Does anyone suffer from mental illness on here?

[SpurMeUp]

Depression and anxiety is often caused by struggling to accept the present circumstances, or wanting to change those things that cannot be changed. That's where my life falls.

So true. My fathers poor health and him giving up smoking have left him desperate and stuck. Hard for him to see any way out or way to get there.

Exceptionally hard to take any steps forward, but looks like you are! I hope things will improve.


Sitting on my porcelain throne using glory-glory.co.uk mobile app

 

[philspursuk]

Great thread !!
Ive been suffering with anxiety/depression for 2 years now. When it peaked I walked out on my then contract where I was working, then got some private CBT. Slowly learning to live with it. Can convince myself my world is falling apart sometimes on a weekly basis. Can relate to so much here especially the exercise part. It's definitely the current highlights of my week cycling.
But, I'm curious is this a current epidemic ? If so why ? How are we living differently now to how our parents lived, or were they simply told to get on with it. My mother is generally a good Mum but just doesn't get this !!

 

[El Guepardo]

Great thread !!
Ive been suffering with anxiety/depression for 2 years now. When it peaked I walked out on my then contract where I was working, then got some private CBT. Slowly learning to live with it. Can convince myself my world is falling apart sometimes on a weekly basis. Can relate to so much here especially the exercise part. It's definitely the current highlights of my week cycling.
But, I'm curious is this a current epidemic ? If so why ? How are we living differently now to how our parents lived, or were they simply told to get on with it. My mother is generally a good Mum but just doesn't get this !!

I can totally relate to how you can convince yourself that your World is falling apart. It's tough as you see evidence from a different perspective, shaping the evidence to fit your fear that things are going to go wrong.

One thing I have realised is that although it's good to talk, as it doesn't change outcomes or the situation at hand, sometimes it just creates the need for more reassurance with each step & you develop your own support group that you fall back on and so it becomes like a crutch, rather than managing the situation itself.

The hard part is knowing how else to deal with it when your World is full of uncertainty, you are struggling to look rationally at what is happening, and your fear is driving you to share with others. It really isn't easy.

I don't get how people can live their lives without talking to others about their stresses, and when they are unhappy. Is it because they have better coping mechanisms? Or is it the anxiety that talks?

 

[monkeybarry]

Update for my situation. I have contacted the psychologist that I was having sessions with last year, as I am going to start sessions again. It continues to feel like I'm living a nightmare. Depression and anxiety is often caused by struggling to accept the present circumstances, or wanting to change those things that cannot be changed. That's where my life falls.

I'm with you there.
And the person I want to confide in is also the person that caused so much pain and I find it hard to be around.
So I deal with it by just keeping myself busy doing things everyday until I'm so exhausted I have to crash for a few days.
I feel very alone and without a feeling of home.
I know I have to deal with the emotional fallout, but I just don't have the strength.

Sent from my Nexus 5X using glory-glory.co.uk mobile app

 

[El Guepardo]

I'm with you there.
And the person I want to confide in is also the person that caused so much pain and I find it hard to be around.
So I deal with it by just keeping myself busy doing things everyday until I'm so exhausted I have to crash for a few days.
I feel very alone and without a feeling of home.
I know I have to deal with the emotional fallout, but I just don't have the strength.

Sent from my Nexus 5X using glory-glory.co.uk mobile app

You have my support. I can understand what you are going through. It's tough, especially when it's events of the heart. All you can do is keep yourself busy, as you have said, and give yourself time to think in part of the day, but the rest of the day, have distractions or something else that you can think about to take your mind away from what is happening/happened. Each day you survive and push forward is a testament to your strength. There will be times where all hope is lost, but other times when you question why you even get concerned. Just know that time, and you, keep moving forward and hopefully the matters that have caused distress will have less affect upon you as you move forward. You can always PM me if it helps.

 

[Gilzeantoscore]

This un-certain world has been created deliberately. It has been created to remove old certainties in the hope of producing a fearful, conformist, despairing and passive workforce.

 

[philspursuk]

can you expand on that ?

 

[scaramanga]

Great thread !!
Ive been suffering with anxiety/depression for 2 years now. When it peaked I walked out on my then contract where I was working, then got some private CBT. Slowly learning to live with it. Can convince myself my world is falling apart sometimes on a weekly basis. Can relate to so much here especially the exercise part. It's definitely the current highlights of my week cycling.
But, I'm curious is this a current epidemic ? If so why ? How are we living differently now to how our parents lived, or were they simply told to get on with it. My mother is generally a good Mum but just doesn't get this !!

The general consensus is that it's increased awareness and acceptance.

In the same way as it would appear that autism is on the increase, diagnosis has improved and people are readily talking about it.

Even if this forum had existed, this thread wouldn't have a generation ago. brick, it probably wouldn't have 10 years ago.

 

[philspursuk]

Right, so it always existed but never had a label and therefore didnt have the awareness.

 

[Bullet]

I don't get how people can live their lives without talking to others about their stresses

I choose not to get stressed about things. It is only a job, only a house, only this, only that. I know some people that obsess about what happened last week, or obsess about what he said to him and whether she meant that he meant that she shouldn't have said that thing to him .... I don't dwell on anything like that, I don't even give it a thought.

