a good opurtunity to do what i always wanted to do ( play football for a living) I found myself one day looking in the bathroom mirror and thinking what's the point and i even had a carving knife in my hand.

Thankfully i decided to throw all my pills down the bog and stop feeling sorry for myself, i still have some problems but that was the best thing i EVER done, i try very hard not to let things get on top of me and i do two things everyday, 1, every day i wake up i say " hello cruel world" and 2, last thing at night i always say "goodnight cruel world" at the same time i stick my middle finger up to the world and say " you will not get me".

Now i know some may think that is stupid but as i have said before we ALL have to find our own way of dealing with the darkness, i am now in my late 60's and still trucking so it worked for me.
 
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I can relate to that myself, i had just turned 21 and had gone through a few rough years and my life had turned upside down. I was taking anti depression tablets but ( although i did not relise it at the time) they were making me feel a lot worse. i cut myself off from all my friends ( never had much of a family) and threw away a good opurtunity to do what i always wanted to do ( play football for a living) I found myself one day looking in the bathroom mirror and thinking what's the point and i even had a carving knife in my hand.

Thankfully i decided to throw all my pills down the bog and stop feeling sorry for myself, i still have some problems but that was the best thing i EVER done, i try very hard not to let things get on top of me and i do two things everyday, 1, every day i wake up i say " hello cruel world" and 2, last thing at night i always say "goodnight cruel world" at the same time i stick my middle finger up to the world and say " you will not get me".

Now i know some may think that is stupid but as i have said before we ALL have to find our own way of dealing with the darkness, i am now in my late 60's and still trucking so it worked for me.
Mate that's very brave of you to reveal this. I can't applaud you any more for saying what you said. It's hard and people must go through this so many times and never have anyone to tell outside the people close to them.

Mine was when I was still active on here in 2012. Me and my ex were going through and bad time and I knew it was at an end. She lived with me at my flat and after a while she moved out back to her parents to give us space.

One night I was out with my mates just over the road from my flat (my old flat was in the town centre) in a bar and she text me saying that her and her mum were moving stuff out of my flat whilst I was out so it was easier for both of us.

I could literally see the building from the bar and was in a bad way but continued to drink and do drugs telling strangers what was happening. At about 3 am I returned to my flat alone where all of her belongings and clothings had been removed and I was in a very bad way.

I stood on a chair and got my dressing gown robe and put the tie round my neck and tied it to the ceiling lamp in my bedroom. I was there crying for what felt an eternity not knowing what to do, but I'm here now and I must have had an epiphany.

The lamp most likely wouldn't have taken my weight but who knows. I was that close. Something stopped me.

I'm glad I'm here to tell the story and I'm not saying this for a reaction or anything at all.

I just feel in a much better place than I did back then, as I've turned my life around, even if I do have some very bad days.
 
Mate that's very brave of you to reveal this. I can't applaud you any more for saying what you said. It's hard and people must go through this so many times and never have anyone to tell outside the people close to them.

Mine was when I was still active on here in 2012. Me and my ex were going through and bad time and I knew it was at an end. She lived with me at my flat and after a while she moved out back to her parents to give us space.

One night I was out with my mates just over the road from my flat (my old flat was in the town centre) in a bar and she text me saying that her and her mum were moving stuff out of my flat whilst I was out so it was easier for both of us.

I could literally see the building from the bar and was in a bad way but continued to drink and do drugs telling strangers what was happening. At about 3 am I returned to my flat alone where all of her belongings and clothings had been removed and I was in a very bad way.

I stood on a chair and got my dressing gown robe and put the tie round my neck and tied it to the ceiling lamp in my bedroom. I was there crying for what felt an eternity not knowing what to do, but I'm here now and I must have had an epiphany.

The lamp most likely wouldn't have taken my weight but who knows. I was that close. Something stopped me.

I'm glad I'm here to tell the story and I'm not saying this for a reaction or anything at all.

I just feel in a much better place than I did back then, as I've turned my life around, even if I do have some very bad days.


I do not consider myself brave at all mate but i do understand what you are saying about being able to open up about these feelings. At the end of the day we have to accept that the World is not a " Hunky Dory " place and its not full of caring people ( although they are many out there who are). There is a old saying that sticks in my mind " life stinks but its what and how you deal with it that counts, i try and remember that.

Your last line ( I just feel in a much better place than I did back then, as I've turned my life around, even if I do have some very bad days) is the crux of it for me, i look at it this way i have to have the bad days as it makes me appreciate more the good days when they come along. Good luck mate hang in there.
 
A young girl I work with committed suicide a few weeks back

She was getting help from work and therapy etc, told them one day I'm fine I don't need it anymore and killed herself the next day

Really sad, she was a quiet girl, kept herself to herself ultra bright, what a waste of a young life

Oh mate. Awful. Sorry to read that.
 
I'm sorry to hear of some of the troubles you guys have been facing - but equally, it's great to see how some difficulties have been overcome and the dialogue that needs to happen.

I'm actually looking into setting up something to help people with mental health issues.

It would be incredibly helpful if people could message me with what they've found to be helpful - whether just things like sleep, exercise, discussion over forums etc. Likewise, any particular websites or techniques etc.

Thanks!
 
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