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What seemed like a great idea suddenly didn’t seem so good. A rare opportunity to get to an away game and a £15 ticket, sounded rather splendid during the week. However, when my alarm clock went off at 7am on Sunday morning, the prospect of a four hour journey to Bolton seemed dreadful. I rolled out of bed, quickly got ready while my mate came over to pick me up. We went to Tesco Express to stock up on Lucozade and Jaffa Cakes for the journey (if you’re reading this McVities I fecking LOVE Jaffa Cakes). I stuck in the Spurs CD and the journey began. Luckily my mate had borrowed a sat nat so we wouldn’t get lost like we did on the way to Pompey earlier in the season.

With the Chas n’ Dave blaring out we had a trouble free journey, apart from the rip-off service station breakfast we had to endure as well as fruit machines that weren’t paying out (although there was sound on the Deal Or No Deal machine). There were a few other Spurs fans there even at that early hour. We got to Bolton an hour and a half before kick off and headed to The Beehive, the away pub.

Everything had been going well up to this point, until I got the bar. It took me over twenty minutes to get served, their bar staff were appalling. They need a few Aussies up there, you can say what you like about the convicts but they know how to work behind that bar! It seemed like I was invisible and the barmaid, who looked like a downs syndrome Peter Kay, seemed to be looking straight through me. The bloke next to me also had this problem and when I finally got served I got his beers in for him as well (getting the money off him first of course!).  After a few chants of ‘Yid Army’ and ‘We love Tottenham more then you’ it was time to get to the ground.

It was strange inside their ground, a pint was cheaper then it was in the pub. My mate had a cheese burger as he was driving and he was impressed. When we took our seats we were shocked at how few Bolton fans were there. We completely outsung them with chants such as “you’re ground’s too big for you” and “we only speak English” (we couldn’t understand half of what those feckers were saying). The first half was disappointing and had me wishing I’d stayed at home! The second half was much better and even though we missed a penalty and drew, we were still feeling upbeat as we finished the match strongly.

We made good time on the way home only stopping for a KFC and the toilet (after the pre-match beers I only just made it to the service station!) It was well worth going to as we had a good day, no doubt that view would have been different if we’d played in the second half like we had in the first!

Being a 5.30pm kick off it meant I got more time to sleep of the hangover, meaning when I did actually wake up I wasn’t feeling too bad.  The sun was also out and I had a feeling it was going to be a good day. I wasn’t going with the usual crowd as two of them had to work due to the England v Australia odi at Lord’s, so two mates had their tickets. There were four of us in total, me two mates and a mate’s dad.

The journey to the ground was interesting due to a dodgy driver in front of us. He kept going into the middle of the road and nearly clipped three cars and a bus. When we went past him he was a 70 year old who looked like a drunken old tramp! Probably a gooner (his car was red! ) After that we went back to talking about who ‘Arry was going to pick and I bored everyone with how great Palacios is.

We made it to Tottenham in good time and headed straight to the Coach and Horses. There was a massive queue at the bar which included an absolutely stunning lady. Two of us tried our hardest not to stare, but we failed miserably. Luckily she didn’t notice (or pretended not to). While we were having out pre-match beers we kept hearing cheers from inside the pub. We knew they were watching Soccer Saturday, but we didn’t know if it was Arsenal or Chelsea that had conceded! A few kids ran inside to found out but it quickly become obvious what had happened as there were chants of ‘Adebayor…’ from inside!

At 5pm the pub started emptying and we made our way into the ground via the burger fan at the old petrol station. There were some attractive ladies handing out espn hat  but they walked straight past me. They probably though ‘he’s a poser and wouldn’t want to mess his hair up’. (and they’d be right!) When I took up my usual seat in the Shelf I realised  the hat would have come in handy. Due to the late afternoon kick off the sun was in my eyes for the whole of the first half. I should have taken my sunglasses (would also have helped when I was letching at the girl in the Coach and Horses). Unfortunately the started to mirror the sun. When that started going down the day started getting worse! (I won’t rant on about the match). The acca’ I put on before the game also flopped badly.

Obviously we were all disappointed after the game and the journey back to North West London was moaning and ranting for the first part of the ride, before we changed the subject and got onto drinking and women. Then as we all went our separate ways we were all optimistic that we can go to the Bridge and do Chelsea. COYS