Mind you I realise this can be a thin veneer for some, easily cracked. Luckily I have a gargantuan penis and a wonderful sense of humour.

 

[Aldo]

I choose not to get stressed about things. It is only a job, only a house, only this, only that. I know some people that obsess about what happened last week, or obsess about what he said to him and whether she meant that he meant that she shouldn't have said that thing to him .... I don't dwell on anything like that, I don't even give it a thought.

Mind you I realise this can be a thin veneer for some, easily cracked. Luckily I have a gargantuan penis and a wonderful sense of humour.

Skim reading at this time of night, I genuinely read that as orang utan.

 

[scaramanga]

Right, so it always existed but never had a label and therefore didnt have the awareness.

Pretty much. Many mental illnesses had names too, they were just swept under the carpet as it used to be embarrassing, even shameful, to admit that you or a family member suffered.

 

[braineclipse]

The general consensus is that it's increased awareness and acceptance.

In the same way as it would appear that autism is on the increase, diagnosis has improved and people are readily talking about it.

Even if this forum had existed, this thread wouldn't have a generation ago. brick, it probably wouldn't have 10 years ago.

That's definitely a part of it.

But at the same time I think we have to look at societal and cultural factors. There have been changes that I think contribute to the current increase. Whereas some factors are perhaps protective against what was probably more prevalent in the past.

The pressure on young people today is quite different to what it was even 10-15 years ago and very different to what it was longer ago. I'm not sure we can say that there's more pressure quantitatively speaking, but the pressure is qualitatively different imo.

This un-certain world has been created deliberately. It has been created to remove old certainties in the hope of producing a fearful, conformist, despairing and passive workforce.

Compared to when exactly? The 20th century saw two world wars, the great depression, Spanish flu and other illnesses and the threat of immediate nuclear annihilation during the cold war.

 

[scaramanga]

The pressure on young people today is quite different to what it was even 10-15 years ago and very different to what it was longer ago. I'm not sure we can say that there's more pressure quantitatively speaking, but the pressure is qualitatively different imo.

In what ways exactly?

Not disagreeing, it's just not something I've given a lot of thought to. Life appears to me to have got significantly easier over the last couple of decades and I assumed it was the same for most.

 

[90291Spur]

That's definitely a part of it.

But at the same time I think we have to look at societal and cultural factors. There have been changes that I think contribute to the current increase. Whereas some factors are perhaps protective against what was probably more prevalent in the past.

The pressure on young people today is quite different to what it was even 10-15 years ago and very different to what it was longer ago. I'm not sure we can say that there's more pressure quantitatively speaking, but the pressure is qualitatively different imo.



Compared to when exactly? The 20th century saw two world wars, the great depression, Spanish flu and other illnesses and the threat of immediate nuclear annihilation during the cold war.

Part of the increase of stress is due to the rapid increase in speed of spread of information. While the flu of 1918 killed millions there wasn't the means to show the devastation minute by minute. What is going on in the world now - floods, famines, civil wars, despots despoting - is nothing new. We are just aware of so much more.

And the generation in their 20' and 30's are so much easier in admitting that they have therapists and are on meds, which is a good thing as that stigma has gone. But the amount of people of meds to ease their suffering is also worrying. My missus is about to take her licensing exam as a therapist here in California and has seen first-hand how tough it is to come off anti-depressants.

As I'm fairly new to this thread I'll just send my best wishes to all my fellow GG'ers who are having a tough time (it won't stop me posting the odd intolerant reply to posts about our believed Spurs).

 

[braineclipse]

Compared to the deliberate policy of undermining the self confidence of the working classes, so as to bring on a supine work force that is reluctant to stand up for it's democratic rights. What do you think happened to the post War consensus? The neo-liberal Tories tore it up, because it suits their selfish economic agenda. We live in an age of constant work place reviews, often nothing more than hoop jumping exercises, key performance indicators, dilution of the social safety net and policy which divides and alienates one worker from another. An anxious worker is a docile worker This cancer is all pervasive.

So somewhere post WW2 is what you think was the better time in this regard? I'm not convinced it was that much better for the average worker overall though things have definitely changed. I think there was a much greater need for a compliant work force in the past.

 

[braineclipse]

In what ways exactly?

Not disagreeing, it's just not something I've given a lot of thought to. Life appears to me to have got significantly easier over the last couple of decades and I assumed it was the same for most.

Easier in the material sense for sure. If we were cats our lives would have been much easier and more comfortable.

Some of the societal and cultural changes I see as perhaps relevant:

-Increased news exposure and negativity. The news media had changed a lot and not for the better.

-Much larger groups to compare oneself to. We've always compared ourselves to others, but now we do so to much larger groups.

-Expectations of education and careers. Used to be a decent trade education and a steady job was a decent benchmark for success. Now a much longer education is needed and a very different skillset is needed.

-Frankly ridiculous standards for beauty and appearance.

-Marketing selling us on the idea of consumption as a path to happiness.

-The pervasive idea that fame is somehow success and something to be struggled hard for.

-The lack of purpose. With an easier life the purpose many found in the past through various struggles have disappeared. Now we're supposed to find our realize our selves. It's a very different proposition and one where short term success is often far out of reach.

 

[ricky2tricky4city]

Easier in the material sense for sure. If we were cats our lives would have been much easier and more comfortable.

Some of the societal and cultural changes I see as perhaps relevant:

-Increased news exposure and negativity. The news media had changed a lot and not for the better.

-Much larger groups to compare oneself to. We've always compared ourselves to others, but now we do so to much larger groups.

-Expectations of education and careers. Used to be a decent trade education and a steady job was a decent benchmark for success. Now a much longer education is needed and a very different skillset is needed.

-Frankly ridiculous standards for beauty and appearance.

-Marketing selling us on the idea of consumption as a path to happiness.

-The pervasive idea that fame is somehow success and something to be struggled hard for.

-The lack of purpose. With an easier life the purpose many found in the past through various struggles have disappeared. Now we're supposed to find our realize our selves. It's a very different proposition and one where short term success is often far out of reach.

Saved me some writing there @braineclipse ..

 

[ricky2tricky4city]

As @braineclipse listed the landscape and challenges of the modern times have changed.

For example. A woman could quite easily have psychological problems about having small tits. Anxiety, self worth, depression etc. At face value it is ridiculous (and it is) but they are very real to that person.

That is just one example (of many) of the tragic landscape people have to deal with. Imo the problem is people lack perspective and in general just think too much about things that just don't matter, and are largely just stories being fed to them by their mind.

Although it's a bigger conversation, many peoples issues are childhood legacies that still remain, buried deeply but never exercised. When things happen in your childhood the brain and mind are not developed enough to process what you are experiencing...It's very black or white. You can't see shades of grey, reason things, laterally think or have the vocabulary to talk conclusively about things. But it doesn't stop this stuff going in, it goes in unprocessed and gets buried, it doesn't leave you. And there are plenty of bad childhoods in recent times.

And that's combined with the other stuff mentioned above by BE.

Personally I try to strip it back. Three things are really IMPORTANT. Food, shelter, security. If I've got them locked down.....anything else is not really that important (ie perspective).

Ps. Just too add, I've not always been like this, it has taken me a while to get here

 

[scaramanga]

-Increased news exposure and negativity. The news media had changed a lot and not for the better.

What you're saying is true, but this has also been matched with increased accessibility to the source material with greater ability to come to one's own conclusions.

-Much larger groups to compare oneself to. We've always compared ourselves to others, but now we do so to much larger groups.

Maybe this just a self confidence issue, but I've never felt that comparison to others was a stressful or negative experience. Then again, it's not really something I've allowed to take up much of my time either.

I know that's not the case for all people, but isn't the difference similar to that of a kid growing up in a village or a city?

-Expectations of education and careers. Used to be a decent trade education and a steady job was a decent benchmark for success. Now a much longer education is needed and a very different skillset is needed.

This I absolutely agree with, and I think the two sides of it are intrinsically linked.

I can only speak of what I've seen in the UK, but setting targets for university attendance regardless of aptitude is one of the worst political decisions ever made in this country, and stinks of an international tinkling contest.

It not only decreases the value of a degree but also devalues the results of not having one. I'm hugely in favour schools tailoring their education to be more vocational for those who are clearly not suited for academia.

-Frankly ridiculous
s standards for beauty and appearance.

I'm not sure the standards are that ridiculous.

Again, only speaking for the UK but have you seen what people here looked like in the 70s? I think the current trend is going a bit far and will revert a bit like all fashions, but a gym membership and some hair removal can't be a bad thing.

As for the effect that has on an individual, much like the peer comparison issue isn't that just a self confidence thing? If so, then surely the focus should be on the root cause itself?

-Marketing selling us on the idea of consumption as a path to happiness.

Consumption is enjoyable. As a product of my hard work I have lots of nice things that I like having. Many merely supplement other interests (projector and good speakers for films), others are labour saving and give me more time (the one thing I can't earn more of) like a robotic mower or a Google Home.

These are all things I didn't know about until they were marketed at me but all improve my life in their own small way.

-The pervasive idea that fame is somehow success and something to be struggled hard for.

That's just a stupid tax. Nobody with a brain wants to be famous.

-The lack of purpose. With an easier life the purpose many found in the past through various struggles have disappeared. Now we're supposed to find our realize our selves. It's a very different proposition and one where short term success is often far out of reach.

I don't think we're supposed to do anything. If life came with an instruction manual it would just say "Enjoy yourself and don't be a dingdong."

The real beauty of the lack of struggle in everyday life now is the ability to "choose your own adventure". Much of my early years were spent chasing tail, when my wife and I settled I spent my spare time furthering my knowledge and reading. Now I just spend time with my son doing whatever the fudge his 4 year old mind wants to do today. This morning that was going out into the garden with no shoes on and having a lightsaber fight.

My point is that there is no point. No reason, no purpose, no one thing that we have to do. Life just is. Understand that, enjoy yourself and don't be a dingdong - the rest is easy.